<p>Can you please read my readmission letter and give constructive criticism on it? This is a very rough letter and I will not be sending this to my school. Also, how specific should I get with my mental health? Should I give them prescriptions or doctors names? I already sent them my transcript from another school but should I give them more? Do you think I organized the letter effectively? I am definitely not the person who got dismissed. My shyness was so severe I actually had problems writing on internet forums before. Thanks for any help.</p>
<p>I am writing this letter to appeal my dismissal from the University and to continue my studies there. First and foremost I blame myself for my low GPA and subsequent dismissal from the University. I have always been a very shy and reserved person and being away from my family I felt alone and isolated and developed an anxiety disorder within my freshman year. It soon became hard for me to leave my house and did not seek help for my mood disorder. Instead of going to school my new freedoms got to my head and barely studied while home. I did not truly understand the importance of a college education. I now know that whatever is going on in life my studies should be first because it is my future. </p>
<p>January of 2011 I went to a therapist and officially got diagnosed with social anxiety. Throughout the year I met with therapists and psychiatrists who helped lessen the symptoms with medication and practical techniques. However, my mentor and friend whom I met at church helped me the most. Through his friendship and teachings I gained confidence in myself and I am much less anxious and more confident in public settings. Also, for the past year and a half I worked to support myself. My job finally crushed my childish tendencies and gave me confidence socially also. Through my job I also gained a new found appreciation of education and what it means for me to have a college education under my belt. </p>
<p>I am truly thankful for my job because it helped me afford to pay for community college myself. I enrolled at community college to prove to both the university and me that I am ready and capable of returning. The most important thing that I learned at community college was proper study habits. Every week throughout the semester I met with a tutor who taught me effective study methods and habits to form. In addition, I moved in to a house with fellow students I met at community college who are just as motivated as I am for school. The new atmosphere where I live and my tutor made it much easier to focus on studies. I studied for hours until I memorized my textbooks cover to cover. Using my new skills I achieved a 3.75 GPA while taking 12 credits. Two of the four classes I took at community college were classes I failed in at the University. I am proud to say that I never earned less than a B on any of the assignments I was given. </p>
<p>I hope you reconsider my dismissal as it was for a different person than the person writing this letter. I am happier and more self-assured. Most importantly I matured into a better person and student and am finally achieving the grades that I know I can. I will continue to meet with my tutor weekly and study more than the required amount of time to internalize the information.</p>
<p>Sounds pretty good. Right after your first sentence I would say something like “I have identified and corrected the issues that caused my poor grades and have taken classes to show I can do the work needed.” Then go into your background details. I just think to hit them up front that they can expect some proven remedy rather than a bunch of excuses seems like a good idea.</p>
<p>Also I would not say “I know now that…” in the first paragraph because that belongs at the end.</p>
<p>I don’t like this one: Instead of going to school my new freedoms got to my head and barely studied while home. Better to say that it was nearly impossible to leave the house and talk about the severity of the mental problem. Saying freedoms got to your head makes like of it.</p>
<p>I would take out memorizing from cover to cover, though. That is not what colleges want you to do.</p>
<h2>Thank you for your help! I made revisions and added some more info. Here’s what I have now.</h2>
<p>I am writing this letter to appeal my dismissal from the University and to continue my studies there. First and foremost I blame myself for my low GPA and subsequent dismissal from the University. I have identified and corrected the issues that caused my poor grades and have taken classes to show I can do the work needed. I have always been a very shy and reserved person and being away from my family I felt alone and isolated and developed an anxiety disorder within my freshman year. It soon became hard for me not only to leave my house but have simple conversations and even to seek help for my mood disorder. Instead it was much easier to stay at home and try to distract myself from my disorder. </p>
<p>January of 2011 I pushed myself and went to a therapist and officially got diagnosed with social anxiety. Throughout the year I met with therapists and psychiatrists who helped lessen the symptoms with medication and practical techniques. However, it is my mentor and friend whom I met at church helped me the most. Through his friendship and teachings I gained confidence in myself and I am much less anxious and more confident in public settings. Also, for the past year and a half I worked to support myself at CVS pharmacy. Working in retail helped increase my confidence in public settings and social setting with my colleagues. Through my job I also gained a newfound appreciation for education and what it means for me to have a college education under my belt. </p>
<p>I am truly thankful for my job because it helped me afford to pay for Howard Community College myself. I enrolled at Howard to prove to both the university and me that I am ready and capable of returning. The most important thing that I learned at community college was proper study habits. Every week throughout the semester I met with a tutor who taught me effective study methods and habits to form. I not only changed my study habits but my study area also. My desk is clean, neat and my room is free of distractions. I also moved in with fellow students whose motivation to do well have invigorated me also. The new atmosphere where I live and my tutor made it much easier to focus on studies. I studied for hours until I internalized the information within my textbooks. Also, I was never late and I only missed two days of classes when I was sick. Despite working part time at CVS and going to school I pushed myself to never miss any class. I even met with the professors when I needed help despite arriving at work late. Using my new skills I earned a 3.75 GPA while taking 12 credits. Two of the four classes I took at Howard were classes I failed in at the University. I am proud to say that I never earned less than a B on any of the assignments I was given. </p>
<p>I hope you reconsider my dismissal as it was for a different person than the one writing this letter. I now know that whatever is going on in life my studies should be first because it is my future. I am happier and more self-assured. Most importantly I matured into a better person and student and am finally achieving the grades that I know I can. The motivation that I showed at Howard Community College will follow me into the University. I will never miss a class just like at Howard. I will meet with my tutor weekly for study help. Finally, I will put my new study skills to use and internalize the information taught to me.</p>