Colleges your child crossed off the list after visiting, schools that moved up on the list. Why?

Parents Forum
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I am with you @happy1 . If we weren’t in easy proximity to a lot of top colleges, we wouldn’t have visited. Having said that, I will not be taking S to visit a bunch of reach schools first thing. Learned my lesson with D. Although it’s ironic that the school she will be attending is one that wasn’t visited until after acceptance. It is a very selective college, and she expressed interest in other ways.

S will be visiting mostly match and safety schools, and a couple of reaches. I doubt there will be any plane journeys involved, unless there are several colleges near each other. Any parents that think they must visit a college in order to express interest and be accepted, that is not true. There are rumors that certain colleges almost insist on a visit, but it is unreasonable to expect a kids to buy plane tickets to visit places they may not get into, especially when they live far away. WUSTL and Bates are allegedly two colleges that want a visit, but I have seen plenty of accepted kids on this forum and elsewhere who have got into those schools without visiting. It is however in a student’s best interest to visit if possible. Emphasis on the word possible.

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In regards to showing interest, I’ve noticed that more schools are offering real time online discussions for students to log on and ask questions about the school and learn more about the school’s offerings. This seems like a great to way to express interest when you can’t visit a place far away, and also as a way for a student to get a better feel for a place without their parents around or being surrounded by a bunch of other kids. I’ve seen my son get 2 requests from colleges for him to sign up to one of these in the last few weeks. Good idea.

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I don’t follow the logic at all that it is presumptuous to eliminate any school you probably won’t be accepted to. Why? Are you saying you should automatically love a school just because it is highly selective? As you note, unless you have a massive hook (celebrity, first daughter, kid of someone a Hall there is named after, related to faculty, etc.), how can anyone count on being accepted to HYPS? And yet every year thousands of kids are, the vast majority of which didn’t have these uber-hooks. There are plenty of kids with stellar GPA’s, test scores, ECs, etc. who every reason to apply to these schools even if they know they can’t count on getting in. And there is every reason for them to tour and decide if they actually want to, and plenty of reasons they might not want to. If their priority is to get into HYPS just because of it’s name, by all means apply blindly and go if accepted. But there are plenty of others who might have a shot at Harvard but prefer a smaller rural, top LAC.

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I posted very early in the thread when it was a lot less detailed. I’ll add schools since some of these have not appeared yet on the thread.

Moved Up:

University of Redlands. They had him at Bulldog. While waiting in the reception room for the tour, two bulldogs ran in to greet everyone. These school mascots were accompanied by the student tour guides, who walked from family to family introducing themselves. One of the (cute) girls complimented my S on his haircut, another on his shirt. Oh my. The lovely campus just added to the overall favorable impression.

Cal Maritime: When the tour guide mentioned that a group of students were restoring a ‘57 Chevy for fun, that was a huge selling point for my S, along with the boats that are available for students to take out for fun on the SF Bay. Add in touring the 500’ ship that students use for summer training voyages around the world…what a way to dazzle a kid looking for something non-traditional.

Stayed The Same:

University of the Pacific: Great tour, met with department chair in intended major, stunning campus that has been the location for several films and has a very red-brick and ivy New England look. Downside is location in Stockton.

Moved Down:

St. Mary’s College of CA: When one of our two very preppy looking tour guides began his introduction by describing himself as a member of the campus Young Republicans Club I knew it would be trouble for my S. He thought it seemed too small, conservative and isolated. One of the most beautiful campuses I’ve ever seen.

Sonoma State: Although many people think the campus is pretty, my S did not. He thought the buildings looked like prisons - and then the tour guide mentioned that some buildings had indeed been designed by the architect of many California prisons. Did not appreciate the “Sonoma aroma” wafting by from nearby farms/vineyards.

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Personally, I think it is really important to visit some reach schools, especially in light of the percentages of classes getting filled in the ED rounds. If the kid has the chops academically, even without any substantial hook it appears the best shot at getting in to most reach schools is in the Ed round(s) not sure how you would utilize that without at least visiting schools first.

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Our goal will be to end up with a list of schools where our son could definitely see himself. If he doesn’t feel like the school is a fit, it won’t be on the list. I really think that means he has to visit. We’re in a little bit of a specific situation because we have the money to pay full tuition but feel strongly that he can find a great place without having to pay $70K per year. My husband and I both graduated from the same very selective university and it would probably be a good match for our son, but we won’t have him apply since I ran the cost calculator and we would pay full freight…and they don’t offer any merit.

It’s actually kind of nice to limit ourselves in this way. No Ivies, no super-selective LACs will be on the list. He won’t have that many reaches because most of those schools would require us paying full price.

Our son is only a freshman but is a strong test taker (has taken ACT and SAT through NUMATS many times already) and has great grades. So, we focus on out of state schools where he may fit in the honors program or LACs that give merit for strong applicants. Only visiting will help us decide on the types of schools/programs he likes best.

Can’t wait for the visits to start. This link is so helpful!!

507

I think visiting a mix of reach, match and likely schools is ideal if possible. I did all types with my kids.

508

That Yale video is just laughably horrid. =)) I found myself double checking in the first minute or two that I wasn’t watching the parody. The video probably single handedly limits some diversity on campus with those it turns off.

509

Visit as many schools as is reasonable early in the process that are convenient to you. However, don’t expend a great amount of money and time visiting a reach college that is far way, until after you are accepted. My son visited all of his other colleges early in the process, but didn’t visit his reach college, which was farther away, until after he was accepted. If you can only make one visit to a college, it is best to do it for an accepted student day when the day will be more productive than a regular admissions tour with the masses.

Also, be wary of having a student fall in love with a reach college during a visit, and then being very disappointed when they are not admitted.

Try to save vacation time for accepted student days in March or April, and try to find out the dates of those days as early as possible.

While some colleges keep track of applicant interest, including registered trips to the college, others do not. If you live far away, most colleges won’t expect you to have made an early visit.

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Oldfashioned1, by crossing off I presume they mean they will not take the time or expense to bother to apply rather then assuming admission, unless one is going to apply to every low acceptance rate school which we all agree is bad. Also I think it’s healthy to cross an elite college off ones list. With all the rejection and disappointment it is good and empowering to feel some elite school is not good enough for you rather than having these schools dictate that you are not good enough for them.
Last year for my daughter the college that fell completely off her list after a visit was Wellesley. She had such a negative reaction to that school that she did not stay for the interview. In fact the reaction was so overwhelmingly negative that not only did it completely knock Wellesley off her list but the whole state of Connecticut and any college therein. It was some gut feeling of not belonging I guess.

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@homerdog, I wasn’t clear from your last post. Were you saying you were ruling out most reaches, ivies, LAC’s because you think they would make you pay full-price but others would not? If by that you mean you are counting on non-financial-based merit scholarships that may be true. Many of the selective schools have phased out most and often all of their merit-based scholarships. But at the same time they have enhanced their financial-based aid and many now meet 100% of the aid level required based on financial circumstances, far more aid in many cases than less selective schools.

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All of this is great information. Does anyone else have a list of colleges that moved up, stayed the same, or were removed from your list?

Always entertaining!

513

" the reaction was so overwhelmingly negative that not only did it completely knock Wellesley off her list but the whole state of Connecticut and any college therein" Did you mean Massachusetts or Wesleyan?

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My older DD toured a few schools - Loyola New Orleans, Tulane, Mizzou, Truman State, Duke. It was many years ago, so I won’t elaborate, as they may have changed dramatically, but, for her, personal attention was the key. She was very high stats and still decided on Truman State (after narrowing it down to Truman or Tulane). She had many scholarships from a variety of schools on the table, but she liked the small school feel.

Our DS wanted only Big State U with good sports programs. He was recruited athletically by small schools, but wanted none of it. He wanted a team to root for, not to play for.

Moved Up -

University of Minnesota. He loved everything about it. The urban school that still had the big state campus was a special draw. The tour guide was fine. The presentation was canned. We ate in the dining hall and this was below average and the only drawback for him. I was leery, as there was some emphasis on “weeding out” kids in engineering early. While we all know that happens, and DS did eventually switch away from engineering (but wasn’t “weeded out”), I dislike educational programs that take pride in NOT successfully educating capable students. DS also wanted cold weather and certainly Minnesota has that! Dinkytown was also a lot of fun.

University of Alabama - DS got special treatment from the original recruiting event in town all the way to personalized tours, meet and greets with professors, etc. or so I thought. Turns out Alabama rolls out the carpet for every potential student, especially those looking at their honors college. Their dorms are a big draw - many are suite style with private rooms sharing a living area and a kitchenette. The students were welcoming and there is an emphasis on involvement and service that he didn’t find at any other Big State U. and he came from both grade school and high school that emphasized service and social justice. The campus is gorgeous, as well. The Strip has a selection of restaurants and shops that were appealing. Y’all know about the sports scene, I’m sure!

Stayed the Same -

Purdue University. DS grew up going to Purdue, as a double legacy. We had the BEST TOUR GUIDE EVER here - the band’s drum major. He was extremely personable, everyone on campus knew him, and he was remarkably skilled at walking backwards. The dorms were average. The campus is lovely. The food is excellent!! It was great when we attended and even better now. You could even get prime rib (for TWO meal swipes)! The presentation was not all that exciting. No professors available to talk with, although we did meet with an assistant dean, who seemed accommodating.

Moved down -

Mizzou. In fairness, this is our state school and DS didn’t want to go here because “everyone else does.” The tour was long and boring. The student tour guide was fine, but not great. The food was average. We did get to visit the observatory, which was interesting. The engineering facilities were sub-par. Again to be fair, Missouri has an excellent engineering school in Missouri University of Science and Technology (Rolla) but that school does not have the Big State U feel and certainly isn’t known for its sports teams and school rah-rah spirit. The dorms at Mizzou were poor-to-fair. The campus is attractive. There was nothing terribly wrong with Mizzou, but it was all very pedestrian. Shakespeare’s is a favorite of DS, however.

Ohio State - way too big. Didn’t seem cohesive. Many odd “modern” buildings. This was a drive-by, but DS wouldn’t even get out to request a tour or look around after driving through. He determined there was NO WAY he would attend.

LSU - “creepy”. However, we drove through LSU after he already had decided on Alabama, so it didn’t have a chance…

We couldn’t be happier with a school than we are with Alabama. The personal attention did NOT stop with recruiting, but has continued. My DS will be entering his third year there this fall.

515

Sorry Wesleyan was knocked of list not Wellesley. She applied to Wellesley

516

They played the Yale video before the info session I went to last year with my daughter and I thought the most cringe-worthy aspect was the presence of Brian Williams, who was in disgrace by that point. I would have thought they could have edited him out.

517

@robotrainbow @happy1 @suzyQ7 - Crossing off top 20 colleges before you’re accepted is like me crossing off dating Cindy Crawford before I met my wife.

  • You didn't waste $75 on an app fee, but you did waste an afternoon and whatever it cost to get there in the first place?
  • how little research did they put into a college if the "vibe" from a tour, the food, or the architecture wiped all interest? again, my opinion, pre-acceptance tours of elite colleges are largely a pretentious display. I'd be pretty irritated if my child crossed off a school after wasting my time and money touring the place.
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518

D crossed off some top 20 colleges after visiting. Columbia, Haverford.

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@citivas Yes. That’s what I mean. With our savings and income, we will not get any need-based financial aid. Our very tentative list includes schools like Grinnell, Kenyon, American University, Indiana Univerisity just to name a few. Our goal is to keep it under $45,000 per year if possible which means trying to get merit aid to the tune of $15-$20K at the more expensive schools. We just aren’t looking to dip into our non-college savings. Our EFC is higher than the cost of the most expensive schools.

Plus, our son has expressed interest in schools that “aren’t like” his high school which is uber competitive. Not a lot of collaboration going on with the kids. So much pressure. He also loves his classes where he’s tight with his teachers so a smaller school or an honors program would be good fits. Sorry to get a little off topic…

520

@OldFashioned1 Again, I respectfully disagree. I know many unhooked applicants who get into top tier schools. Some are helped by applying early. IMO it is more like saying you turned down a date with Cindy Crawford before meeting your wife. Why not meet Cindy Crawford if you are single and have the chance even if it is unlikely to turn into a marriage?

And if someone does not like a school, why apply even if it is a super high caliber place. I know people who were uncomfortable with the preppy level at Princeton, felt Dartmouth was too remote, Columbia was too urban etc. They are great schools, but not great fits for everyone. Again being on the east coast the cost to visit for us is minimal and IMO the time is worth the information that can be had.

Anyway, at this point we should just agree to disagree.

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