I have not been on this thread for a while, so here are my “2 cents” for free.
The best advice we heard was actually from the HOS of Hotchkiss who said to us parents during Revisit Day:
“ Remember - you are not sending your child to a school. You are sending your child to people”
For me (not DH - because he preferred the uptight snobby teachers in bow ties at one school - because those starched-backed guys reminded him of himself) that was the “compass” I used to help kiddo find the “best fit” among the schools to choose from after March 10th and after Revisit Week.
I’m secretly compiling a list of very similar questions.
Daughter has a 4 day weekend next weekend and it would be a perfect opportunity to do a couple of sleuth drive-throughs of campus and the local towns (we wouldn’t go anywhere near students nor go in any buildings so it’s debatable how useful it could be). But daren’t go visit her shortlist schools and then her truly fall in love with a school before M10.
A crucial collection of questions for us also include sports questions. Most of them she has already asked (how well does she gel with the coach, team culture, pre season etc) but another thing we are going to have to ask given the chaos that covid has thrown into the mix is PGs and transfer students. I don’t know if schools will tell us about other students, especially since those students may not have committed yet. It’s also unlikely that the answer would change her choice of school, but it would be good to know.
Several of the schools provided opportunities after March 10th for Kiddo to speak with current students. Last year, Kiddo participated in video conferencing with accepted students and athletes. It really helps to have the kids speak with each other. Schools also provided the opportunity for parents to speak with each other, also after March 10th.
New question. We got an email offer to set up a Zoom appt with a head of school a few days ago. When I clicked on it, there were only 6 slots. We took one and the rest filled.
I thought it seemed odd that they would do this a week before M10, it seems like at this point they would just wait and not waste time with people who may not even be admitted.
The appt was very much “what are your questions” and didn’t feel evaluative, although I guess he did ask our motivation for her going and felt us out a bit on whether we were really ok with her leaving.
Is this normal? It seems like an inefficient use of their time if it is offered to kids who will be rejected in a week. At the same time I don’t want to read something into it that isn’t there.
But I don’t even want to guess what it means. Especially in a time of Covid. Ok. One guess. I think your kid is on a list of kids they wanted to give/get another opportunity to know. There could be lots of reasons.
I’m guessing you’ll be admitted there. Without revisit days, it’s hard to get every family all the info they’ll want to make a decision within a relatively tight window.
Even if you aren’t being admitted, this is the time when a lot of those deciding issues start to become clearer – this school’s forum could raise those for you. I always found there was someone at those forums asking a question (or getting an answer) about something I hadn’t considered that could be worth thinking about.
FWIW, we received a similar call from Middlesex a few years ago. Very friendly admissions officer, just making contact and offering to answer any questions. Kid did end up being admitted. I would take it as a positive sign but not a guarantee.
Good luck with the BS results. After reading your initial post it occurs to me that if BS doesn’t work out this year your daughter would be a great candidate for homeschooling. She could do that for a year and apply again next cycle. Homeschooling offers more flexibility and a greater opportunity to find like-minded peers. My children loved the freedom to plan their own days and each has found the college that works best for them. One kiddo is attending an ivy, another was offered a spot at an ivy but turned it down for a program that was a better fit, and one is at a great state university. If it’s something your daughter might be interested in read up on your state regulations and search out local homeschool groups. But fingers crossed that she gets the BS experience that she wants. My sibling’s kids went that route and they loved it.
Is there anything about this year that has been normal?
My guess is that they didn’t send this to the hard rejects. (I’m defining “hard rejects” as those who are clearly not qualified (7th percentile on the SSAT and applying the GLADCHEMMS) or incredibly poor fit (proudly named after a Confederate general, applying to a school with a social justice requirement).)
But I have no insight as to whether it’s borderline people (accept/waitlist).
It certainly doesn’t seem like a good use of time for borderline waitlist/reject. You can always waitlist an applicant, when in doubt, and just… leave them there. Right? But I don’t run things, so who knows.
I agree with @stalecookies, it’s such a weird year. I’m so hopeful it is good news for you, @dadof4kids! (But regardless, I think you will have good news from several places, whatever happens with this particular school.)
All I can say is, they have successfully occupied your brain with wondering, probably, and gotten you to picture your child there a little bit more than you otherwise would have. If they are about to make you an offer, they have the benefit of this little extra attention and imagination! It could be a clever tactic if they know for sure they will take you. They have a one-week brain-space edge now over other schools that will all notify in a tumble. We just don’t know yet if that is what is going on. It could be just testing interest to protect their yield in a really crazy coronavirus year. Like: did you apply in response to coronavirus situations from the fall, but now that the vaccine is rolling out, and things might be back to normal-ish later, will your daughter actually follow through? I think if you persuade them of your sincere interest, you’ll be in a good spot. Crossing fingers for a happy March 10th for your family!
Any family making less than 200K generally gets something at a lot of schools and with 3 kids in college my guess is you will get substantial FA. Part of why I allowed my oldest to go to BS was that he was deeply unhappy at his school, it was the best decision for him - he found his tribe and he thrived. You could look at schools with rolling admissions and the hidden gem schools. It is worth reaching out to some schools that you think would be a good fit for her asking them for advice. Also she can get in some community service instead of trying to join a club at school with the mean kids. I am sorry your daughter is having such a negative experience, please tell her to hang in there, she will find her people even if it is in college! Another option you might look into is remote learning at your LPS if it is an option. My 2nd son never had a good social experience at the charter school he attended, this year we switched to his LPS and he is SO happy doing the remote learning there. The stress of going in every day and dealing with the social stuff is gone, he has made some really nice friends in his remote classes too. Good luck!!
I’m not who you’re talking to, but that is so relieving to know. I was really worried that my family wouldn’t qualify and that I wouldn’t be able to go to BS even if I do get in.
Sorry, I thought I was replying to completelyinexperienceddadof4 who was asking about applying late for his daughter who was super unhappy at her LPS, but I am kind of remedial on these things. You seem like a great candidate, it is really arbitrary but my kids were mostly waitlisted or financial aid waitlisted but in the end had really generous offers from 3 schools (2 were not huge endowment schools). All 3 schools offered much more than the online FA calculator had us needing so we were actually able to afford BS. Good luck!!
My son’s number one choice is Governors. Hope we see you there. Love your lists. We want a kind and gentle school environment. Stress in my opinion does not help the learning process. Living vicariously through all these posts. Quietly freaking out.
Just wanted to say I am thinking of all of you. Exciting, stressful, hopeful all at once. Also, while many schools get more good applicants than they can accept, our experience was that things really work out for the best.
My kid was one (like many who post here) with high stats and two good ECs, but neither “recruitable” ones. His list was short and limited by geography (different topic!) and the only real commonality was geography. He was rejected at the most selective one and accepted at the other 2. Several friends’ kids as well as siblings of his classmates attended the one where he was rejected, and through them as well as playing them in sports, we got a much clearer picture of that school over the next 4 years. It would have been a dreadful fit for my kid, wonderful as it was for others. I am SO grateful that we didn’t have thus option on M10! And as those who know me here know well, I LOVE the school he attended for everything it gave him and allowed him to be. DS is now a college grad and we still feel that BS tuition was probably the best educational $ spent.
I tell this story to hopefully reassure you that the “sorting hat” that is M10 is generally works quite well.