<p>Hi, so I live overseas in a place where nearly half of all students go to boarding schools. The rest go to a local school that gets very few students into ivy league colleges. I know that sounds very materialistic, but I really think those colleges can offer me a good education...anyway, I was the only student in the community in years to be accepted at Exeter, but my parents won't let me go. The reason is "You'll be more attractive to Ivy Leagues if you go here!" yeah....right. HELP, how do I convince them that Exeter is better???!!! BTW, I'm a straight A student , really involved in extra curriculars, I work really well under pressure, and I want to go to Exeter because I can learn MORE and BETTER there. thanks!</p>
<p>actually they’re right. If an ivy league college is where you want to go, it’s probably easier where you are. Remember, Ivies can only take maybe 30% percent of the graduating class. It’s also worth mentioning that EVERYONE in the graduating class is extremely bright and probably got straight A’s at their old school as well.</p>
<p>If the OP is referring to only HYP, it’s much lower than 30% that are admitted. </p>
<p>exetergirl2011, if your ultimate goal is to get into Harvard, Princeton or Yale, compare your local school’s success rate to Exeter’s. About a third of the seniors at PEA apply to those schools and while the percentage of applicants who are successful in gaining admittance is higher than normal, it’s also not your typical bunch of applicants. Personally, I think choosing Exeter to fulfill some kind of Ivy League fantasy is the worst possible reason to choose a school. It sounds like your parents are focused more on their college dreams for you than on your desire to learn the most you can. I dont know how to get around that. But please consider that there may be other reasons for their reluctance that they aren’t sharing with you. Maybe they don’t want to see their child so far away? Maybe they have misgivings about the costs? Just remember that they love you and want to do the best the can for you. Are they willing to engage in a conversation about this? Approach them in a calm manner (maybe at dinner) and ask them what their real concern is. Tell them that you promise not to get emotional and try to discuss (in true Harkness fashion
) the situation.</p>
<p>Good luck and I hope that all your dreams come true!</p>
<p>If you don’t mind sharing this kind of information, could you please tell us where you are coming from? Your nationality may have a certain effect on your college admissions… Explain to your parents that not being accepted to HYP is not the end of the world!</p>
<p>Well, im in the middle east, but im an indian with US citizenship. the local school sends maybe…2, 3, 4 kids at most per year to ivy league. and it’s not all about ivy leagues for ME anyway. for my parents, a little. but i care about my learning. My ultimate goal is NOT to reach ivy league, it’s to get a good education. whether that’s at Harvard or not, it doesn’t matter. I want to go to exeter because i can learn there in a way that I haven’t been exposed to yet, a method that forces you to be independent and think for yourself rather than traditional high school lectures. the tuition is not a factor here…My point is, this is not about college for me. It’s about the quality of my education.</p>
<p>So you’re not an international student, right? How many years of high school do you have left? Unless you are a one year-student you should be fine…
What I meant was that you can receive good education outside of Ivy as well…Once you tell the reasons why you want to go to Exeter to your parents, they should become very understanding. Because if they care about the quality of your education, they/you shouldn’t doubt Exeter in any way…
Sorry for being so frank, but where exactly in the middle east do you reside? U.A.E? If you feel comfortable at your current school, then maybe you should stay and finish your high school there…</p>
<p>Exetergirl, going to PEA will be a fabulous opportunity, regardless of where you end up at college. Don’t make this about going to college. This is about having a high school experience that just will not be duplicated at any local school. If you excel at PEA, you will be prepared for any academic setting after that. Stress to your parents that you will make connections at PEA that will benefit you for life and that you will have learning opportunities that you can’t possibily get at home. </p>
<p>And ask your parents if their reluctance is really because they aren’t ready to let you leave home. This may be the real root of the problem. Ask them why they let you apply if they had no intention of letting you go. Parents can think they are ready to let their child go to boarding school, but when faced with the reality, become scared and sad at the idea of actually letting their child leave home. </p>
<p>Tell them that going to Exeter will open doors for you that will never be opened by going to a local day school. That you’ve won an educational lottery ticket and that you should cash in the ticket instead of throwing it away.</p>
<p>^^Agreed. I would emphasize that the study skills you’ll gain at PEA will put you in good academic standing for the rest of your life. Regardless of the name of the college, or the graduate school, you will have the self discipline to succeed in a variety of fields, and a lifetime’s worth of contacts all over the world. Plus, you sound motivated and thoughtful, chances are good you’ll not only survive at PEA but THRIVE.</p>
<p>@exetergirl2011</p>
<p>You can try convince your parents by saying – “All you need to do is writing the checks, and I will do the rest”. Hope this works,but don’t blame me if you get spanked.</p>
<p>Well, the thing is that I’ve spent the last several years waiting for the weakest link in the chain to catch up. I can’t reach my full potential here at home. I try to tell my dad that, but all he can focus on is how much pressure there will be at Exeter.
I had a long talk wit him yesterday…looks like neatoburrito and momb2k were somewhat right–he doesn’t want to see me go, but he also said that he thinks I have nothing left for me here and that it could very well be best for me to leave. (by nothing left I mean that all my friends are going to b.s and I will always be waiting for the last person to catch up.)</p>
<p>But the main reason he didn’t want to send me was because he doesn’t think I can perform well in a “pressure cooker”; he thinks I’ll be so stressed at Exeter that I won’t succeed. I guess what I’m trying to get at is…how can I convince him that I will be fine under that pressure? It’s not like I haven’'t displayed time management skills before, and I’ve displayed time and time again that I actually perform better the more stress I’m under, because I use it as a motivation to work harder. How can I show him that Exeter will be good for me?</p>
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<p>You can’t . . . in the end, your performance at Exeter will speak for itself. That’s the point - it’s not an “all or nothing” kind of thing. You can go for just one year, and it it doesn’t work out,then you can come home again. Just because you start high school at Exeter doesn’t mean you have to stay there for four years. Go for a year and see how it goes. If you do well, you stay. If the pressure turns out to be too much for you, then you come home at the end of the year and go back to your old school. There is no shame in coming home after you’ve tried it for a year.</p>
<p>So, all you have to convince your father to do is let you try it for that first year. Then you show him how well you can perform there!</p>
<p>(Make sure your father understands, though, that doing well at Exeter doesn’t necessarily mean getting all “A’s” - all the students at Exeter are brilliant and not everyone can get perfect grades! So whether or not you get to stay after the first year shouldn’t depend on your grades unless you’re actually failing your classes.)</p>
<p>Thanks, but I already tried that, and he wasn’t too happy. He’s basically treatmg this as an all or nothing game. The thing is that he seems to think I won’t do anything besides my homework but when I try to show him the dance and theater photo galleries and the list of sports offerings he won’t look. He’s just being really stubborn. I feel like every day I’m getting farther and farther away from my dream school. What do you guys think I should show him or tell him about? Something so iresistable about the school that he can’t possibly turn it down. I guess I need someone to show me all the awesome thongs Exeter has that a public school doesn’t.I’m gong to show him this thread so he’ll know how serious I am about this, but if the “convincing” comes from other people maybe he’ll listen more. :D</p>
<p>Sorry for any typos that was all typed on an iPod…:)</p>
<p>actually if you live in a unique international country, you will be more attractive to ivy leagues than a boarding school in new hampshire. it depends on you performance. if you work hard on sats, essays, grades and ecs, then you will stand out among the croud as the “smart girl from saudi arabia (<– i suppose that’s where you’re from because of another thread you posted)” which is so much more unique than “smart girl from exeter” because there are hundreds of those.</p>
<p>i think the only positive thing about exeter college-wise, is it’s courseload will get you used to college (and maybe the prestige of the name). if your local school is really easy and you do good and get into an ivyleague, you may suffer at that ivy league because you’re not used to the typical high education, american courseload.</p>
<p>but if you want to go to exeter because of the prep school experience, and meeting new people, stress those points rather than college to your parents. exeter is EXTREMELY competive, so you might want to consider revisits to know if youll be ready and to see if you can rise to the top on your academic potential. if the school youre going to is easy, and youre doing good, you may end up at exeter getting Bs and Cs. </p>
<p>good luck convincing your parents!</p>