@blossom@happy1 You have great faith that schools are run for the benefit of the students and not the administrators.
My advice would be for both parents and the student to go to the principal as a unified front. Ideally, the parents should be wearing suits. (I’ve worked with IEP families at the pre-high school level. Families seem to get more from schools when they bring a man in a suit.)
If THAT doesn’t work, consider making a request, in writing, for a 504 plan for anxiety. You will definitely want a doctor’s letter at that point. If the school won’t move her, then they need to make the inappropriate classes work with her health. The school is required to respond. They will probably find it easier to move the kid than to do things like give her extra time for all her tests and quizzes so she doesn’t freak out.
I agree with AroundHere. First try the united front meeting, but bring a note from a professional that describes her anxiety and that dropping the class is necessary for her health. The primary care could write it if need be… In that meeting, if they won’t just drop the contract, ask for a 504 plan,which is a document related to the Americans with Disabilities Act that will enable her to have accommodations for her anxiety. All that is required is a diagnosis provided by a professional. One of the accommodations could be dropping the course, or the more complicated picture that AroundHere alludes to.
If none of this works then I would consult a lawyer or advocate. If money is an issue there are often low cost advocates through a special needs organization, but I think $150-200 for one hour with a lawyer will solve your problem. You can then meet with the school and tell them with a smile that you have solved the problem, that you consulted a lawyer and this is what they said etc.
Your school is, in my opinion, behaving outrageously.
There is some internal agenda going on that they are not telling you, perhaps relating to how many kids in certain classes and how many teachers to hire or something like that.
Remember, it is easy to view schools as existing to employ people rather than teach kids. Keep the focus on your child if you can!
I have faith that even the worst principal in the world cannot look a student in the eye who in good faith, is struggling during the second week of school with a schedule which is already causing anxiety. The head of school has three options- dig in and watch the kid fall apart during the semester; make an exception and then have to listen to the teachers and other administrators complain about the policy and the exception, or wait for the lawyer/therapist/parents to show up waving a sheaf of papers.
I think in this situation the path of least resistance is to listen to the kid- no parents, no lawyers. And in the time it would take to get the Dr’s assesment, find a lawyer, etc. what about this poor kid??? How bad does it need to get before the school rips up the stupid contract (which by the way I have never heard of. I’ve heard of contracts for athletes in HS, contracts for band, etc. but for physics???)
I got a lawyer for a problem almost immediately and a problem we had been dealing with for months was resolved the next day. It was unnecessary to pay for the lawyer to come to the meeting with me. Schools know there are may be legal ramifications to their actions. Lawyering up is of course a last resort but even if it happens, it does not have to be obviously adversarial.
@blossom I have concerns that a child suffering from anxiety might not be able to tell her story clearly under pressure and be firm about getting her need for relief met. There is a power difference between a student and the principal that the parents’ presence helps balance out.
Is it really so impossible to immediately cut back on the student’s family responsibilities? To me, this seems to be the better alternative because no bureaucracy is involved.
Taking care of siblings due to a parent working late/irregular shifts is a legitimate EC that appears on common app and is taken seriously by colleges. I’d cut the extra science class before I jumped through hoops, risking my job.
The “suit up and go to the principal with her” asking for 504 to accommodate her anxiety in classes if she can’t drop physics, is also good advice.
I’m curious how this played out. DD’s school also has parents and students sign a contract to take AP classes that stipulate the student must remain in the class for the entire semester, but they are allowed to drop it then. Because of this, the school tries to steer kids away from taking more than 3 per year.
My husband met with the principal with my daughter yesterday and their response was that they can maneuver her schedule around. However, she can’t drop the class even if we give the school a professional doctor’s note or asking for the 504 plan. Today, I was alerted that she had a breakdown in the middle of the hallway, but the teachers say it is normal that students cry over physics. I am definitely worried now.
What state are you in? If I were in your position I’d pull her from school and let her homeschool. She can study online or you can order books from Amazon. Then I’d go to the next school board meeting and make them explain why their staff thinks they’re qualified to make a mental health diagnosis for my child. If the school could behave reasonably I’d let her consider enrolling next year after the contract runs out. If not, I wouldn’t send her back there.
Something doesn’t smell right. My daughter is a senior and she had to maneuver her schedule around and dropped AP Comp Sci and picked up Sports Leadership. Dropping the AP was no sweat.
D18 took honors physics as a junior and it was a hard time-consuming class. She elected not to take AP Physics as a senior. 20/20 hindsight now having 3 AP’s (Chem, Spanish and Lit) plus MV Calc is enough college-level courses for her at least. So I might even advocate for something other than AP or honors physics.
Really? Is the school / teacher wearing it as a badge of honor that this class is so stressful that students routinely cry over it? And that means they’re learning Physics at a college level?
I agree, something is not adding up. This is a student who felt she could handle 4APs a few months ago and is now crying in the hallway one week into school and having other breakdowns? The first week of school is not too strenuous in my experience, mostly meeting teachers and students, getting syllabi, learning your schedule, and if anything reviewing the previous semester. Something else is going on, please get to the bottom of it for her sake.
I think there is no problem with having an older sibling help out with the younger ones after school up to the dinner hour. This is reality in many homes. The lack of ECs is easily explained. Commitment to one’s family should always be first and foremost. Much is learned by those high school students who do this. Please do not feel guilty for asking her to help. Its easy for those in higher income brackets to judge, they have never had to make these decisions. Good luck in your job search and good luck to your daughter.
As the parent of an anxious kid, this adds up perfectly for me. The first week or two of school, when you don’t know what everything will settle down into, is the highest anxiety level of the year.
If they aren’t taking the anxiety seriously because it’s somehow “normal/common” for kids to have mental breakdowns over subjects (It my school, it was not, although we all shed a few tears over chem), try another angle. An A in honors vs a D in an AP isn’t the same as the normal A/B debate. Be clear they are harming your child’s college prospects with their unreasonable contract. Even college classes offer a drop period so that students who have taken on too much aren’t screwed over.
Side note: do you have in writing/email that they denied this request? Might be a good thing to have
Another option (I don’t know how feasible this is) would be to go to your local paper and tell them. Our paper on occasion has stirred up action at school.