<p>I would have liked S1 to have attended my alma mater, he applied, and was admitted. But of all the schools he was admitted to, it came back with by far the worst FA offer. Net cost to attend it would have $15k/yr higher than the other schools, which are certainly its equals in terms of selectivity. So much for a legacy effect.</p>
<p>Important to keep in mind: legacy, at colleges, means taking kids who can bring money to the school beyond tuition. Legacy needing aid is an oxymoron. Unfortunate, but true.</p>
<p>Do you make a donation looking to derive some personal benefits?</p>
<p>No, when we donate, we donate with no ulterior motives. And yes, both H and I donate to our private alma maters because we are grateful for the education we received and want to help some other students. </p>
<p>For my kids, they went to different schools with us paying full freight and yes, they are donating to their own schools so someone else can benefit.</p>
<p>The LAC my husband and I attended was our son’s second choice. He got into his first choice LAC, and we will be eating lentils for the next ten years so that he can attend without incurring huge amounts of debt. We want him to have the same opportunity that we did, but I am appalled at the cost. The real kicker was when his school included information on “opportunities for additional giving” (beyond $52,000 per year for tuition, room and board) in the parent orientation package.</p>
<p>Only if we were willing to live on rice and beans for many years.</p>
<p>Fortunately, my alma mater doesn’t offer Happykid’s major and so was never remotely on the radar.</p>
<p>Whew!</p>
<p>My S graduated from our in-state flagship & I graduated from an out-of-state flagship. It would have been cheaper to send our kids to one of those schools than the private they are currently attending, so yes, we COULD have sent them but are happy they went where they have been thriving.</p>
<p>One more funny fact about my Alma Mater - It could have possibly been a good fit for my oldest, but the OOS made it a non-starter. After ALL of my kids were in college, they suddenly decided to offer full tuition for NMS. Too late, but not too little.</p>
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No, but when I perceive that the institution I am aiding is no longer adequately fulfilling its mission in a manner acceptable to me, then I can no longer support it.</p>
<p>And I am not convinced that educating students is the primary mission of my school any more. They seem more interested in building expensive, grandiose buildings, giving themselves ever-increasing pay and benefits (the president of my school now travels with bodyguards. ***???), squeezing as much money as they can out of students (they just recently started requiring students to live on campus for two years - too many kids were moving off-campus after freshman year because r+b costs over $12K/year).</p>
<p>All the while, pushing the cost up so far and so fast, that without significant merit aid I could not afford to send my kid there.</p>
<p>I cannot support them any more.</p>
<p>Obviously you don’t give charitably just in order to derive a reflex benefit. However, I don’t think that donations to individual colleges are in the same category as giving to soup kitchens, disaster assistance, disease research funds, general scholarship funds etc. There are plenty of opportunities for selfless philanthropy. Alumni donations, however, are never entirely without some reference to self-interest, even if it’s not precisely a desire to ensure your child’s acceptance. Alumni donations enhance the prestige of your school; they strengthen your affiliation with a tribe of like-minded people; they reinforce whatever social signalling your alma mater provides. I have said that I am grateful for the education I received, but it wasn’t a charitable service or a favor to me. I don’t see why I have to be eternally grateful to the institution that took my parents’ money in exchange for services rendered, like any other business. It’s my parents I’m grateful for. </p>
<p>I frankly do not believe that many private colleges have been good stewards of their resources. Just as I would not give to a corrupt charity, I would not want to give to an institution that has demonstrated irresponsible use of its resources and cannot balance its books without demanding debt slavery from half of its clients.</p>
<p>“you should think long and hard about helping to pay for the education of someone elses child at your alma mater.”</p>
<p>That’s 99% of why I give. I typically give to the restricted financial aid fund. My alma mater gives only need-based aid. I want other people’s children to be able to attend the best schools even if their parents aren’t well off like mine (I consider everyone who pays full freight for four years to be well off).</p>
<p>It’s a token amount, but I give it every single year. I’m a little troubled by the apparent idea that it’s a waste of money to help educate someone else’s child.</p>
<p>hanna: i find it troubling too. unfortunately this idea seems to be a recurring theme on the parents forum. sad.</p>
<p>I think that at different times of your life, you will find different causes to which you want to contribute. My MIL who is in her 80s still likes to contribute to her tiny all women’s Catholic college where she went. I have all boys, and so the possibility of any of them going there is just about as close to zilch as one could get. Also it is just not the type of school any of them would want. But she contributes.</p>
<p>Maybe when my kids are done with all of this, and if we have the extra money to consider this type of charitable giving, our alma mater will make the list. Right now it makes no sense for us to send them money when we are struggling to pay for our kids, and they are not candidates for that college anyways. We just don’t have that luxury. Some years ago,we did contribute $100 at our 20th reunion, I believe and like amounts sporadically through the years. But that was before our kids were in private schools, activities that need to be funded and are looking at colleges that are really going hit us hard financially. </p>
<p>One of the reasons that legacies are given extra consideration in the application process is that if alums feel that the treatment of their kids is a bum’s rush, they are not likely to contribute to the school even if they can. The bigger the development purse, the more of an impact it could have on a school. Also the chatter and talk about the issue as we are doing now can reduce contributions. Over large number of alums, it can make a big difference.</p>
<p>My good friend’s H has contributed what I consider a significant amount to Dartmouth over the years. For special collections and anniversaries, he really dug into his accounts to give a nice contribution. No more. They rejected his daughter five years ago, and they have not seen a dime since, and they are not likely to ever see any more money. It really soured him on the school since his D was really Dartmouth qualified, in other words, a student that one would not have been surprised if she were accepted even without the legacy situation. A UVA alum has severed his ties with the school after, again, his very qualified son was not accepted for, in my opinion an anemic reason that has affected UVA apps from that private school. The other kids did not bother to apply to UVA which did give them a bit of a sting since one of them was a highly sought football player and the other a truly top, top student who is currently going to Columbia. Before the episode with the oldest, those kids were set on going to UVA, and the university was firmly entrenched in their family lives. No more. Not only that , so burned, they, and I, for one, have stopped contributing to schools unless there is an immediate, direct benefit. I have no intention of being stung that way. I don’t even contribute to annual funds from my kids’ schools. I’ll wait till all the chips are in and see who I feel should get my contributions.</p>
<p>S2 is not applying to his father’s alma mater. He’s a legacy several times over. Academically S2 qualifies for a full ride. They do not offer his major (aero engineering). Believe it or not, this has caused several scuffles between H and I. I will not send S2s scores, transcripts etc. I am not going to make my son choose, out of guilt, between a free education and the career that he wants. It’s not happening. S2 has no idea these conversations have happened.</p>
<p>Although H has very strong family ties to his alma mater, we have not donated heavily to the university so that’s not the issue. It’s simply the allure of pride of one of his boys attending his school…and the free ride isn’t bad either.</p>
<p>Ugghh. Hoping I’ve had the last of that conversation.</p>
<p>Hanna, no one is saying it’s a waste of money to help someone else’s child get an education. If you are wealthy and can pay for your own child’s education without taking on debt, plus assist someone else, that’s great and laudable. However, if you’re expected to borrow so that you can give, that’s silly. Why would anyone want to punish their own offspring (in a financial sense) to help someone else’s kid? That is essentially what attendance at my alma mater for my child would require.</p>
<p>Everyone’s situation is different. I’m griping about mine.</p>
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<p>While I see your point (and I agree - it’s my parents I’m grateful for), I’m unclear how alumni donations, when given privately, reinforce social signalling. Who the heck knows, unless you’re endowing a building or a scholarship?</p>
<p>If the reason is to make sure that kids have the funds to go to college when they don’t have the money, donating to your alma mater might not be the best way to expand that pool. Schools with high Pell grant recipients and who take a lot of fin aid kids such as the local and community colleges are the ones that serve kids that are really under finanical fire in terms of college cost.</p>
<p>Point taken, Pizzagirl. I should have said, “may reinforce whatever social signalling your alma mater provides.” What I’m trying to convey is that I don’t believe that alumni giving is an ethical imperative the way that other forms of charitable giving are.</p>
<p>And I completely agree with you, cpt. The kids who most need the money to go to school are not likely to be attending expensive privates anyway.</p>
<p>I may mellow in older age and wax nostalgic. Maybe go to the reunions and catch up with old classmates, and hopefully then I’ll be in financial condition to make a donation to my alma mater if I so chose to do so.</p>
<p>Post #52 looks like it’s trying to convince me that people with a particular set of values exist. I know they exist. I know there are lots of them. I disagree with them. When I give money away, I’m not looking for an “immediate, direct benefit” for me and my family.</p>
<p>I think it’s kind of a shame that the Dartmouth family you describe got the benefit of a charitable tax deduction for all the money they gave to Dartmouth, when clearly they didn’t view it as charity, but as a tuition surcharge paid in advance. No wonder that dad is mad; he thought that “gift” was a euphemism, and it wasn’t.</p>
<p>Community colleges are important. Dartmouth is important too, insofar as it takes poor kids and rockets them into the upper middle class. The reason mine is a token annual donation is because my alma mater is rich – giving $20 to the financial aid fund is a way to let them know that I think it ought to be their first priority. If you want to get the most bang for your charitable buck, you shouldn’t spend it in the U.S. at all; send it to Africa.</p>
<p>Yes, schools like Dartmouth routinely rocket poor kids into the upper middle class. Increasingly they are also rocketing families out of the upper middle class at the same time. The way one sees it may depend on what side of the equation one is on. Colleges appeal to tribal loyalty among alumni to raise funds. At the same time, they present themselves as engines of upward mobility and social inclusiveness. Sometimes these marketing messages conflict.</p>