Colleges for Beautiful Gay Conservatives

College Search & Selection
1

<p>Hi guys, I'm a student at an elite college and went through the college search/admissions process not too long ago. I know how difficult it can be if you have very specific things you're looking for in a college, so here I am now to share my process with you. </p>

<p>Just to tell you a little bit about myself, I'm a very politically active student, a conservative at heart but liberal in my actions. I'm also "gay," albeit discreet by nature, and naturally beautiful by most people's standards. As much as I try to hide by identity (which I have no problem with), people seem to constantly be creating problems over it, so it was very important that I find the right fit because my beliefs and outlook on life become known eventually.</p>

<p>As I said, I aim to be liberal even though I'm a conservative at heart. I have a good grasp of structural inequality and how it negatively impacts the lives of those in poverty. At the same time, I'm a strong advocate of personal responsibility. I don't like it when people make excuses for their shortcomings or why they couldn't work harder in school, even as I understand why, overall, it might be harder for them to succeed. It's not okay to join gangs, do drugs, get pregnant or get others pregnant just because you're immersed in a depressed social/economic environment. Every individual possesses the agency and the power to take control. While I understand circumstances limit people's agency, they should nevertheless never make excuses to stop trying. I'm a strong advocate of social programs that would help those in poverty achieve better opportunities and a better life. I do believe social uplift is ultimately possible. As an example, look at the poor in Asia who, despite their circumstances, consistently excel academically or at the very least have extremely low levels of crime, provided there is adequate government support.</p>

<p>I'm gay, but I never liked to associate with the subset of gays who are preoccupied with material interests. I generally am not fond of people who classify themselves as liberals/advocates of social justice but then turn around and support the very same structures that perpetuate social inequality through their consumer choices. I see the strongest evidence of this hypocrisy in liberal arts colleges that attracts wealthy students and low-income students who want to be part of that culture. I wanted a college where a gay person can freely transcend the traditional identities associated with gayness. </p>

<p>Ironically, the more conservative (but not too conservative) institutions are more liberating in this sense. Because students at these institutions are more reserved about their identities, there is less expression of what's acceptable. If people wear normal everyday clothes despite the tremendous diversity beneath those clothes, the effect is that no one "way of being" becomes privileged over another. Conversely, in some very liberal campuses, because people are so overt physically/materially in their self-expressions, it's easier to be reminded if one doesn't in. Diversity is stifled because the norms are overwhelmingly in favor of one way of being that is overtly expressed.</p>

<p>Finally, I'm not going to be so fake-modest as to downplay the fact that I'm naturally beautiful (my face as well as my body). However, I don't like to show off, so I don't wear tight clothing or wear unnecessary accessories. I'm not stylish and have chosen to be that way by choice (an unintended consequence is that I actually get MORE attention this way because people would then focus more on ME than my clothing). I do tend to notice a difference in how strangers treat me as opposed to how they treat my friends. I have seen all kinds of reactions, including people being hostile, stiffening their gait, glaring, frowning, etc. I especially don't like when people hate me MORE if I say something really intelligent in class. Because I'm discreet about my sexuality (and that's naturally how I am and how I want it to be), I get hostile reactions from BOTH sexes. Gay people are the worse offenders. There is one exception though: white men tend to be VERY nice to me. I love that :)</p>

<p>Anyway, if you're still reading up to this point, below are the colleges I ultimately found most appealing. Caution: I tend to prefer colleges near cities because I wanted a dating scene full of successful, more mature professionals.</p>

<p>Harvard- LOVED tremendous diversity without being "in-your-face" about it; people embrace the fact that people can be extremely good-looking and extremely intelligent at the same time. </p>

<p>Princeton- LOVED, same as Harvard.</p>

<p>Columbia- tremendous diversity; more "in-your-face" than Harvard but downplayed to an acceptable degree and carried with an intelligent demeanor.</p>

<p>Dartmouth- same as Harvard, except guys in the fraternity were a little too happy with me. Did not feel second-class for being good-looking...to the contrary, I got special treatment (which I didn't like either). </p>

<p>Duke- LOVED, same as Harvard but a little more nouveau riche/materialistic in feel. Perfectly acceptable to be extremely good-looking and extremely intelligent.</p>

<p>Northwestern- LOVED- same as Harvard but more casual and down-to-earth in a genuine way. Perfectly acceptable to be extremely good-looking and extremely intelligent.</p>

<p>Enrolled at one of the above.</p>

<p>My impressions of the other top 20:
Yale- OK but too overtly artsy which was not my cup of tea
Caltech- Not my thing
MIT- Not my thing
Stanford- People are a little bit too happy to the point of sacrificing their intelligent demeanor (I don't think this is on purpose either); nouveau-riche and materialistic in feel; special snowflake syndrome
University of Chicago- I felt like a second-class citizen for being good-looking. Nerdy and overtly quirky. Not really more intellectually stimulating than any other top school I visited, which was what I was expecting coming in.
Penn- Nouveau-riche and materialistic
Johns Hopkins- Did not consider/visit
WashU- Did not consider/visit
Brown- special snowflake syndrome
Cornell- Did not consider/visit
Rice- Did not consider/visit
Vanderbilt- Did not consider/visit
Notre Dame- Did not consider/visit
Emory- Nouveau-riche but I liked some aspects of it...reminded me of Duke in some ways.</p>

<p>There you go. If you have any questions, feel free to ask!</p>

2

<p>Well, I have a question. Mainly, what are you talking about? Things which I can not comprehend:</p>

<ul>
<li>You’re a conservative who tries to be liberal? So you believe in conservative values, but act oppositely? I don’t understand what you mean here.</li>
<li>I don’t believe that it’s as simple as “if you work hard, then you get what you want,” but I don’t think this is the point of your post (or is it?)</li>
<li>You found that conservative colleges are more liberating because everyone dresses the same, and therefore everyone fits in? Isn’t the point of liberation being able to do what you want (dress, actions, being true to yourself) without worry of “fitting in?”</li>
<li>And finally you feel discriminated against for having god-like body and intellect? Have you maybe considered that people aren’t disliking you because you’re beautiful or extremely intelligent, but maybe because you come off a little egotistical and full of himself?</li>
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3

<p>Wow that’s a very long post and I have to admit I didn’t read the whole thing…but I have to say I like your style! Your description of Brown and Stanford as “special snowflake syndrome” made me chuckle. Why did you consider Dartmouth if you wanted to be near a city? What advice would you give to someone who went through a similar thing as you did as to how to stay calm during the long months between January and March-April?</p>

4

<p>Most of those points are too intangible to be of any use. Your judgments on universities are superficial and obviously very subjective to the point that, again, it’s of little use to anyone who isn’t you. You also are commenting on a small portion of the colleges, so I don’t know why you bothered with the rest of the top 20. I don’t understand how one can be “conservative at heart but liberal in [one’s] actions,” or how “too happy to the point of sacrificing their intelligent demeanor” could make sense (what, they seem ditzy because they’re happy? Do they need to sulk and brood to impress you?). Making a judgment on an entire student body based on your extremely limited experience shows how little you know (it almost never makes sense to make a personal quality judgment over an entire student body, given how varied the students are). Throwing around phrases like “nouveau riche/materialistic” only reinforces that conclusion. I also think it’s funny that you believe “social uplift is ultimately possible” yet disdain colleges for being “nouveau riche” (which indicates upward mobility, i.e. becoming a self-made rich person after being part of a lower socioeconomic bracket). </p>

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<p>I hope you don’t think you’re “transcending traditional identities associated with gayness” with statements like that.</p>

<p>Why one’s looks has anything to do with this topic, I don’t know.</p>

5

<p>This guy has got to be a ■■■■■.</p>

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<p>^ I thought so too, but the post is pretty long, and I’ve seen this type of “narcissistic diva” in gay men before.</p>

7

<p>I don’t think how you look has anything to do with being a “gay conservative”. </p>

<p>I also don’t think how you look plays any role in what makes a college more or less appealing. In fact, I’m under the impression that saying that you’re “good looking” while trying to give an indicator of what colleges are good for, comes off as shallow.</p>

8

<p>Phantasmagoric, </p>

<p>I, as a gay male, find your comment to be pretty offensive. You say that as though it only applies to gay males, but that’s clearly not the case.</p>

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<p>^yeah phantasmagoric. Narcissistic divas can have any gender and orientation, not just us gay males :(</p>

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<p>lol Phantasmagoric, no need to get so worked up just because he insulted Stanford. You shouldn’t let your “special snowflake syndrome” get the best of you :smiley: (See, nobody likes stereotypes.)</p>

11

<p>NYU2013 and RyanMK, I’m a gay male as well. I lived in the SF Bay Area for a few years and unsurprisingly have seen many, many “narcissistic diva” types. (There was even a meme going around classifying the many “types” of gay men, and surprise, “diva” was one of them.) Any gay guy who has engaged in a large gay community sees that type more often than he’s willing to admit.</p>

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<p>I’m not worked up (that’s just how I talk/am - IIRC you’ve been on the receiving end of my caustic remarks before). You’ll also notice I usually don’t bother commenting when a poster bashes Stanford. This kid was just annoying and pretentious.</p>

12

<p>+1 to everything phantasmagoric has said. I really hope the OP did not choose Duke. (Admittedly, I think he means well. I just vehemently disagree with a lot of his points.)</p>

13

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I’m a conservative at heart (in my instincts). I want people to take responsibility for their decisions and actions. However, at the same time, I believe there should be a safety net (welfare system) and a way for people to achieve social mobility, given that hard work and merit are sometimes not enough to make it and people can easily fall through the cracks. Supporting social measures doesn’t negate my belief in personal responsibility, however. The two can coexist. For example, while I support welfare for young unemployed mothers, I teens should be responsible enough to know NOT to reproduce when they cannot provide their children adequate financial and emotional support. We don’t (I hope) adopt pets we can’t take care of, so we shouldn’t do it for kids either, right? However, because many of the kids have already been born, the government should in fact subsidize their care while providing the mothers proper job opportunities.</p>

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But if there is one way of being that is OVERTLY expressed, non-mainstream ways face resistance and have the potential to be marginalized. If everybody dresses in the same regular clothing (tshirts/polos/jeans/khakis), there is more incentive to get to know people on a deeper level beyond what their outer appearances might suggest.</p>

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Like I said, it’s only in certain schools that I felt like a second-class citizen. Students in some of the schools welcomed me with open arms. It’s not my identity/character/personality that’s the problem; it’s some people’s reaction to it.</p>

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<p>Because of some ties I have with Dartmouth + their business school :slight_smile: To stay calm from now until April, I suggest focusing on school wholeheartedly and try to forget these impending decisions. I know that’s easier said than done, but it’s definitely doable.</p>

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<p>I suppose it’s because they’re not used to interacting with people who are just so intellectual and beautiful at the same time. Their fault, not yours.</p>

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<p>Did you read the rest of my post? The very identity I was criticizing is the “narcissistic diva” you speak of. Look-- I don’t dress stylishly or call attention to myself in any special way. That is precisely what I criticized about some schools. I aim to disavow structures of inequality in my daily choices. I’m also not about to pretend I’m not good-looking…that is just fake modesty and is superficial.</p>

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Why? I never claimed beauty was limited to gay guys. It is evenly distributed across many sexual orientations and identity groups.</p>

<p>Being beautiful has nothing to do with being gay or conservative. I just happened to be all 3 and was aiming to help out students who also happened to embody these traits. I recognize that there is a full range of diversity among beautiful gay conservatives, but they will more likely than not face many of the same dilemmas I faced.</p>

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<p>And then you have a long description of your looks, how you feel when people look at you (ever thought it might be all in your head?), etc. while not-so-subtly parading your ‘intellectualism.’ Really, it’s like you didn’t even hear the words in your head as you wrote them.</p>

<p>I do find it funny that you state that “gay people are the worse offenders” in terms of hostile reactions, and you’ve had at least 3 gay guys call you out shortly after posting this. The difference? We haven’t seen you, only the window into your personality, and we seemed to have joined those “offenders.” Do you see a pattern emerging?</p>

<p>edit:</p>

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<p>Oh this is awesome.</p>

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<p>The thing is, this entire post comes across as an excuse to boast about your superior beauty and intelligence (whether or not you meant it this way). You come across as very arrogant and a braggart (and yes, a narcissistic diva) and it’s so off putting, that I can understand why people may not like you. We’re not asking you to have fake modesty, but some authentic modesty would be a pleasant change.</p>

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<p>Please, don’t act like people out there don’t get jealous of successful/beautiful people. I fully recognize when people are being nice to me (such as the people at Harvard) and when they’re not (people at UChicago and Stanford). Now, if it’s really my personality that’s the problem, why are people at Harvard, Princeton, Columbia, Dartmouth, Duke, and Northwestern SO NICE (including gay people) to me whereas those at Stanford and UChicago are NOT? You see how your hypothesis falls apart when considering this. Maybe students at the latter have a chip on their shoulder :)</p>