<p>I've proofread my essay, but I'm not confident in my grammar because I wasn't born here..
Can anyone willing to look over my common app essay and give some comment on? I desperately need help. Please be harsh and criticize it. Thank you in advance. </p>
<p>The essay topic is : Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked your transition from childhood to adulthood within your culture, community, or family.</p>