Could someone read my UPenn supplement?

<p>Yeah I know it's getting to be crunch time but I desperately need feedback on this; I'm not sure if it's any good or not or if I'm doing it wrong :P In all seriousness I think I'm on the right track but I want tips on how to make it a LOT better.</p>

<p>If you wouldn't mind reading my essay, just shoot me a PM with your email address and I'll share it to you on Drive or send you a .docx as an attachment. Just let me know which you prefer. Thanks bunches you guys!</p>