““My general opinion is that tt is up to each family to decide what is important to them and it is up to others to respect that decision.””
This kid seems very capable, but the Mom is actively pulling him back instead of encouraging him because being close is what they prioritize. It may be that Bowling Green is a great choice for him, but she said his strengths are math and science, and my impression is that BGU is more of a school for education and business majors, if I remember correctly.
I understand that it is important to respect the families wishes, but then I feel frustrated when I see others post that the system doesn’t give a fair chance to kids like this, and talk about how the data show that more educated/higher income families have every advantage. This family has every opportunity for their kid to attend a top 100 school and choose any major he wishes. The Mom says she will not even consider that option, if it is not very near their home.
I guess what I am thinking is that more-educated/higher-income parents may tend to put more priority on helping their kids find better, more challenging opportunities, and take advantage of them, but that is very different than saying that other kids never had a chance which seems to be a common claim.
For some, I think it is a combination of not knowing all that is out there, but also being ambivalent about it. I am on the west coast and recently visited the midwest - Nebraska, Iowa, Illinois, Missouri, mostly rural areas - where I crossed paths with a lot of college age students or families with recent graduates. Certainly a small sample, but still a totally different mindset. What I heard was staying close to their family was their priority. They had no interest in sending their kids far and possibly have them settle elsewhere, but neither did the kids. I think the parents know that if they don’t give them the opportunity to explore now, let’s face it, they are way more likely to stay close. And going abroad…not even within their comprehension. But these are teenagers and twenty somethings that happily participate in a Memorial Day march to put flowers on the graves at the local cemetery to honor family and other locals. That alone told me it is a way different way of life, but certainly kinda sweet in its own way. It was hard not to see them as limiting themselves in terms of choices and opportunities, but they just live in a different world than mine. I admired some of their simplicity.
Some people aren’t all about progress and growth as others define it. Not sure the kids ever realize or believe they are missing anything - you don’t know what you don’t know. So the boy the OP is talking about can come home anytime, see his siblings, help his parents at a moment’s notice, and be around for Sunday dinners - it’s not what others would choose, but it’s not all bad - it’s the life they want.
And @thumper1 agree about the athlete comment - I have a D1 athlete who was hardly home for high school, so sending him away to college was a breeze.
As a side note, I enjoyed the comment from our Nebraska relative to be careful driving and watch for police since I had a California license plate, and everyone knows most of those cars are carrying drugs. lol.
While it may be true that it is not necessarily the case for this student, it may be the case that the college expectations up to now mostly revolved around the local schools, based on previous family and community history. That this particular student may be performing above the usual expectations and thus may have more potential affordable college choices that may be further away may have been something that the parent has not thought about before.
I think each family has certain criteria for picking a university. You have alot more choices if merit aid is part of the equation. With no merit aid the options are reduced unless you have the financial means. We live in Texas and advised our son he had to go to a in-state public university within a 6hr drive from home. Texas is large but only the schools in far southwest Texas were eliminated (UTEP). He choose a school 4hrs from home which work out perfectly. Each family has parameters they have to work from. Some include the entire country while others are limited to 1hr commutes from home.
A smaller private university in the area that is regionally ranked is Ohio Northern University. I admit that it is pretty much in the middle of no where but he would likely get fairly good scholarships with his ACT and grades. If he were going to maybe interested in engineering at some point since his Math and Science scores are high then I would recommend the University of Toledo. Bowling Green does not have engineering and ONU has only mechanical and civil if I am correct. Miami is expensive and he would be competing against a lot of OOS students for merit money.
Ohio is blessed with 13 public universities all of which provide a good education to students of the state. It also has a lot of private universities. Here is some information.
Each of Ohio’s universities and colleges have their strengths. While few may rival the national top tier in prestige they are all worth considering for their inherent strengths.
@ucbalumnus “That this particular student may be performing above the usual expectations and thus may have more potential affordable college choices that may be further away may have been something that the parent has not thought about before.”
Now that you mention it, I think that is very possible since Case Western Reserve is maybe 2 1/2 hours away from them and she had never heard of it. She was definitely not well versed on top colleges even in her home state.
Perhaps I was introducing a thought that is new and may take some time to digest. Maybe they will reconsider and decide to at least visit a few more schools, as she speaks with the high school GC, and other parents of students with similar profiles. I hope you are correct.
An hour’s drive is not commuting distance. I would encourage looking at those Ohio schools within a few hours drive- close enough for a to/from trip in a short day. They need to know that even 10 miles is a world away for students. Remind them that the caliber of school justifies a somewhat longer drive. You can tell them that at those schools you list are likely to have other students from their area so they won’t need to do transportation duties every time he chooses to visit for the weekend. Reality will set in once he is gone and a few months pass- the trips home will decrease from whatever driving distance. Time to get him to discuss his likely options with his HS guidance counselor. S/he can point out to the parents how much better a school with more students of his caliber will be for him.
If the student is within an hour of BG, it is likely he is an hour or two from Toledo, Tiffen, Findlay, Ohio Northern, Heidelburg, Ashland, and Oberlin, a couple of which are really good schools even if they suffer from not being on the coasts. Probably not that far from OSU and UM as well.
And @cadreamin, it is not just us midwesterners who have a somewhat provincial, narrow geographic focus. A simple perusal of the boards here and it is often very easy to tell the location of the OP simply by the relentless fixation on UCs or NESCAC schools. Some of us also find particular coastal traditions to be sort of “limiting” in their own way. I bet it would be kinda hard to explain to some twenty somethings in Lincoln, Nebraska how much they are missing by not living in a shipping container in San Francisco as an example.
Shades of the classic CC conversation about how could a kid from Boston EVER make his way to Carleton in Northfield, MN? A bunch of affluent, well traveled parents who somehow didn’t realize that there were these things called airplanes that flew between Boston and Minneapolis. Sometimes several times a day, go figure! Of course, they knew airplanes went to San Francisco (Stanford) but that was different.
“Do you think that is because some parents don’t know that school choice matters, or because they just don’t care? Maybe some of each? Idk.”
For the ambitions of a lot of people, school choice doesn’t really matter (as long as it’s affordable and has a desired major). if you want to be a preschool teacher or an insurance adjuster, what difference does it make?
In my case, my parents allowed me to apply anywhere within the continental US; the criteria of remaining on the East Coast was self-imposed. Being from New Jersey, I mostly wanted to remain in the Northeast, but applied to one school each in North Carolina and Florida just to see what would happen if I thought outside the box a little bit. I wound up getting admitted into six schools in as many states, but chose to attend the NC public to see a different region of the country and explore a new state that I had never seen before. The FL private, despite having offered generous FA, ended up being a bit too far for my taste. Although my family would have preferred me to attend school in CT or NY (and pushed really hard for it), 500 miles is the perfect distance between school and home for me.
Different strokes for different folks. I know a lot of people at my school who couldn’t go OOS because their parents couldn’t afford it, or they themselves just didn’t want to leave their home state. If you grew up in a state with fantastic public universities like NC or OH, then the former scenario becomes a bit easier to swallow.
Is the kid going to commute or are the parents expecting to pay for R&B? If the latter I’d want to expand my search somewhat, but if the former, it is what it is.
OHMomof2 “Is the kid going to commute or are the parents expecting to pay for R&B? If the latter I’d want to expand my search somewhat, but if the former, it is what it is.”
Will live at school, but she wants him home often.
I used to get all worked up over how my kids’ classmates were so provincial that Illinois was the only state in the union but I gained a lot of peace when I realized not my circus, not my monkeys.
I don’t see how living at home and off campus allows you to grow. Several colleges during presentations not only mention mandatory live on campus freshman year, but highly suggested leaving cars behind. Reasoning it forces you to engage in the University, eliminates that weak moment of home sickness, and you learn how to be socially open to help and rely on others. College is 2 part, education and social skills
@pizzagirl “I used to get all worked up over how my kids’ classmates were so provincial that Illinois was the only state in the union”
I will say that Illinois is much better about that than Michigan where I grew up. A huge percent of students in Illinois level the state for college. In Michigan, almost everyone stayed in the state.
