Common App transfer essay explaining poor grades - hit me with your best shot!

College Essays
1

<p>I would love it if someone could read over my polished transfer essay explaining my poor performance in uni, and let me know what they think. I accept the most honest of constructive criticisms, and would be happy to read your essay in return!</p>

2

<p>Surely I can do that for you. Send it over :)</p>

3

<p>Thank you! My essay has been sent your way!</p>

4

<p>You are violating one of the three cardinal rules of essay writing:

  1. Never complain
  2. Never explain
  3. Never brag</p>

<p>(courtesy Alan Gelb)</p>

5

<p>How should I otherwise address my poor performance in university? In my essay, rather than shirk my accountability, I try to take responsibility for and describe what happened at school - namely age-related immaturity and subsequent depression, the latter for which I recently received treatment. Without proper explanation, I feel that my application is missing crucial information. I’d love your advice as to how best to explain my experience to admissions officers. Thanks so much for the comment!</p>

6

<p>You do that as a hurdle you have overcome (vs an “explanation” of why) and why you are NOW a stronger, more mature person. Make it VISUAL. You start off in this way: “I looked online to get my grades for the semester and was not surprised at what I saw. As usual, they were not good. But this time there was a difference. This was, I vowed, going to be the last time I had to face grades like this. I felt like this phase of my life was over. I was ready to move on.”</p>

<p>Then make the essay POSITIVE - “scenes” that show you imporving and overcoming this hurdle - maybe sometimes being tested, but learning to overcome.</p>

<p>Then the last paragraph is something like this (returning to the opening scenario): “I looked online to see my latest grades. Unlike in the past, I did not dread seeing the results. This time, my expectations were high. I felt stronger, more confident, and a lot more mature… and I was not disappointed at what I saw.”</p>

<p>This assumes that you have improved the grades at some point, but if that did not happen, then the explanation does not hold water, because there is no evidence that things will change. But you could try to say that the above is what you ENVISION for the future.</p>