Common App Essay help - Topic #5

<p>Hi, I'm looking for some help in editing my common app essay. My English teacher edited it, but a friend feels like I have some grammatical errors. </p>

<p>The main issue with my essay is that I rant too much about the subject of my essay, my grandfather, and don't write enough about my personal reactions and thoughts. I would appreciate some feedback on whether these two are way out of proportion, or can be fixed.</p>

<p>I'm thinking about rewriting the essay on a completely different topic, but I feel this essay accurately depicts my perspective on relationships. </p>

<p>Please shoot me a PM if you can help.</p>