<p>And if so, to what extent? </p>
<p>Would you mope for a month? Would you vow never to donate to the school again?</p>
<p>this happened to friends of mine - they both attended the same college that rejected their DS, who was a very good student. Yes, they were angry.</p>
<p>Nah, I never really liked that school anyway. . . ;)</p>
<p>Yes I would be upset,
No I would not mopped around,
And I would not have given money in the first place. I would have put the money aside towards my child education.</p>
<p>I decline to answer this question until my younger kid is in college…</p>
<p>No. Legacy status offers a slight advantage. It’s no guarantee of admission.</p>
<p>Only when the alumni fund called later that same week asking for cash. :)</p>
<p>Well, they waitlisted S. But he had already rejected them.</p>
<p>D isn’t even applying there. Gotta admit, I wasn’t impressed after we did the tour, there. The feeling has really changed since I was there. If she does apply, and they reject her, I’d be surprised, but not upset.</p>
<p>My wife and I graduated from the same university. Both of our children were rejected there. Both were clearly qualified, one extremely well-qualified.</p>
<p>Of course we felt angry, especially after the second rejection (which was the more surprising one). We didn’t mope around, but we felt a real sense of loss of connection to it (my wife more than I). We were realistic in our expectations, and knew that lots of our friends’ well-qualified kids had also been rejected (and some admitted), so it didn’t exactly take us by surprise. But that didn’t cushion the blow much.</p>
<p>We stopped giving money. Not that we had ever given a huge amount, or that we thought we had been giving with the expectation that our kids would be admitted. But we no longer felt the connection that made us want to support it. The amounts that we used to give got diverted to the college our kids attended, with which we feel a much stronger connection right now.</p>
<p>H and I had such an underwhelming experience at our public, directional school alma mater that we have asked the kids NOT to apply. They’re OK with that.</p>
<p>If they did apply and were rejected, I think we’d be shocked and privately glad, but not angry. Both kids are far stronger applicants than we ever were and far above today’s 75%. If they can’t get in, there’s something wrong at the school…which justifies our original dislike for it.</p>
<p>Goodness no (and it’s a double legacy). I thought older son had a pretty good chance of getting in and he did. Younger son doesn’t have the grades, his Dad keeps saying he should throw an application in, but I’d be astounded if they accepted him.</p>
<p>Surprisingly the rejection that most bothered my was when dh’s grad school rejected son. It wasn’t even the best school under his criteria, but it felt like such a good fit when he visited. In the end he’s at a school (not the legacy) which is an even better fit.</p>
<p>It would be pretty hard not to be annoyed, especially if you felt your child was qualified. If you knew it was a real reach, maybe not so much.</p>
<p>I thought my D was a great fit for my alma mater but she didn’t apply. I think she would have been a clear-cut admit without legacy status (or in spite of it!) But we were underwhelmed when she finally got a letter from them that said “let your mom tell you all about her days at xxxx College!” Well, that was more than 20 years ago and I haven’t been back to campus since graduation. I was a history major, she’s a science nerd. No real effort to interest her in the school at all. Made me wonder why I was giving money at all if they took D’s interest as a given with no effort on their part to interest her in the school at all.</p>
<p>Angry, no. Shocked, yes.</p>
<p>What she said. </p>
<p>Given that a person could probably get into my alma mater with the score that you receive by writing your name on the ACT test form, I’d be shocked.</p>
<p>My D worked for two years as a paid called for the consulting group that did fundraising for her college. She said that the worst phone calls were those where she got an alum whose child had been rejected. Most alums in that position were angry/annoyed/bitter–and none of them gave money again. I think the firm developed a response for callers to use, but D said it was incredibly lame. She said she’d listen to the person rant (if he/she didn’t just hang-up) and then say “sorry to bother you”.</p>
<p>This happened to a friend whose daughter applied ED to an Ivy, the mom’s alma mater. The daughter was deferred into the RD round, then waitlisted. The mom was really angry because the daughter was extremely well-qualified. The daughter was then accepted RD to another Ivy, Harvard. The mother didn’t overreact because she had a younger son who she thought might be interested in her alma mater. He was admitted.</p>
<p>I admit that I didn’t have the experience–I kind of had the reverse experience in fact. </p>
<p>Frankly, I think it is amazingly immature to stop giving $. Sure I’d be disappointed. Sure I’d mope. But I give (modestly) to my alma mater for what it did for ME!!!–not in the hope that my donations would grease the way for my kid. </p>
<p>One reason my kid did NOT apply to my alma mater was that kid did not want to go through 4 years listening to “oh, you only got in 'cause you’re a legacy.” When I’ve said that to kids who call on behalf of the annual fund, they always react with something like “Good for your kid,” “That is SO cool,” or “I really respect your kid.” </p>
<p>My alma mater is one of a surprising # of top colleges that have set up special college admissions counseling for the children of alums. It also holds a lot of admissions sessions around the country limited to alums and their children/granchildren. The school has found that givng some help during the process has lessened the # of alums who stop giving after their kids/grandkids don’t get in. When you hear the news that Muffy or Chip is unlikely to get in and get help in figuring out which college may be a good fit, there’s less anger when the thin envelope arrives. (Some alums really just don’t “get” how much more competitive it is now.)</p>
<p>It’s easy to figure out where JHS went to college. (It’s not my alma mater.) it’s a highly selective school and reality is that it gives a tip to legacies. The legacy admit rate is over 4 times that of regular applicants. I’'m not trying to argue the merits of the decision to reject his kids, but I say that in defense of the college.</p>
<p>Remember that a generation ago, 90% of the alums of these colleges were whites. There’s only so much room for white kids from affluent homes in the Northeast (especially suburbs) with two college-educated parents who are not recruited athletes or EXTRAORINDARILY qualified–USAMO, Academy-award winning actors, Intel top 40, etc. That’s the category most legacy kids fit within. They can’t take all of them–or there would be no non-legaicies in that group at the college.</p>
<p>I think I would be angry. Neither of my two applied and I doubt my third will apply, but I would be angry if it happened and the kids were well qualified. My college roommate was third generation and I “saw” then how the school capitalized on the publicity surrounding legacies and they still do to this day with other legacy families, with the family pictures, the mentions at reunions, homecomings, graduations, the alumni magazine. This isn’t so prevalent at the big state schools but certainly at the small LACs. Colleges can’t have it “both ways” by giving lip service to the importance of legacy status with no “walk the talk.” I appreciate that colleges these days are frantically striving to “have it all”: the best students, geographic diversity, ethnic diversity, strong international presence, the “hot programming” but at some point you simply can’t “have it all” and the colleges need to decide “who they” want to serve and who their customer really is. It is a watershed period of time, but I think that over the next decade the dust will settle and differentiation will occur between the colleges once again especially once the boomlet is over.</p>
<p>Angry? Maybe, but I doubt it. I think I wouldn’t donate anymore, though. Why should I pay to have other people’s children educated. Of course I have a younger D who might still be interested.</p>