More than once, I’ve come across the advice not to state to more than one school that it’s the applicant’s first choice. I understand how communicating that to two or more schools at a time may be in poor taste. However, I wonder if that’s all. Are there any other ramifications? I worry because GK1 has maintained contact with AOs and coaches from 3 schools that are her top choice, and while she may not have stated directly “your school is my first choice,” she clearly is communicating a strong, sustained interest that could easily mean just that. Where do you draw the line? Can this backfire for some reason?
I think it comes down to just that: if asked is this your first choice and she lies that would be wrong–not that it hasn’t been done. Otherwise GK1 is just doing her job. We were asked by one school, and are maintaining strong sustained contact with three schools. One is our first choice. We don’t want the others to ask us. We have been told that if you are a very strong candidate and you don’t state it is your first choice, then you won’t get in.
“We have been told that if you are a very strong candidate and you don’t state it is your first choice, then you won’t get in.” - Really? Why? This doesn’t seem right.
I know. One would think that if you are a very strong candidate then everyone would want you…and you would be wooed etc. BS is different (much like Ivies). If you are a desired candidate -for whatever reason–you go on a list. Someone wants you. BUT someones dont want to look bad if you are on their list and then you decline.
If you’re referring to the Tufts Syndrome, that I understand. It just sounded odd that a strong candidate must state a first choice or be forever doomed.
No not exactly: More that, for example, you have a candidate applying to Choate, Andover and Groton etc. Academically competitive and a star lacrosse player. Every school would take her. If she wont verbally commit to your school as her first choice that means she is going elsewhere. Why bother wasting an acceptance on her. Those other schools arent better --they are all the same. So yes it is partly yield protection but its also advocate protection.
Our experience with DD last admissions cycle indicates that this may not hold true for every candidate. We did not indicate a first choice for any school and she was admitted to 6/7 (one from an initial waitlist). She did maintain contact with coaches and the admissions office up until decision date. She was seeking admission to 11th grade if that makes any difference.
TheStig2: Of course -nothing is 100%. I am sure that the unique qualifications of each “strong” candidate affect the situations. 11th grade is a very different animal to boot. Nonetheless, so wonderful that she had those choices. Congratulations!
We worked with consultants and were advised by a senior admissions professional from a school frequently mentioned on these boards. They both agreed that a first choice letter was required and that it would be particularly helpful for one of our kids who was not as strong academically.
It would be dishonest and a very bad lesson to suggest your child send more than one letter to different schools.
Thank you, stanford94. That’s very helpful to know.
I got two questions;
- Would that theory apply to Aodover and Exeter? They seem to be the most competitive so wouldn't they assume that a "star" applicant will choose them because their yield is so high anyway?
-
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Academically competitive and a star lacrosse player. Every school would take her.
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This wouldn’t apply if the student is a FA ORM student, or would it still?
Depends on how big a start. Also Minority status trumps everything.
Just to offer a different opinion to illustrate that this isn’t totally a requirement. . . . . DS sent no first choice letters and quite honestly shared with those who asked him that he wasn’t sure and was trying to learn whatever he could about each school. He applied to four schools and was admitted to three. The one he was waitlisted at was his definite last choice. He did not stay in contact with any admissions officers. He applied, interviewed, and wrote thank you notes sometimes when he remembered. He is not an athlete. He was not applying for financial aid. He has no legacy anywhere.
He would have told a clear first choice that the school was first choice, but he didn’t have one. Those schools who admitted him were gracious and open and understood that he would be comparing options. While it might help odds to tell a clear first choice that the school is first choice, it is not a requirement and kids are admitted without any follow-up post interview.
i don’t see why it should be an issue if multiple schools were told they are the first choice if it indeed was at the time of discussions with them. The student gains more information as time passes, and can change their minds over the course of time. Even after M10 one could change their mind based on revisit day etc. There is nothing formal that has to bind the student to a school until they actually send their acceptance decision in writing, right?
@GoatMama - Here are two good threads : http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/prep-school-parents/1731399-letting-schools-know-about-top-choice-status-p1.html and http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/prep-school-admissions/1728735-inside-the-admissions-office-process-p1.html
@PhotographerMom Thank you indeed!
You’re welcome 
@Curious2016 - This may not help but here’s my post from another thread :
What S’94 described is wonderful but not uncommon. As parents, we watch our kids during this process to see which school(s) capture their imagination and usually have a sense for what school is in top spot leading up app deadlines. Some of us know before reaching the car in the parking lot after an interview/ tour- especially if everything went as beautifully as described above. However…
I’d just like to remind everyone that this (tour/interview) is a two hour snapshot for a 200K + investment. I don’t know about you but I’d like to see how M10 plays out before I’d allow my teenager to declare his/her undying love for only one school. What happens if FC dream school sends a waitlist or rejection letter M10? Do you think a mature teen (who sent the FC letter) can handle that? I’ll give you a solid MAYBE- depending on whether a viable #2 and #3 came through to soften the blow. But even then…
Why not settle ( for now ) that your FC dream school feels exactly the same way about you - and even more so after they read your application?
(Reminder: A glowing report after an interview is fantastic and truly well-deserved but the AO hasn’t even seen the application yet… What they’re doing is encouraging you to apply- which is awesome but try to keep things in perspective: They haven’t had the opportunity to REALLY meet your child yet- through his/her application )
Regardless: If you get accepted to two or three wonderful schools (including your FC) chances are your child ( even though they’ve said they wouldn’t want to… ) will want to go to two ( maybe three ) Revisit Days. You can run but you can’t hide from the excitement of multiple acceptances … and why should you! ( Assuming you actually liked all the schools you applied to ) Why lock yourself in with a FC letter now and miss out on all the wooing and festivities later?
Not to mention another opportunity to see the schools with a fresh set of eyes…especially now that you’re back in the driver’s seat again.
And- let’s not forget: If you’ve sent a FC letter and were accepted to that school you’ve forfeited your right to attend Revisit Day at other schools- right? Right- because the FC letter is your word. Just so we’re all clear…
Parents/applicants thinking about FC letters today aren’t necessarily thinking about Revisit Days tomorrow. It’s interesting how schools can feel one way (to a family) in Fall and then completely different in Spring- Not always but definitely more often than you think. If you choose two schools to revisit you’ll see what I mean. If I had a dime for every time second (or third) choice became first choice…
I’ve seen it happen in my own life (My siblings - no Revisit Days back then but a lot of back and forth! My kids and many nieces and nephews- who attended Revisit Days) and on threads here M10-A10. Checkout threads from last March/April- and you’ll see it, too. It’s like herding cats (and I mean that in the best possible way ).
I really don’t want to sound like a killjoy… As a 3G BS Alum, I’m truly excited for every family beginning this journey. I just want to caution applicants/parents to think (a little bit) further down the road. It’s easy to get swept up when you see all these beautiful boarding schools and everything they have to offer. And- there’s certainly no denying a connection when you feel it. All I’m saying is: Let it play out and see how everything unfolds M10- A10… be enthusiastic but maybe just a little bit guarded , too.
When you write the 5K deposit check (which is non refundable- by the way ) and mail it before the A10 deadline- chances are (by that time) your child will be certain (of their choice) and psyched. And, as the parent writing the check (after you’ve kicked the tires one last time)- so will you! I don’t know about you but (as a parent) I’ve always found comfort in knowing that we followed everything through to the end… whether it was exploring other schools despite an obvious Legacy BS (staring us in the face) or allowing time to choose between two (sometimes three) schools - even if that route ended with a frantic (A9) call to an AO and a check sent via FedEx.
What doesn’t kill you will make you stronger… or something.
So- Stock up on the Purple Pill ( for M10 and Revisit Days) and pass the Beta Blockers (for the deposit check) … You’re in for a (wonderful ) ride.
Just my extremely long- winded two cents…
- The entire thread can be found here : http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/prep-school-admissions/1728735-inside-the-admissions-office-process-p1.html and it's definitely worth reading.
Thanks Photographer Mom. I have some questions for you if you don’t mind. We have limited BS experience. (Older generation). We do have k-8/12 private school experience in a very competitive market. First choice letters were required in that situation. My question for you is, how do you answer when your child is asked this question? I mean in a way that doesn’t sound like you are taking the 5th:). My child has a first choice but would be happy with any of three of them. Doesn’t want to limit choice to one with no guarantee.
I know you weren’t asking me, but IMO there is only one answer to this wildly inappropriate question besides “none of your dang business:”
Q: Do you have a first choice school?
A: I would be happy to attend any of the schools I am applying to should I be fortunate enough to be offered admission. Boarding school is my first choice.
or
A: My list isn’t final yet but I am applying to schools that offer and would be happy to attend any one that chooses me as its first choice.
I like this better:
Q: Do you have a first choice school?
A: I sure do. (Big smile and silence)
Q: Which school is it?
A: I’ll let you know A10.