<p>I agree with Gaiou. People get offended way too easily. People are only getting offended because they have a different opinion and gaiou dares to criticize their “perfect” country. There is nothing offensive in her comments (or maybe for some people, but that’s relative isn’t it?), and she brings up very valid points.</p>
<p>Gaoui,</p>
<p>I never felt offended by your comments, maybe in part because I am not easily offended either. I feel you are misguided in your views and, in my opinion (we are still allowed to have them), lack manners. As a guest, you don’t come to somebody else house and rearrange their furniture. Why do you insist on doing this kind of thing on this forum?</p>
<p>I’d like to offer you an analogy. I will never allow anyone to criticize my children to me (rightfully or not). However, they absolutely will be dealt with if they fail to meet my expectations. I hope you see parallel here. It is OK for Americans to criticize their country, but when a foreigner, who does not even want to go back home, starts criticizing it, they will defend their country.</p>
<p>Funny how my last post was way more offensive than hers and nobody said anything. Are people deliberately picking on her because she is a female and she is “supposed” to be more soft-spoken?</p>
<p>^^^^</p>
<p>I deliberately ignored you, because with Gaoui I can at least see myself having a conversation. I did not know she was a female, I missed that part and assumed Gaoui was a male. I am a female myself.</p>
<p>Lerkin: I understand what you mean, the analogy is perfect actually. </p>
<p>I am just a very opinionated person and when I see certain things that I am appalled by, I like to point them out and have a debate. I think it’s nice to raise awareness about certain issues that people may not know about. And I agree, I should be more open-minded; but so should many people on this forum.</p>
<p>What I meant, gaiou37, by suggesting that you insulted people comes from your comment that “finally,” in TV4caster, you have found someone on this forum who has commonsense and can read. The implication is that others who disagree with you cannot read and lack commonsense.</p>
<p>I’m not trying to pick on you, gaiou37; I’m just sharing what I hope is good advice on having productive discussions with people who disagree with you. If you think someone is misreading what you’ve written, you can simply say, “Respectfully, [insert name here], I think you may have misread my post. What I meant to say was …” I don’t get offended easily, either. If you were to spend any time in my office you would see how little I am bothered, for instance, by coarse language or loud, raucous disagreements. But that’s in real life. People can tell from my inflections when I’m joking. Or give me a look if I’m out of line (so I don’t go any further). Or simply discount an irritated outburst because they know and like me. But the only clues to intent in an online forum are words. So it works best if you temper your words a bit in online conversations with strangers. That is, it works best if what you’re interested in is a reasonable exchange of opinion. If you want to rile people up, that’s another matter entirely.</p>
<p>Abseetmarie:
You make a very good point here. I absolutely agree with what you said :)</p>
<p>Gaiou said "“He does not insult them”</p>
<p>Who did I insult here? Seriously? I don’t understand how I actually insulted individuals on this forum"</p>
<p>Saying “it’s nice to see someone with common sense here” is not a great way to be polite. Some people would be offended by that- others might not. BUT… saying “that knows how to read” is very insulting. You are implying (no, actually saying) that everyone else is dumb. Until you get rid of comments like the second one you won’t gain much traction with your arguments, and even getting rid of the first one (or altering it) would help.</p>
<p>I typed this before seem Abs last post which says it perfectly. </p>
<p>Also, Abs, I LOVE your comment about sic “passing your wisdom on as you get older (and being right all the time)”. LOL Are we long lost twins?</p>
<p>Long-lost twins, TV4caster? I’m flattered! You being such a good reader and all …</p>
<h1>“That’s a great point. My guess is that the argument would be that church related giving could easily go to simply paying bills like the mortgage, electricity etc and not be used for outreach or charity. Maybe sort of like your contributions go a lot farther at a charity where 90% goes to programs vs one where 90% goes to overhead???”</h1>
<p>That’s pretty interesting because church-run charities often are more efficient and have FAR LESS overhead than others. That’s why faith-based orgns gained favor as providers of services. They “do more” with less.</p>
<p>Great post, Lerkin</p>
<p>There is nothing offensive in her comments</p>
<p>???</p>
<p>Gaiou’s comment: * It’s nice to finally see someone who has common sense here.*</p>
<p>Well, let’s see.</p>
<p>If Gaiou and a few other young ladies were in a room talking with some guys, and then another gal walks in and a guy loudly proclaims, “It’s nice to see finally see an attractive woman in here,” I can bet that most/all of the other young ladies will know that they’ve been insulted.</p>
<p>I would not feel insulted, but you are making a good point College2collegekids. I should have been more pragmatic and not so blunt. I still think I have made good points, but I definitely need to work on the way I say things :-)</p>
<p>Gaiou, one nice thing about leaving your country for another is that from a different perspective you better understand yourself and your country. </p>
<p>As an earlier poster said about his experience in Spain, he appreciated the differences he discovered. You found how delicious Chinese food can be when in SFO. I think the best thing about the US is that because it is so large and so diverse, there are so many different opinions, tastes, looks, etc. And while everyone has their own opinions, etc., people are largely tolerant of others - especially in person. Also consider that you will certainly change over the course of your life.</p>
<p>So you can dwell on the negative or you can celebrate the positive.</p>
<p>Very true.
I just like to bring out the negative because it makes people think, it raises awareness and then steps can be taken to change what’s negative. People who only see the positive live in an illusion. For example when I have to write a scientific paper, positive criticism is useless, I have to critique it to move things forward.</p>
<p>Gaiou,</p>
<p>LOL… You remind me of myself when I was young: stubborn and thinking that everything is either black or white. </p>
<p>You probably will not believe me now, but you will change over the years. I encourage you to re-read what you wrote in 10 years.</p>
<p>“I just like to bring out the negative because it makes people think, it raises awareness and then steps can be taken to change what’s negative. People who only see the positive live in an illusion.”</p>
<p>I definitely agree that self-criticism it important. But just picking up the newspaper, I see plenty of that. I think people are pretty open and vocal about the problems facing us. What’s harder is to agree on is the solution. One reason for that is because we are so large and diverse.</p>
<p>Of course, seeing that everything is negative is just as bad as seeing everything positive. If you are looking for the perfect country, I’m afraid you won’t find that in Canada or anywhere. But good luck and I hope it’s more to your liking.</p>
<br>
<br>
<p>I’m a gold bug and one thing that you learn is that most gold bugs are
negative people. I’ve also spent many years on bear boards (people
that bet the stock market is going down) and my conclusion is that
they are mostly a sorry lot. These folks short the markets and
sometimes they win but it seems to me that they more often than not,
get clobbered by short squeezes. They can find everything bad about
their country, state, government, behavior and the universe. But they
don’t recognize when good things are happening.</p>
<p>The guys that are positive are the folks that build and create things
and make the improvements that we have in life. Yes, there are checks
and balances by those with a negative personality but if everyone had
a negative personality, I don’t think that we’d get much done or make
much progress.</p>
<p>I agree with the previous posts and I know I will change over the years. I think that I come from a country that is just so different from the US and people have it so good there that I was shocked when I saw what was happening here. I am actually not a negative person, on the contrary people always tell me I am very optimistic, especially considering all the hardships I have faced. None of the negative stuff I have been describing even affects me in this country, it just makes me sad because it touches other people, and well I have morals that just tell me this is very wrong.</p>
<p>I know I will enjoy Canada way better. It doesn’t have to be perfect, just have more postive than negative. Unlike here.</p>
<p>Thanks for everyone who posted, I have definitely learned from all of you :-)</p>
<p>From your post on another thread, I see that the State of California paid your tuition. Now you’ll take your degree to Canada while bashing the country that provided you with an education. Wow…</p>