College readmission personal statement, dismissal, help

Applying to College
1

Hi! I’m looking for some pointers with my readmission personal statement. I was very disappointed to learn of my dismissal and I’m hoping for a second chance. Any critiques or feedback is appreciated. If anyone knows any statistics or info about readmissions, like whether or not I even have chance of returning, that would be great. Also, I was wondering if I should apply for the same major as before or if I should change it.

These were the questions they wanted answers for in my personal statement:

What caused you to leave?

What have you been doing since you last attended?

What has changed now that will enable you to complete your course work?

If you plan to work during the academic semester, what impact will your work schedule have on your ability to enroll in the courses that need you to graduate?

Here is my response:

To whom it may concern,

I am writing to respectfully apply for readmission to XXXXX at XXXXX University for the 2018 spring semester. I matriculated in the fall of 2016 but was dismissed in the spring of 2017 for my inadequate academic performance. I understand that it was my own negligence that created the circumstances for my dismissal, and I have worked to regain my credibility.

Being accepted at XXXXX University was a dream come true; I arrived ready to learn and experience as much as I could. However, I found it difficult to adjust to life on my own as a college student. After I had just began to settle into my courses, a series of personal relationships ended and caused turmoil in my private life. I became depressed and lost all motivation. Confined to my room in self-imposed solitude, I began to miss classes and distance myself from the friends I had just made.

Reality hit me when my letter of dismissal came. Although I expected consequences, I was devastated when I finally understood the gravity of my situation. I realized that I had to pull myself together and seek help. I reached out to my parents, who expressed their disappointment but unfazed support, and my friends, who helped me resolve several issues that had been haunting me.

During this past year, I began my employment at XXXXX, where I reacquired my motivation and responsible work ethic through a company that I believed in. They challenged me to make hard decisions and accomplish tasks I never could have done before. I have also had time to reassess my goals. I realized that my education is most important and that XXXXX University is the best place for me fulfill my ambitions.

If I am readmitted, I will make sure that I am able to live up to the standards upon which I was accepted. Thanks to a flexible schedule, I can delegate most of my obligations from work to my secretary and coworkers, and my remaining workload can be taken care of easily from anywhere. I will also use office hours and TA sessions to their fullest extent to ensure my grades meet up to my expectations. I am now also capable of seeking help when I am having personal issues and I will take advantage of the student health center, the wellness exchange, and my support network when I realize something is wrong.

As a result of my dismissal, I have learned how much an education at XXXXX University means to me. I am confident that I can complete my studies and be a successful student.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,
XXXXX XXX

2

Are you going back to school as a FT student or PT? The letter is well written but the first question that came to my mind is that your job may interfere with your focus if readmitted. Although you will be delegating much of your workload you still seem to be employed FT. There are many distractions that come along with a job that can not be avoided. This sends a bit of a red flag up. This is just my personal take on the situation.

3

Something about this sentence does not sound right to me. It comes across like you are dumping your responsibilities on someone else.

I also find it hard to believe that you are in a position at the company after 1 year to be able to direct others workloads.

As for readmission statistics, I don’t know. Where I went, I think you just had to take off a year. As for your major, I don’t see anything that implies that it was difficulty in class work that caused your issues. You just have to make sure that you will be able to satisfy any graduation GPA requirement for the major if they exist.

4

I’m going back full time. Is it better to quit my job then? I would be willing to do that if it meant continuing my education. Thanks for the help!

5

I can’t answer that question. Do you need the job? How are you going to pay for school? The University is just trying to understand what your plan is if your are doing both school and work. Many people need a job when they try to return because they lost their financial aid. I am guessing that they see a lot of people start prioritizing their job over class work because they need the money. They fail again.

6

Fo ryour case, I am very worried about the job. When you say "my remaining workload can be taken care of easily from anywhere. " it makes me wonder how you will attend class? How many hours a week do you work? How can you attend classes during the day? What happens if work gets busy? Has work agreed to these conditions?

A successful appeal must do several things:

  1. show that you understand what went wrong
  2. show that you take responsibility for the academic failures
  3. show that you have a plan for future academic success
  4. in a broad sense, show that you are being honest with yourself and the committee

Here are some examples:

http://collegeapps.about.com/od/Academic-Dismissals/a/Sample-Appeal-Letter-For-An-Academic-Dismissal.htm

Some of this is general, and some specific to your situation.

  1. search this topic on CC and you will see many other posts on academic appeals
  2. Make sure your letter states what the issue was that caused you to have academic difficulties
  3. Did you talk to your professors/dean of students about the issue? Why not?
  4. Did you make use of the many resources your school has? if not, why not?
  5. Find out what those resources are…e.g. counseling center, talking to professors, talking to your adviser, withdrawing from class, talking to dean, maybe taking incompletes,
  6. State how you would use those in the future
  7. How are you addressing what caused the issue?
  8. Think about if you should continue at college, or take a break.
  9. Think about if you should continue at a community college,
  10. How is your college funded? Will that continue?

In general, keep in mind what the college wants…they want students who can succeed. They need to know that you understand what the issue was, know now the resources that you can use, how the problems is resolved so you will not have academic issues in the future.

7

So the main problem is with my job schedule? I don’t need the money to pay for school, but I do enjoy working there. I’ve already talked to my boss and they’re alright with me either lightening my workload over time or leaving if I can’t do both university and work. They said it was up to me. Here is my change:

If I am readmitted, I will make sure that I am able to live up to the standards upon which I was accepted. I am prepared to leave the company in order to fulfill my commitment to my studies, and my employer has agreed to lighten my obligations until I am ready to do so. I will also use office hours and TA sessions to their fullest extent to ensure my grades meet up to my expectations. I am now also capable of seeking help when I am having personal issues and I will take advantage of the student health center, the wellness exchange, and my support network when I realize something is wrong.

Again, thanks for the advice.