Conformity among college students

College Life
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<p>When I first came to college, I expected an environment where people are liberated from others' opinions, a place where people feel free to express their honest opinion, experiment with stupid ideas, and try new things. However, I found that a lot of the times the opposite is true.</p>

<p>Freshman year I bought Moulin Rouge because it was on sale and looked interesting. Some kids on my floor were willing to watch it with me, but were extremely embarrassed when some girls walked in. They were very quick to point out that I bought the movie, and that it was my idea to watch it. It was a trivial matter, I didn't pay too much attention to it. However, I sort of had deja vu when I saw Tarantino film (Reservoir Dogs- hailed for its nontraditional storytelling) that others perceived as bad solely because it was different from other movies out there. </p>

<p>I thought college would be a great time to explore different intellectual movements, including experimental/non-traditional films. Okay, fine, some people may not like experimental films, and I completely understand that. However, the hive mind extends beyond film media; many of my close friends have criticized my style of dress, the crazy things I sometimes say, and my choice in music. </p>

<p>This is further promoted in debate/discussion, the heart of academia. At dinner, sometimes I take controversial stands solely to promote discussion, but oftentimes people at the table would gang up against me after first consulting with their friends to make sure that their opinion was the most popular one.</p>

<p>Granted, there are true moments of diversity in college (I received many opportunities to volunteer and meet very diverse people). Additionally, there are people from truly diverse backgrounds. However, betraying my initial expectations, college culture is not really divorced from the high school upper-middle-class white collar culture.</p>

<p>I'm not furious or anything, I do have a core group of friends that I enjoy talking to. However, sometimes I feel like I had more true friends in High School. College wasn't really a place full of determined adventurers and those who challenged norms; in fact, most of the people I have dealt with were quite the opposite: wealthy members of established social castes that tried to uphold the system rather than challenge it.</p>

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<p>So…your point is that college is not the perfect, ideal utopia you were expecting it to be; there are elements which you expected that make you happy, but overall it closely resembles the real world except for people being younger and less mature?</p>

<p>Ok, I can agree with that. It’s nice you’ve found a core group of friends and some diversity. Doesn’t sound like you’re unhappy, so that’s always good.</p>

<p>I go to a college where it seems kind of opposite, where kids desperately try to be “different” and “alternative” and “fight the man” but I think they come off as immature and ignorant. A large group gathered and had an illegal protest earlier in the semester, and the whole thing was laughable, as were their demands. They publicly embarrassed themselves and the university. They’re now a joke on campus and if you watch a youtube video of their “protest” people laugh at how childish, ignorant, and entitled these kids come across. So don’t be too unhappy that kids at your college aren’t going out of their way to challenge the system! It shows they’re not ridiculously immature and ignorant like some kids i’ve met here. Every college has its own flaws though. Sounds like yours is not a terrible place to be (from my point of view).</p>

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<p>Haha, it seems like your college is in the opposite extreme! I think both our schools show different direct outcomes, but the reasoning behind their actions is the same: it is the desire to be like everyone else without finding their own opinions and questioning core assumptions. In my case, it is being bland and following rules to not get ostracized. In your case, it is joining the movement to be a part of what everyone else is doing, now doing it out of genuine concern.</p>

<p>That is the problem I have with Obama voters who voted for him because it’s what all the hipsters are doing. Although I support Obama, I don’t like the crowd mentality.</p>

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<p>As for college being not very far removed from upper-middle-class white collar culture, this demographic is the one most likely to be prepared for both the academic and financial rigor of college. Our educational system, for all its merits, still has clear benefits for those whose parents have the most money and free time. In this country, these are predominantly upper-middle-class white people.</p>

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<p>It’s not our faults you went to school with kids of wealth. That’s just bad luck. But wouldn’t this mean you grew up in this culture? How is this so hard to handle?</p>

<p>These things you’re getting beef on you aren’t really being specific with. Your dress style? If you’re a guy wearing skinny jeans, should come as no surprise. If you’re a girl always wearing dark or baggy clothes, you look like you’re in a shell, hiding in a comfort zone.</p>

<p>I don’t know what that movie’s about, but if it has nudity or anything weird then of COURSE those kids won’t act all “OMG I LOVE IT!!” They probably don’t want to look nerdy, yet they might secretly enjoy it. It’s human nature to “blame” you.</p>

<p>Be careful with darkish humor. If people discuss not bringing guns to school and you say something like “What if I WANT to shoot someone?”… yeah, expect others (probably girls) to get weirded out and perhaps frightened. I still don’t know what you specifically say though.</p>

<p>I think you royally suck at being able to loosen up with teasing kids. If you can’t be secure enough to defend your “ways”, expect things to get worse because kids want reasons. Reasons BESIDES “it’s my choice”.</p>

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<p>My parents are well to do, but they came to the US with almost no money. I have no relatives here, my family has struggled financially before, but now we are well to do.</p>

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<p>The thing is, why should a guy wearing skinny jeans have preconceived notions associated with his dress style? Why should a girl wearing baggy clothes come off as insecure? I thought that most college students at top schools would overcome these assumptions. Stereotyping by dress is too high schoolish for me.</p>

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<p>Again, doesn’t answer the question of what is wrong with nudity in film. Why is being normal and conventional good, and being out of the norm bad? Why should people who try to explore unconventional media be “blamed”? I thought that college would be a place where I can say “man, that new movie was weird but awesome” and not get judged for it.</p>

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<p>There is a difference between challenging norms and not having any sense of decency around people. This is a straw man statement.</p>

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<p>I do have reasons, but a lot of times people don’t listen to reasons and reject the thing in question on face. For example, if I defend the cultural value of Death Proof from Rodriguez/Tarantino’s Grindhouse as a tribute to old slasher films of the 60s, people will say something like “this movie is gay” and shut off all conversation.</p>

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<p>I don’t have any friends in college since most of them seem to still be in their high school bubble. Mostly all of my friends already are established in their own careers and well out of college. I find it more fascinating to speak with them since they have a lot of unique life experience and are not afraid to be independent.</p>

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<p>so college kids hate nudity now? what alternate universe did i stumble into</p>

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<p>“I thought that most college students at top schools would overcome these assumptions. Stereotyping by dress is too high schoolish for me.”
These assumptions are everywhere, not just college and certainly not only high school. If you go out wearing a grill and do-rag (sp?), chances are people of all ages will assume many more things about you than had you not. A lot of older people stereotype by dress (which isn’t a stereotype – it’s a fact). They are NOT high schoolish.</p>

<p>“Why is being normal and conventional good, and being out of the norm bad? Why should people who try to explore unconventional media be “blamed”?”
It’s not bad, you’re just being ultra sensitive about this… You’re the one with the movie, you should take responsibility. If you feel like people are judging you, defend yourself dammit! If they still are ignorant and dumb, you let it go.</p>

<p>“if I defend the cultural value of Death Proof from Rodriguez/Tarantino’s Grindhouse as a tribute to old slasher films of the 60s, people will say something like “this movie is gay” and shut off all conversation.”
They aren’t even worth the effort. They’re the ones you might share notes or play frisbee with, but not discuss this with. I know I would’ve laughed, but yeah not everyone acts like that. That is just your bad luck with people there.</p>

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<p>“if I defend the cultural value of Death Proof from Rodriguez/Tarantino’s Grindhouse as a tribute to old slasher films of the 60s”</p>

<p>you know, most people watch movies to have fun.</p>

<p>i’m just saying.</p>

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<p>I’m gonna be really honest with you here…i’ve noticed several posts on CC from kids complaining that they have trouble fitting in at college. it seems like a lot of these kids are book-smart, but lack basic social skills. I can tell a bit about their personalities by the way they post. When they speak in real life, they come across as kinda formal. they’re intelligent but don’t know how to relate to peers and come off as pretentious and “stiff” like the types that can’t have fun. they take everything too seriously and over-analyze everything that happens. </p>

<p>I feel like I can relate to this cause up until I was 14 or so, I was more reserved and came off sort of “stiff” and maybe pretentious, but then I learned how to relax and have fun. I don’t know you but i’d be willing to bet you come off like this in person, I can honestly guess by the way you post. Relax and don’t take everything too seriously. </p>

<p>When you’re watching a movie, laugh at the funny parts, don’t over-analyze them to death to your buddy. I know some people like to do that, and if you find a friend who’s into films like that, sweet, but don’t think everyone is. Some of us prefer watching stuff like *I Love You Man<a href=“has%20anyone%20seen%20that?%20is%20it%20good?”>/i</a>. I’m not saying change your personality, just try to relax more and realize not everyone likes the stuff you do. Sorry if this assessment is way off, but i’m guessing it’s close to the truth.</p>

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<p>tbqh i didn’t read this whole thing, but seriously what kind of college kid doesn’t cream himself over tarantino?</p>

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<p>Haha, Moulin Rouge sucks but you really must not be trying when you can’t find anyone to watch Reservoir Dogs with who could quote Steve Buscemi.</p>

<p>And you’ll find a lot of the social crap you’re talking about being tired of in high school pretty much exists everywhere as you get older (especially in the workplace).</p>

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<p>When the girls walked in and pointed you out as the guy who bought the movie…why were you upset? They are just giving you a hard time, it is what guy friends do. Were you embarassed or something? You could have totally turned it into humor instead of being offended.</p>

<p>“Are you guys watching moulin rouge?”
“<strong>your name</strong> bought it.”
“Yeah, because I heard there was nudity in it.”</p>

<p>You just want to be different for the sake of being different. Don’t expect to play devils advocate to try to stir up arguments and not expect people to gang up against you.</p>

<p>They criticize your style and choice of music? I think everyone who has ever lived has had this happen at some point.</p>

<p>Just relax a bit. If people give you a hard time, then give them a hard time. It is what friends do. I tell my friends how much their music sucks from time to time, and they do the same to me. This goes for tons of other stuff too.</p>

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<p>1) You overanalyze everything. Stop.
2) Where in the world do you go where every college student isn’t all over Reservoir Dogs?
3) “The thing is, why should a guy wearing skinny jeans have preconceived notions associated with his dress style? Why should a girl wearing baggy clothes come off as insecure? I thought that most college students at top schools would overcome these assumptions. Stereotyping by dress is too high schoolish for me.”</p>

<p>Stereotyping by dress is by far the quickest and most accurate way to initially stereotype someone, and stereotyping is not always a bad thing. People, especially in college, have nearly complete control over how they dress and will tend to wear whatever clothes are the ‘uniform’ of whatever personality they’re trying to portray.</p>

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<p>You don’t need to DEFEND your ways. I go with my line, “It’s my way, **** off.” I don’t need to justify myself to ANYONE.</p>

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<p>If you do something that’s not personal, and someone asks you “Why do you do that?” and you respond “It’s my way, **** off.” – you are being rude. And if you never have a reason for doing anything, what good is your word for anything?</p>

<p>futurenyustudent - Good luck dealing with employers, you mindless pig.</p>

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<p>Tell me, why should I justify myself to you? “Why do you do that?” “Because I want to/can/feel like it.” -End of conversation-</p>

<p>At least I’m secure enough in myself that I don’t need to justify myself to my friends. They want reasons? I just gave you one-because I can/felt like it. And at least my friends are secure enough in themselves (or know me enough) to know better than to ask me for reasons. They know they’re not getting one if I don’t feel like explaining myself.</p>

<p>Exactly why should I always have to explain what I do in my own time? Give me ONE good reason. Like you never do anything without a reason/purpose. :rolleyes:</p>

<p>If you want a better reason than “because I felt like it” then you need to pay for my time. You’re lucky you’re getting an explanation for free.</p>

<p>As for employers, what I do off the clock is none of their damn business. I don’t need to explain myself to them when I’m off the clock. I only answer to them when I’m on the clock and getting paid.</p>

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<p>Well that’s a croc of s***. People who are secure with themselves CAN give a simple reason on the spot. You’re taking it as if people are out to get you – which shows how socially inept you are. People just like to strike up conversation. </p>

<p>If you’re afraid they’ll disagree with or criticize your reason, get over it. It is always best to value the opinions of others. When they are being indecent you can be happy with your reason, blow them off, and let it go. When they make a good point, you might have learned something beneficial and you will be glad that person butted in.</p>

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<p>We’ll just have to agree to disagree. I explain my actions at my sole discretion. If I don’t like explaining, you won’t get an explanation. Case closed. If you’re a true friend, you’ll accept me as I am, reason or not. Period. If you find that exercising my sole discretionary right not to explain my actions beyond “I felt like it” is unacceptable to you, then that’s too bad. Now if I asked you why you’d do something and you told me “because I can/I felt like it,” I would accept that.</p>

<p>If you can only trust people who explain their actions, you have bigger problems. Find something better to do than calling someone who exercises their right not to justify themselves to you “crocks of ****.” I don’t answer to you.</p>