College selection and proximity?

Parent Cafe
1

A Mom from Ohio tells me her son is a rising Senior in high school, has a 31 ACT (higher in Math and Science) and a “very high” gpa, no idea what he wants to major in, and wants to stay in Ohio and not spend a lot of money. She asked me what colleges I would consider. I suggested starting with Ohio State, Miami of Ohio, or possibly Case Western Reserve would seem to align with what she has said so far. I added that getting his ACT up to a 32 would give him more low-cost/merit scholarship options, but suggested running NPCs and looking at schools with a wide range of majors.

She said that those colleges won’t work because that is too far for her son to be away from their family. She said they want him to stay within an hour of home, and that she may just send him to Bowling Green because it is the close. In her choice of words, she was intermixing what the son wants and what she wants.

My question is, how common this is for a parent to be so focused on proximity as the key factor that they will not even consider in-state options that are a couple of hours away?

I don’t know this kid and Bowling Green may be the best choice, especially if it is free, but I would think that it would be worth at least considering other in-state options.

2

We had a geographic criteria. Kids either needed to go within a 3 hour drive of our house, OR within one hour of a close friend or relative.

I’m from Ohio. Almost anywhere you live in Ohio, you are going to be able to fulfill this criteria with multiple colleges. Of they live in Toledo, for example, Case is under 3 hours. So is OSU. So is Kent. So is University of Toledo.

Miami would be a little farther…but it’s not on the moon!

Does this family want the kid to ride his bike to college? If not, and they want him to be “close” there are plenty of other choices that are not over a couple of hours drive away.

Why do the need him so close?

3

Some people do want their kids to stay close. Many want them to live at home. I only think it is strange that the mother, knowing this, would tell you all the stats and ask you what school was best, knowing all along that he was going to the closest school.

I grew up in a town with a college. Of my classmates who went to college, probably 1/2 went to this school and lived at home. We didn’t think it was unusual or restrictive at all. Many of the students who went to other state colleges took classes at this university in the summer or for a semester to save a little money by living at home.

4

I’m getting out on my own and creating my own identity. Love my parents, but ready to grow and search the world out. I know this will come with bumps and bruises, but the growth will out weigh that ten fold.

Only commitment and responsibility is to myself so why do I want to be shelter. This not a spoil comment, rather do me now and because some day I’ll have a family of my own.

Only agreements with my parents is attend church and skype weekly.

5

I bet proximity to home is a key criteria for the majority of hs seniors. Lots of families don’t really care about exploring other parts of the country like we on CC do.

6

It’s also possible that there is a financial consideration. Room and board costs can really boost that cost of sending s kiddo to college.

7

I can understand their concerns if he might not have high enough stats to get significant merit, but there would be extra cost of $10k or more for living on campus away from home.

That’s why a lot of students in our state communte from home. Because tuition, room and board would be at least $20k even at a state school.

I think OSU gives more merit to OOS students. I am not sure how much merit U Miami or Ohio U give for Act 31.
Case Western is pretty pricey as well.

If the student was close to Kent State, U Akron, maybe they could get merit there.

8

Commuting from home generally does have a cost advantage, but it does not rule out the possibility of a further away school being less expensive due to scholarships and financial aid differences.

9

@Much2learn do you play a sport? My kids all play competitive sports, but I doubt any will continue with them beyond maybe intermurals in college. However chatting with the other sports parents in my circle of friends it seems they are pretty set on their kids staying within a day’s drive from home. Honestly I think it’s so they can continue to go support their kids at games and such. I’m pretty sure the kids really don’t care if mom can cheer them on at the games…more about the parents happiness than the kids I think.

10

My general opinion is that tt is up to each family to decide what is important to them and it is up to others to respect that decision.

In our house each kid was different.
–My S didn’t want to go too far away so we respected his feelings and focused on schools in a few hours drive. By the time grad school rolled around, he was fine going halfway across the country.

–My D was open to going anywhere for undergrad. H and I told her that if she wanted to fly to college she had to explain to us why that school was superior to one we could drive to before we undertook the additional expense. She ended up falling in love with schools that were within driving distance.

11

“My general opinion is that tt is up to each family to decide what is important to them and it is up to others to respect that decision.”

Absolutely. My D has many friends and classmates whose parents want them to stay close to home. UW (Washington) is a great school and even some of the top kids in highly regarded high schools choose to go there. She has other friends who have gone across the country without restrictions, and who are doing fine. It’s up to the students and their parents.

12

I would love to have my kids stay in the area and we have two universities and a community college in town, plus some other great schools within an hour’s drive. On the other hand, it’s a “nice” and not a “necessity” – cost and curriculum are driving decisions for both kids. That’s why D1 is 12 hours away and the closest school on D2’s list is an 8-hour drive. Oh, well…

13

Both my kids played sports in college (one at club level, the other D2) and they very much want me at their games. I like to go too, but both like me to come when I can and if I can’t to stream the game and then talk about it afterward. I don’t think it is an unreasonable desire to have those kids close so you can attend their college events. My daughter’s roommate is a dance major and her mother stayed nearby when she had a several night performance.

Just because our kids are no longer in high school doesn’t mean we don’t want to see them play, to attend their shows, to bring them chicken soup when they are sick. Having them closer makes that easier.

14

Once again, I’m a jealous that there are so many parts of the country where you could say “anywhere within 3 hours” and still have lots of choices. Three hours doesn’t get you much in AZ except for the in-state unis and GCU.

15

There are large swaths of Texas where the number of 4-year colleges within a three hour drive radius is zero.

There are not-quite-so-large swaths where not even a community college is within that radius.

16

@thumper1 “Why do they need him so close?”

She said that everyone in their family has stayed in Ohio, and that he is very close to his younger brother. This son is the oldest of two. I had the impression that she is having some trouble (like most of us) dealing with her kids growing up.

“Miami would be a little farther…but it’s not on the moon!”

Or is it? lol

@twoinanddone “I only think it is strange that the mother, knowing this, would tell you all the stats and ask you what school was best, knowing all along that he was going to the closest school.”

Well. I thought so too. I get the sense that she is internally conflicted about it. Maybe hoping for support for her view, but also wanting to know the best answer? She also mentioned that she is concerned about recently reading about only 1/2 of college students finding jobs that require her degree. I doubt that Bowling Green has much better stats than that.

@Pizzgirl “I bet proximity to home is a key criteria for the majority of hs seniors. Lots of families don’t really care about exploring other parts of the country like we on CC do.”

That is what I am thinking. I am not sure about the majority, but maybe cc:ers are still the outliers in thinking that it is worth going further to get a broader experience and perhaps a school that is a better fit is worthwhile. To me, helping the kids find the best opportunities for them is a priority, and we visited all manner of schools.

Do you think that is because some parents don’t know that school choice matters, or because they just don’t care? Maybe some of each? Idk.

If Bowling Green is very close they must live in North West Ohio. I did think that a 31 ACT with potential the improve by a point or two seems like a bit of an outlier at a school where the 75th percentile student has a 25, but perhaps the student likes to standout?

@stlarenas “Do you play a sport?”

Our three are good athletes, but we prioritize academics first. The first two were recruited DIII. One can play DI, but would not get a scholarship. Both decided to play club sports at a DI school that fit them better. In some ways athletes have spent time away from home with camps and travel events so they have more experience being away from family.

17

Perhaps it may be that, for most students, the financially realistic choices mostly revolve around commuting to a local community college or state university. Remember, most students do not have the academic or other credentials to get into the schools with the best financial aid, or earn the big merit scholarships that the typical middle income family needs to afford the student’s college. Perhaps the student in question with the “very high” GPA and 31 ACT was a surprise on the high end of academic expectations in the family and social group, so “going away” to college (perhaps on good scholarships or financial aid) was not really on the radar before.

18

@Ucbalumnus “Perhaps it may be that, for most students, the financially realistic choices mostly revolve around commuting to a local community college or state university.”

Possibly, but not in this case. I told her that with a 32 or higher, they may get a better financial deal further away, and she said they would not do that.

I also told that if they have a lower income level, some private schools could be less expensive than publics. She wondered whether she could find one within 45 minutes of home.

19

To answer your question OP, the mother sounds a bit helicopter-y to me. If she will only allow him to venture a one hour radius from home, a simple search on Google would be my best advice. I don’t share her mindset, but her money her rules.

20

Really? I looked at a map of Texas universities. If I used “200 miles” as a proxy for “three hour drive,” I don’t think there was anyplace. If I used “150 miles,” maybe there were a couple of patches, but nothing like “swaths.” And I was only looking at four-year public universities (not that adding four-year privates would likely change anything).

You may not love Sul Ross State, West Texas A&M, Angelo State, TAMIU, or UTPB, but they put a four-year public university within a few hours’ drive of just about everyone.