¿Critique my essay?

<p>Hi Guys,
I recently took the SAT in January, and I got my essay score back a few days ago. I was really hoping for a double digit score, but I ended up getting an 8, and my entire writing score went down to 660 (I had 3 MC errors). I'm taking the test again in March, and I was wondering if anybody could offer advice to improve on the essay I'm posting below or for any essays in general.
Thanks!</p>

<p>(Prompt: Is it necessary for people to imitate others before they can become original and creative?) </p>

<p>"Isaac Newton once said "If I have looked any further, it is because I stood on the shoulders of giants." Imitation is at the heart of human progress, and no matter how much one strives to be individualistic, he must strive to do so based on what he has learned from other people. Ultimately, without a foundation built by an amalgamation of knowledge and influences from other people, we are lost and cannot move forward in our creative endeavors.</p>

<p>The Apple company serves as the perfect example. Steve Jobs did not invent the computer on his own; in fact, the first functional computer came decades before Apple's first embryonic stages. Furthermore, the new products appearing today such as the ipod touch, the iphone, and the ipad are all based on the design and programming of their predecessors. They could not have come into existence if they did not draw inspiration from earlier work. To say that Apple and its new products are all completely original is to deny the credit of the earlier programmers and designers. Thus, to create a new meaningful idea, one must inevitably learn from those who came before him.</p>

<p>Another more relatable example of imitation others to become original and creative is our own public school system. In order for anybody to contribute anything meaningful and novel into society, he must first become educated through this pedagogical system. Just imagine what life would be like if you were asked to create a completely novel invention if you did not have elementary knowledge of science, language, and mathematics. Imitation is not synonymous to lack of imagination and creativity; instead, by education ourselves with basic principles and discoveries derived from people who came centuries before us, we are able to foster our own ideas into something more meaningful.</p>

<p>From the examples of the Apple company and public education, one can clearly see that imitation is crucial if not necessary for people to become creative and influential. Truly, if not for imitation, progress would be impossible and we humans would not be as unique as we all are today.</p>

<p>Isaac Newton said
You need to state your examples in the introductory paragraph.
As can be shown be the success of Apple, our Public school system, and ______, without a foundation…and cannot ultimately move forward.
You need a third example if at all possible. </p>

<p>Another example of imitation helping others.
Contribute something
Instead by educating</p>

<p>You need a hook in your last paragraph.
Perhaps something like "‘The Power to be Your Best’ (a former apple slogan) truly does rely on imitation.</p>

<p>Thanks! I’m on break right now and have nowhere to go for help so it means a lot. I couldn’t get in a 3rd example because I ran out of time. What do you think would be the best way for me to prepare these next few days for the SAT on Saturday? I was wondering if it would be worth spending some time to make a list of examples for the essay.</p>