Could you afford to send your child to your alma mater?

Parent Cafe
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<p>Let’s think about this a bit. If every selective college just went straight to its legacy pool first and foremost, what do you think the socioeconomic representation of the resulting classes would be? Would that be desirable? Are you sending your kid to hang out with other legacy kids, or with a broader crowd? </p>

<p>Hey, I’d LOVE my kids to get into my alma mater based on legacy, LOL. But I’m not counting on it, and I will fully understand why that doesn’t make them shoo-ins and why it shouldn’t make them shoo-ins. My parents paid for my education and H’s parents paid for his; it wasn’t a down payment on my kids’ acceptance.</p>

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<p>Sorry, but I have. I have a kid that was flat out rejected from one school that was much less competitive than the one that accepted him. I’ve seen this happen a lot. Usually not with legacies. In fact, very rarely with legacies. That is why this stinks. But in the admissions crunch, some crazy things happen. This case was appealed along with another legacy case that was really stupid on part of a school, and there was no budging.</p>

<p>I have found Dartmouth’s admissions policies unbalanced as whole. More so than the other ivies, over the years I have just empirically noticed. It is a smaller school than the rest so they do not have as much leeway.</p>

<p>As for race/ethnicity being a factor in admissions, I think it is a matter of fact. I’ve known African American and Hispanic families out and out say that they are hoping that it is enough of a tip to get their child into a particular school. To get the diversity they want, schools do have to use these factors in making admissions decisions. I know a young Hispanic woman who was accepted to Columbia this year, and know her profile and her parents well. Wonderful young lady, but without being Hispanic, I cannot see how she would have been accepted to the schools that accepted her. Parents know this as does she. She went to a small school in NYC, and everyone knows who got in where. She was not the val, sal or even third in the class, not the most difficult courses, and SAT scores in the lower quarter. Not first generation to go to college --both parents have advanced degrees, and not low income or challenged.</p>

<p>Two of my sons went to a school that kept record of who applied to schools over the last 10 years and what the outcome was. Like Naviance but with far more info with legacy, athletic, performing arts, sex, URM, first generation to go to college, other factors such as celebrity, development, challenge all indicated. It is very clear that the race card holds weight. </p>

<p>I don’t know anyone who resents those with challenges such as financially disadvantaged, traumatic life, first generation in college, going to a horrible high school in a dangerous neighborhood getting leeway in admissions. To level the playing field for such kids who are competing for a spot against those who were born with the aim of going ivy for college, such kids cannot be assessed equally. But that is not what happens a lot of time. Most of the affirmative action admits to highly selective schools that I know are from families that are well to do (better off than we are) and well educated. To get diversity, this is still necessary; maybe the next generation will not have this issue. Also URMs rarely have the legacy advantage since historically they have not had places in such schools in proportionate numbers.</p>

<p>I looked at the supplemented “Naviance” data again this year. I don’t know the kids anymore since I don’t have anyone at the school, but the trends are pretty clear I also saw a Middlebury rejection with a kid accepted to Georgetown and Williams. The NYT followed a group of kids who were applying to super select schools one season and the results though in general were predictable and consistent, there were several surprises. </p>

<p>Glido, most of us here in NY are aware of the extra challenge of being from an area where there are so many highly qualified kids vying for a spot at the same schools. We are very aware of the fact that schools are looking for diversity, male/female parity, ethnic and racial representation, geographics all over the country. For international, the schools want diversity too, and coming from an over represent country is not going to be helpful for admissions. Not a quota system here, but these factors do have an impact.</p>

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<p>Pizzagirl, yes, colleges do offer affirmative action to legacies. Some more so than others. And there is very good reason to do so which has been extensively discussed here. Colleges also offer AA to athletes, development students, celebrities. It is in their best interest to do so. The stats are very clear that this happens. Only about a third of the class in the most selective schools are admitted due to academic excellence alone, a stat that HPY has affirmed many times.</p>

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<p>I think in decades to come, the pendulum will swing away from affirmative action and the notion of trying, artificially, to build diversity for its own sake…and more toward admissions decisions based on an individual’s demonstrated performance and character. I look forward to that day.</p>

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<p>Doesn’t seem any different from a legacy family saying that they hope it’s enough of a tip to get their child into a particular school!</p>

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<p>But even leaving aside race and URM status, this happens a lot. College admissions isn’t something where you accumulate X number of points and if you get 85, you get into WashU, 90 at Cornell, 95 at Harvard. It’s quite possible that a kid could be accepted at a more competitive school and turned down at a less competitive one. I’m not sure what’s so surprising about that, unless I’m missing something.</p>

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<p>Come to think about it, my parents could not afford to send me to my alma mater. I was on financial aid, merit scholarships and outside grants in order to make it happen. I guess we have made some progress in that we are not eligible for financial aid as my parents were. </p>

<p>We made a number of choices, inadvertantly and deliberately that have put us in this position. Fewer kids, if I had worked, if we had gotten a smaller house, spent less money, saved more, lived more prudently all along, not just during the years when a crunch hit, not put our kids in private school for elementary, middle, high school; all of these things are reasons why we cannot afford a $60k COA. Why should we blame our college? </p>

<p>I am disappointed that costs have skyrocketed so quickly and acutely and feel that the colleges are to blame for this. Instead of working to contain costs, most schools have expanded their facilities and “empires”. But my school is not alone in doing this.</p>

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<p>I went to my alma mater through FA. We are able to send out kids to our alma mater, and for our kids to go to private schools for 13 years. Our old daughter said she has appreciated her experience at her private school (more so than her college), and if she could afford it, it is something she would like to be able to do for her kids some day.</p>

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<p>knew it was only a matter of time before this thread took a ‘politely’ racist turn. and, no, i’m not talking about hanna or pizzagirl’s comments, which do mention race. </p>

<p>how many times can some of y’all go round and round griping/resenting/bemoaning the same junk? to read some of u, u’d swear that there were NO high stats, academically talented folks of color in colleges and universities in this country. everybody took a seat from a well-deserving white kid. how racist can u get???</p>

<p>hate to break it to the college confidential experts on race and college admissions: YOU ARE WRONG!!!</p>

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<p>I suppose I should mention why I didn’t answer the OP- " well one D attended a private LAC and her sister is attending an instate U, but neither H or I have attended a 4 yr college let alone graduated from one- so no alma ( or mater either)</p>

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<p>It stinks when your kid or the child of people you know does not get accepted to the alma mater, especially when the parents are involved volunteers and the kid is qualified (and ends up at peer or better schools.) But unless you want your kid attending a college where 90% of the class comes from Scarsdale, Highland Park, Great Neck, Belmont and Atherton… that’s the price you pay.</p>

<p>At my last college reunion there was significant whining about the lack of legacy tip in the process, especially when the kids ended up at comparable schools with no legacy advantage. I didn’t have a dog in the race- my kids were not interested in my or spouse’s alma mater. But my observation was that legacy is advantageous if you live in a geographically under-represented place (i.e. if you’re applying to Brown from Tulsa, Oklahoma and you are “qualified” on paper, your legacy status will push you over the edge); if your parents are famous and/or mega generous (i.e. not the $500 to the annual fund generous that many of my classmates assumed would put them in the “major donor” category); or if you bring an unusual profile to the table (parents are Missionaries and you grew up in Bora Bora; your first concerto was performed at Carnegie Hall last year).</p>

<p>If you are the “run of the mill” legacy like the kids of so many of my classmates (high stats, good or even great EC’s) and you’ve sent your kids to the kind of HS which produces 30+ applicants to top schools… assume that legacy is so tiny a factor as to be non-existent. Nickels to dimes there is a more interesting kid or more desirable kid from your area who is applying and legacy will get your kid a second read but nothing more.</p>

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<p>Personally, I wouldn’t have wanted a legacy tip, I would have wanted to get into a school entirely on my own merit. It would eat at me (probably) forever if I knew, or even suspected, I got in in part because of my parents’ attendance or donation history or whatever. That has nothing to do with <em>me</em>. If Dartmouth or any other school doesn’t want me for what I bring… f’ em. Maybe that’s just me.</p>

<p>It wasn’t an issue for me because my parents didn’t really go to college (my father went to night school at a local college, I don’t think he ever got a degree). But if they had, and had told me “since I went there you’ll have an advantage” I probably would not have even applied there.</p>

<p>And quite honestly, I think many parents are partially to blame, because we encourage our kids to apply to so many schools. I applied to 5 back in the day; now 15 or more seems to be typical. There’s so many kids applying to all the top schools without there being real interest, IMO. I know kids, for example, who applied to <em>all</em> the Ivies. Why? This makes no sense, they are so different. But it ups the level of competition, and unimportant criteria like legacy status (which tells you nothing about the kid) are just dropped on the floor.</p>

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<p>“Hanna: Why do you bring up race?”</p>

<p>Because I was asked a question about applicants with a different “background” and lower scores than my child getting an admissions preference. There’s race all over that question. We know what kinds of “background” are relevant to college admissions preferences – race is a big part of that picture. Not the only part, but an important part.</p>

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<p>Why corner Hanna on race? It is no secret that being a URM is a hook at top colleges.</p>

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<p>Short answer to the OP’s original question: No.</p>

<p>When I went to my alma mater (Georgia Tech), tuition was $133 a quarter (in-state), $333 a quarter (OOS). The dorm was $80 a quarter, and a full meal plan was $140 a quarter. So, less than $1700 for a full year’s tuition, dorm, and meals for an OOS student like me.</p>

<p>(now, the same is almost $36,000)</p>

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<p>"Oh, so you believe the college owes all legacy kids who are in the reasonable ballpark for acceptance, an acceptance? </p>

<p>It seems like you’re against affirmative action – unless it’s for legacies, and then it’s fine and dandy."</p>

<p>Pizzagirl: You are building up a strawman, just to knock it down and thump your chest.</p>

<p>I have never advocated affirmative action for legacies.</p>

<p>I merely said that one should think long and hard before donating to an alma mater that is biased against the values you have worked hard to intill in your own child ( and manifest that bias by penalizing your child in the application process). equal treatment for all is not affirmative action for legacies. </p>

<p>If you want to donate your money to a school that rejected your child because of the environment which you created for her, despite her having competitive grades, test scores, essays and ECs, knock yourself out.</p>

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<p>“Why corner Hanna on race? It is no secret that being a URM is a hook at top colleges.”</p>

<p>Because the topic of the thread is making donations to alma mater’s that reject well qualified children of alumni, not affirmative action for applicants from some racial groups.</p>

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<p>^^^ No, that wasn’t the original topic of this thread.

The topic of the thread was originally about making donations to an alma mater when you don’t think you could afford to send your kid there. Read the title of the thread: Can you <em>afford</em> to send your child to your alma mater? It wasn’t started to discus the merits of legacies, or URMs, or anything about acceptances. </p>

<p>I AM sending my kid to my (and DH’s) alma mater. It costs 4 times what it did when I attended, and we didn’t get any financial aid until this year, when S will be a senior and his little sister will be a freshman at another college. I’d have paid the same for any other college I felt was as good for S as this one is. He loves it and he’s learning a ton.</p>

<p>We have always donated a SMALL amount every year, and that small amount has been cut in half since we’ve been paying tuition. I don’t care whether S got in because of his own merits or his legacy status - he’s got a 3.8 GPA and has been invited to do an honors thesis next year. So he’s clearly qualified to be there.</p>

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<p>About the only school to which I can afford to send S is my alma mater - a big reason why he’s going there.</p>

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<p>Our son received an offer of a full-tuition scholarship at my alma mater, so yes, we could have afforded to send him. He is smarter than I was and he certainly worked harder!</p>