Could someone please help/offer suggestions for my Gov school essay??

<p>especially the final paragraph... I really need work on that and I need help...Thanks in advance.. just pm me. Oh, please- no virginians.</p>

<p>bumpppbumpppp</p>

<p>I can read it if you want. I'm a current govschool student in senior year.</p>

<p>I can read your essay. I went to Gov school last year!!</p>