Comment on my essay please, in need of help :)

"It has been often said that rapid technological change requires us to change our morals, customs, and institutions. This observation is believable only if we assume that humanity was made for machine, not the machine for humanity. If anything, technological progress makes our sense of tradition more necessary than ever.

“Maintaining traditions is not (or need not be) merely a resistance to change, but positive attachement to some particular way of life and the community that embodies it.”
-Adapted from Karl Jahn, “Tradition and Progress”

In the above excerpt, Jahn argues that we do not have to change our traditions to keep pace with technological changes. To what extent do you agree or disagree with his position?

        The universe is expanding and the world is advancing. With more knowledge people have today, they have been inventing more technology that ease life. However, some say that cultural tradition has become a restriction in achieving technological advancement, but some, like Jahn, claim have argued for the preservation of traditions. Nowadays, changing traditions is the best way in order to conform with the advancement of technology. This is to bring peace and to ease one's life.

      The Trojan War is an example of changes of traditions requirement. According to the tradition, fighting using strength is the only way to win a war. However, with quite great technology at that time such as swords and axes, the Greeks had built a Trojan horse to deceive the Troys. They deliberately left a Greek to tell the Troys that the horse was a gift to Troy as a sign of retreat, but actually they were Greeks warriors in there. At night, they came out from the horse and attack Troy. Alas, the Greeks won the war by deception. Through the Trojan war anecdote, the technology change during that time led the Greeks to win the war not by tradition; which is by fighting but by deception. This end of war brought peace to the Greeks kingdom.

   Traditionally, the use of animals and ships has been a means of transportation. However, the advent of aeroplane by the 'Wright Brothers' had changed this tradition forever. Although Lieutenant Selfridge suffered the first fatality in the history of powered flight; portraying the repercussion of changing traditions to technological changes, the people at that time had no detrimental effect on their enthusiasm about the importance of flights. They knew they could travel around the world with the invention of flights without any limitations. This changing of tradition is of the utmost importance as it eases one's life. 

  The Trojan War and the advent of aeroplanes depict the need of changing traditions in order to obtain peace and to make life better.

*please i need your comment and thanks :smiley: