<p>Silence. Just silence. No voice inside my head giving me ideas on what to write about. Quite peculiar that the annoying voice that keeps me up on countless nights, filling my brain with irrational thoughts while I try to sleep, is nowhere to be found when I actually need it. How convenient. I lay here memorizing every aspect of my room, becoming amused by the sounds of traffic outside my window. Refreshing my web browser countless times to see if anything new or exciting has happened from 2 minutes ago. Ill do anything, maybe even clean my room, to help divert me from the seemingly impossible task of writing my college essay. Literally 10 packets surround me, all filled with layouts and examples of great college essays. They tell me to be myself, put my voice into my writing and evade listing my achievements. So this should be easy right? Filling up a paper with my personality exploding out of every sentence, explaining something life changing or meaningful to me? Well, its not. For someone who thought obtaining outstanding grades alone could get her into college, this is a quite dreadful task.
I feel as if my life is a never ending rising action. When will I reach the climax? What is the point of my life? Has nothing exciting ever happened to me? It seems like I spent 17 years justcarrying on. Nothing table turning has happened. Ive never had a cavity, gotten a tooth pulled, broken a bone, got suspended, failed a class, got in a fight, been sent to the principals, had blood drawn, or have been hospitalized. My parents are still married and I still live in the same house I was born in. Ive never been to a funeral, or not that I can remember anyway. Many would consider the monotony of my life a blessing. I suppose I do too, but a blessing and a curse rather. I am blessed in the sense that severe tragedy has never crossed my path but cursed because my life is a bore. Some would say Im crazy because I crave something extreme to happen. They tell me Im lucky and that they wish they never had half their life experiences occur, but I am one who likes to learn things for themselves, and wont listen until it happens first hand. I go through the days doing the same things. Worry that I wont have anything exciting to tell my kids frequently crosses my mind. One day in class, the psychology teacher was telling us how she had a pink mohawk and beat up her sisters boyfriend when she was in high school. The best thing Ill be able to tell is that one time I peed my pants in kindergarten.
I want college to be the experience my life craves. I hope that it will fill my life with stories worthy enough to tell my grandchildren, and pull me out of the tedious cycle of unexciting events I currently live through.
Nearing the end of this essay, the menacing voice in my head returns, bearing numerous ideas of what I could have wrote my essay on and filling me with doubts that I did this all wrong. Wonderful. I contemplate on deleting everything and starting from scratch, but I dont think I will, because this is the real me. The plain peanut butter sandwich waiting for chocolate and bananas to give her life some flavor.</p>
<p>I like your use of language; I see nice phrasing especially. But other than that I have some critiques.</p>
<p>Summary:
From what I read, you are a confused aimless teenager who wants to experience the joys of life in college.</p>
<p>Does it sound personal? Yes
Is it generic? Yes
Does it have substance? Er, no.</p>
<p>From what I’m reading, you do a very good job of showing that you have nothing to do and want something more (the purpose of your essay). But it doesn’t do anything other than that. It feels like “fluff” a lot of the time; why spend precious space for words with time-wasting filibuster writing? </p>
<p>Your writing is wonderful but your purpose is boring. It’s too general. Maybe talk about how you expect your first sip of beer to be. I don’t know (please don’t take that piece of advice to heart, it was just an example).</p>
<p>But anyways, please don’t feel bad if anything I said offends you. Good luck.</p>
<p>I agree with thetenthdoctor. I get what you’re trying to do but you should be careful not to sound like you’ve never done anything interesting in your life. It’s fine to let them know that you’ve lived a drama free life but you don’t want to give them the impression that all you’ve done during your time in high school is focus on getting good grades and nothing else. You don’t need to have cured cancer or won an Academy Award but colleges need to see that you have passion for something or at least have had experiences that you learned from, however trivial they were. Otherwise you’re a very strong writer and you communicate your ideas effectively. Good luck!</p>