It is a (negative) lottery. Your friend may be taking more lottery tickets than others, but has gotten lucky in that none of them have given the prize. Meanwhile, some others may have taken few lottery tickets by being more careful, but gotten unlucky in that one of the tickets gave them the prize.
But also note that some people who are trying to be more careful may not be being careful in the areas that have the most effect. For example, sanitizing everything but not realizing that enclosed shared spaces and continuous close presence are much greater risks.
Also, there is a “trust” factor. Many people trust that people they know will not try to harm them, so they may be more relaxed at risk mitigation in the presence of people they know versus around the general public. However, the virus does not obey trust relationships, and probably exploits them in this manner.
Luck is always a factor in life. If the virus isn’t around a person, one can’t catch it no matter what they do. If the virus is around, esp from a super spreader, a small slip up can make the difference.
Then there’s luck in how the body handles the virus too - everything from asymptomatic to death.
One other aspect that could come into play… I know several people who claim they don’t go anywhere, yet when I see them in action they are often going places such as stores for a “needed” item, the post office to mail something, or to chat with a neighbor - going out several times per week. When I go to stores I’ve always seen people both without masks and wearing masks below their noses. This protects no one if they have the virus. Wearing a mask only helps if it’s done correctly with all people, esp those infected.
Thanks everyone for the good wishes. It’s just a waiting game right now to see the blood thinners can do the job. The person who brought it into the house was someone who was like family to them. She was also the healthcare aide for the invalid grandmother and my Mom both of whom died. I know they were not so disciplined with masks in the home. So please- before you consider having non-residents in your home ensure everyone will wear the masks and keep their distance, no matter who they are.
Seems like the “getting together with her friends for drinks and dinners”, particularly if in indoor restaurants or similar locations, is her big risk factor (compared to playing golf and tennis, which can be done while maintaining substantial distance from others’ exhaled breath). Drinking alcohol also likely alters judgement toward an increased tendency to take risks.
The fact is that the vast majority of people do NOT have COVID. It is a risk to be around anyone at all, but it’s a pretty small risk. However, the consequences are big. No one wants this virus.
Her husband has not been sick at all and noone else that she has been around. we are part of the social circle, though i will only socialize with her outdoors ; she is my husbands “sister” so we would actually know as we also know her other friends. She wants to throw my husband a birthday party next weekend and we have put our foot down.
It hit home when my mother died alone in her AL facility.
It hits home every time we try to FaceTime with MIL who is deep in dementia, and not one family member has seen or touched her in 8+ months
-It hit home when the governors for our Western states shut down our business
-It hit home when my postpartum daughter suffered depression because she could not do any of the normal things new mothers do.
-It hit home when we realize our baby granddaughter is prevented from developing normal immunity that comes from normal exposures
-It hit home when we've postponed hubby's knee surgery - again - because the thought of him going into a hospital setting without an advocate (me) is terrifying.
-It hit home when my good friend's 2 year old nephew was snatched back from giving her a hug.
It hit home when I found our my small school district - of 2300 K-12 students - has lost 220 students since the beginning of this 'school' year.
It hit home when I see, hear and encounter the learning pods and private tutoring sessions happening around town.
If it hasn't hit 'home' for you - you haven't been paying attention.
I think “it hit home” and “it hit too close to home” have related but not the same meanings. But in any case, all condolences for the losses you have sustained.
I too wish my granddaughter could have normal interactions. Now that her mom, my D, is pregnant again, our whole family will redouble our efforts to stay healthy and safe, which will mean continued isolation. There is just too much uncertainty about the effect on pregnant women and their fetuses.
I wish this were different, and I hope we start making it so, and it’s a dang shame that these other restrictions are necessary.
^Similar to the way the blackout restrictions “hit home” for people during the Blitz. Those rules lasted over five years. Crime went up as did vehicular accidents. Merchant seamen quite often fell off docks and drowned, too.
I still recall numerous stories from my grandparents about the Great Depression and WWII both disrupting life for oodles of years, the latter with some never returning.
More recently I recall tales from the refugees who have come to our school from mostly war torn areas - their lives severely disrupted, never to return to what they knew as normal.
It makes me thankful my family “only” has to deal with Covid - so far anyway - and I hope world issues don’t send it into war.
For me, it helps to put things into perspective, though I still find myself wishing we were in New Zealand or Australia. One can’t help but wish things were better I think.
I don’t know if this is the right place to put this (right now I have no idea where any particular conversation goes on this site) If it isn’t, please move or delete instead of warning me to stay on topic.
But if you’ve had to go into the hospital or had a loved one go into the hospital, what is the procedure? My husband recently had two procedures. One was in an out patient surgery center. I wasn’t allowed back or with him. I had to wait in the car and they called me to pick him up. I was waiting 3 hours.
The other procedure was in a hospital and I was allowed to accompany my husband except into the operating room. I was masked the entire time but it was comforting for both of us.
My daughter’s boyfriend had surgery last week in a completely different area of the country and it was like my husband’s first procedure. Daughter dropped him off and picked him up. She lives close to the hospital so went home but did end up waiting in the car for over an hour after she was told he would be done momentarily.
I keep hearing different stories about this and am wondering what other people’s are experiencing.
Regarding hubby’s needed knee replacements…
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As it stands today I would have to drop him at the door of the facility and wave ‘bye-bye’. Depending on his post surgery recovery he will spend 1-2 nights in the hospital. I can not visit, I can not be there when they give the discharge orders (will get a list of instructions in his ‘exit package’).
In conversations with his doctor I expressed my deep concern. While still parroting the company line, the surgeon did agree it is very suboptimal not to have family present during all parts except the actual procedure. It’s just ‘what we are stuck with at the moment’. I’m hoping there is a loosening of the rules and regs by January.
When DH had knee replacement done in May I had to drop him at the door and pick him up there the next day. Although they kept me updated with text messages it was still suboptimal because he did not remember his instructions were in his bag until the next day. Much frustration could have been avoided if I had been there then. S 3 had emergency surgery last week. I could be with him in emergency room, both of us masked, but was kicked out when he was sent to OR. Also suboptimal. They called the home phone instead of my cell phone to report status. They did not call cell until he was awake enough to tell them. Even though I confirmed my cell number in the ER. I wish they would just do the same rapid test on the escort as they did on the patient and let us be there.
@Singersmom07 the calling of the house phone! It’s driving me batty! My husband doesn’t even know the house phones number and they insist on calling it.
The doctor calls and I’m either not home or don’t answer the house phone. I call the office and tell them again that my cell is the preferred contact number. Then I sit at home waiting for the call because that message doesn’t get forwarded. We’ve had a bunch of medical issues this year and a bunch of waiting around.
I know they ask for two forms of contact, I think I’m going to leave the home phone off from now on. We only still have the landline because my husband takes call and the landline is more convenient
It’s certainly still the case here that you can’t go in to accompany a spouse/friend for surgery. I have a friend in the hospital right now and I’m reduced to FaceTime and texting her dumb memes to entertain her instead of visiting as I normally would.
I couldn’t even go in to the vet with my dog! He wasn’t happy with that. On the flip side, regular appointments are very fast since doctors offices have been limiting how many people can be inside at once. So if you need a mammo or a checkup and covid isn’t spiking in your area, now’s the time IMO. Winter is coming.
Right now it looks like our local hospital allows one support person at a time. Temperature check, masks and “hand hygiene” required. The phone number thing is so annoying! I used to get called at home on snow days even though I was at work. And they’d leave a message. The card had my work number. I’m hoping to get my colonoscopy scheduled before the Covid numbers here go back up. They already have - but so far seem confined to the local college.
Hitting too close to home?
My kid got married without any in person guests this summer.
Good friend from Alabama is sick right now.
In August a dear friend has a series of strokes plus complications (heart failure, kidney failure) that put her in the hospital ICU, neuro and cardiac care step down and rehab hospital for 8+ weeks. I wasn’t able to visit her–which was frustrating. (Since my friend lost her ability to speak after her first stroke, phone calls were a no-go.)
Both Ds (both physicians) say that where they work, the hospital visitor policies change on weekly basis based upon the local infection rates.
Hitting too close to home?
D1 is pregnant and her husband has never been able to accompany her to ANY of her pre-natal doctor visits, has never heard his children’s heartbeats or been there for the ultrasounds. Per current Covid restrictions, he will be allowed to accompany her to the hospital for delivery–though that may change if the infection rate ratchets up where they live. Oh, and only one parent can visit the newborns. Not one at a time. One. The other has to wait until the babies are discharged to see & hold them.
Yesterday DH and I went to the house, only to find a brand new door had been kicked in, completely damaging the frame. Thieves stole brand new toilets still in boxes, all bath hardware, an expensive faucet for our front powder room, and cabinet hardware (some of you might remember my posts about agonizing over cabinet hardware selections).
I feel sick to my stomach. Our insurance deductible is quite high, so we will be paying double to get the same thing.
With COVID supply chain issues, there’s no telling when we can get these things replaced. Plumbers were here today to install all this stuff, so we will be paying them again for their time.
And yet, as always, THINGS COULD BE WORSE, AND ARE, FOR MANY.
I have a friend who’s adult son has been battling cancer. The visitation situation has been difficult. For awhile he could have only one visitor a day. So if his wife spent the night and left in the morning, that was his limit. His adult daughter couldn’t visit. Crazy! Actually the daughter burst into tears as she was to spell her mom and they relented. But my friend has been a nervous wreck not being able to visit her son.
But terrible about your daughter and her husband. The situation really stinks that’s for sure.
