My dad is an electrical engineer. I’ve always looked up to him and thought his job seemed interesting and exciting. However, until recently I’ve dismissed the possibility of going into engineering for several reasons.
The first is that I’ve never really felt smart enough. My grades have been decent, but never spectacular. A solid mix of A’s, B’s, and C’s. I love to learn, but can’t focus on one thing for long periods of time. I’ve always been pretty good in my science classes, but math was never my strongest subject. My dad, who’s the only engineer I’ve ever met is so smart. He graduated college in three years, was on the deans list, and worked a full time job at the same time. I don’t think I would be capable of handling something like that. I have always felt a pressure to be like him, and becoming an engineer would only increase that pressure.
The second thing is the engineering class I took sophomore year. My dad encouraged me to take it. I got good grades in that class, but did not enjoy it at all. All we learned was CAD, which was really boring. After that I had the fear that that was what engineering really was. It was a PLTW course, but I’m pretty sure we didn’t follow the curriculum. Honestly, since we have an actual CAD class at our school, why did we have the engineering class in the first place? I was recommended to take another PLTW course this year, but declined.
The third thing is other people’s opinions. I know this shouldn’t bother me, but it’s been ingrained into my head since middle school that I should teach elementary school. I’m really awkward around people I don’t know and my only “talents” are my singing voice (which isn’t going to take me anywhere), and how well I work with children. I do love kids. I’ve been a counselor at summer camps and babysat ever since I was 13, so it had always seemed like a good fit for me. No one ever thought I could do better than that, so I accepted it.
What has made me change my mind is my honors physics class. I almost didn’t take it because everyone said I wouldn’t like it. Now that I’m in it, I wish I had signed up for AP! I have fallen in love with physics, which surprised literally everyone except my dad. It is the first class in high school that completely makes sense to me. My teacher has already asked if I wanted to take AP Physics II next year. The class has given me so much more confidence and has made me feel “smart” for the first time.
Now I’m in a debate with myself over two completely different paths in life. Would a shy, not academically confident girl be able to handle herself in an engineering major? Would I even be able to get into a decent engineering program with my grades? (I was thinking UMass Lowell since it’s pretty close and isn’t SUPER selective) Or should I settle for what I’m good at and end up with a crappy paying job as an elementary school teacher?