Critique my Essay?

Hi. I’m almost done with my CommonApp Essay. I need a complete stranger’s opinion on my it. I’m really uncomfortable showing it to my neighbour I don’t know why (although my Mom is almost forcing me to). I told her that I would get someone else’s opinion instead. Please be really honest. So parents, enrolled students, or any adult…PLEASE

I’ll PM it

Happy to read.

Thanks a lot! I’m not done yet. I’ll send it in a while.