Culture shock -- East Coast vs. West

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I've actually never heard a canadian say 'a boot'.

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<p>I had a professor in undergrad who said it. :)</p>

<p>In Nova Scotia, my S taken aback when asked if he wanted more "soap." He told the waitress he'd washed his hands before the meal.</p>

<p>I went from Upstate NY to SoCal and I haven't experienced any Culture Shock at all. More like Culture Love really. The people aren't really that different from what I experienced, I don't get a more laidback feeling and about the same amount of competitiveness. There's a lot more diversity but I like that so its not an issue for me. The weather is just what I expected, wonderful with sunshine and warmth everyday (although a jacket/sweater is good for mornings/nights). I haven't really seen any names I wasn't aware of although SF sounds like itd be a bit different. I don't miss the changing of leaves but that's just me, I'm fine with pictures and 18 previous years of it. The palm trees help a lot too as I love them. I haven't seen any clothing differences either, really people aren't that different unless you're really used to a different, unique style. </p>

<p>As for public transportation, I've taken the Orange County buses, the Metrolink, the LA Metro and the LA buses and considering the negative expectations I had, they all worked fine. I've biked and walked around both the OC and LA areas (a lot) and cars have been surprisingly respectful to me and have let me walk/bike past many times. You just have to get used to the traffic lights and then its easy to go across streets. So even without a car, I've been able to get around enough. The difference really is that it is true that SoCal does love its cars but I understand why so it works for me.</p>

<p>Seriously though, I'm absolutely in love with California. Partly because I hated where I lived and have learned to be IMMENSELY grateful to be living in a place I love.</p>

<p>Just want to chime in on Boston traffic--
When my husband & I moved from Iowa to Cambridge in the 70s, we noticed cars stopped for neither pedestrians nor red lights. When going through intersections we still joke about "Boston Rules": If the car in front of you goes, you can go.</p>

<p>We experienced cultural shocks of the good-kind when we moved from Norcal to Northeast. We are finding people friendlier and down-to-earth in the East. </p>

<p>We had lived in Southern Cal before but we didnt want our children grow up where there's nothing to share between you and your neighbors, the big urban sprawls where you just drive to your destinations (work or play) separated by steel and glass. And the whole LA scene was superficials in many ways, like the need to look good, having the perfect tanned and trim bodies, car shines, and the separation between the races. Also this becomes more appreciative as I grow older. Here in the Northeast my neighbors all have 2-3 kids. Dad works and mom stays home for the kids. The way it used to be and ought to be. That would be abnormal for LlllllAaaa or trendy San Francisco where young couples choose a labrador as companion and busy with careers, interests and because they got "so much going on" with their lives that children are not part of that equation.</p>

<h2>"Oh, and u know that "everything is bigger in Texas" saying is true. Especially the egos!!! The bragginess and looking-down-upon by these Texans is sickening. And honestly, I dont see one thing to be bragging about down here."</h2>

<p>Gosh, going a little overboard don't you think? I'm a Native Texan and have lived in Houston for the last 20 years. I kinda think we get a bad rap on the braggadocio thing. Maybe you should just look around for some better Texans to chat with... I guarantee you there are plenty.</p>

<p>And there are tons of Texans who don't care one whit about Longhorns or Aggies....me being one of them. But interestingly, my husband, who is an Army brat who lived most of his life overseas and who did NOT attend UT is a rabid Longhorn fan. And he roots for the Aggies when they are playing anyone but Texas.</p>

<p>Btw...Can't disagree about the weather. But you'll be singing a different tune come January, when it is a crisp, clear 60 degrees. :-)</p>

<p>I'm from SoCal and we LOVE Texas. Nothing better than Texas BBQ and the people are so friendly. We plan on retiring in Austin. Also, the humidity happens to be good for my skin! I look five years younger in Texas.</p>

<p>Its good to hear success stories like the one from Anoel, even though I don't remember Los Angeles like that. And the times I went back LA looked more and more like a third world country. Maybe the new Orange County is the more socially-responsible version of LA.</p>

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<p>Sounds just like my neighborhood here in San Diego, except some of the moms also work. I guess a good place to live is where you find it.</p>

<p>"mom stays home..." Ugh, not every married woman wants to be at home with little kids; some of us are not into traditional brain numbing roles, are not artsy-craftsy, etc.- my poor mother was trapped into that role by the times, no wonder all the neighbor ladies kaffe klatched. It is NOT the way it "ought" to be, girls have brains just as much as boys and the desire to use them- what seemed perfect for the kids was terrible for many women. Fortunately society has changed, and I'm willing to bet that stay at home neighborhood is well off financially but not intellectually.</p>

<p>Hey, careful there, wis75. My brain did not rot away while I spent 20 years staying/working at home and raising my kids. Arts and crafts proficiency is not a requirement for raising kids but patience and love is. I'm glad we were able to afford and that I wanted to stay home with my kids. I'm no June Cleaver but I can organize a group and write a mean newsletter. Staying home was the right thing for our family but I would not recommend it for anyone (men or women) who considers it demeaning or unsatisfying. I think someone should stay home and raise the kids but I don't think it should necessarily be the mom.</p>

<p>Back to the topic..... Our extended family is one that is on the east coast, the west coast and in the midwest. When we have family reunions, I find it interesting that when the kids compare differences they end up talking about what stores are not found in one area, "What, you don't have Trader Joe's?? You don't have a Dillards?" or about food staples like what makes a good cheesesteak.</p>

<h2>"Ugh, not every married woman wants to be at home with little kids; some of us are not into traditional brain numbing roles"....."Fortunately society has changed, and I'm willing to bet that stay at home neighborhood is well off financially but not intellectually."</h2>

<p>Not every married woman who stays at home considers it a mind-numbing role. I am a CPA who practiced for years before deciding to stay home with my youngest. He had medical problems and he needed me. I considered it quite stimulating, both physically and intellectually. And I would not have missed the experience for the world. Blessings are packaged in unusual ways sometimes.</p>

<p>Also, our neighborhood has a lot of stay at home moms who are fortunate to be both educated and financially "well off" (Personally, I would say comfortable, but not wealthy). These are the moms who help coach DI, chaperone kids to Band contests, raise funds for the library, etc... I bet there are plenty of working moms and dads who are pretty happy these stay at home moms decided to sacrifice the prestige and validation of an outside the home career for that "mind numbing" role.</p>

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I'd have to say that this comment does not show much understanding of the lives of SAHM's. Do you also demean teachers, nurses and accountants? After all, these are tasks that are often performed by SAHM. What about artists or writer? They often work in the home, and aren't typically well paid. Are dads who stay at home okay in your view?</p>

<p>Most of the SAHM's I know are very well educated, and have chosen to spend some time as a primary caretaker for a variety of reasons. I have friends who are M.D.'s, lawyers (a former District Attorney) and who hold doctorates in a variety of academic subjects. I somehow doubt that their brains went into hibernation because they were no longer financially compensated in the workplace. What about Sandra Day O'Connor? Did she lose her cognitive abilities when she stayed home with her kids, and then inexplicably regain them when she returned to work?</p>

<p>Stay at Home Mom is a misnomer. The moms I know (sorry, don't know any dads who do this) are usually working on a part time basis, whether paid or volunteer. There are many benefits to the family, if you view it as a small business. Separation of labor works for many. </p>

<p>I take some credit for my husband's work success, because of the support he's received at home. He never had to leave a meeting, or cancel a business trip, or turn down an opportunity involving relocation, because I was there to take care of things. </p>

<p>I don't think I'd have a son at an Ivy league school if I had continued to work. I don't have the energy to do everything. It doesn't mean I won't be returning to full time employment in the near future, although I'll miss the freedom to read anything I'm interested in, visit museums or bookstores or take classes if I choose to do so.</p>

<p>My opinion is that wis75's comment about SAHMs was unncecessarily judgemental, as we all can agree that each family should do what works best for them (as far as both parents working or one staying home, etc.) It depends on the family's individual situation such as the jobs involved (hours, flexibility, distance from home), whether children have special needs, and many other factors. But I think that wis75 was reacting to edvest1's earlier comment about her community in the Northeast, "Dad works and mom stays home for the kids. The way it used to be and ought to be," which is at least, or even more, offensive than what wis75 said.</p>

<p>I agree with MotherofTwo - every family should do what works best for them and their children. Once upon a time I was very much in the camp that mothers "ought to" not work outside the home. Now that my kids are 10, 14, and 18, I'm much more open minded due to the respect I have for my children's friends. Their friends are happy, polite, well adjusted, and know right from wrong. They adore their parents and families. Some are going to Ivy League schools. From just meeting them, you would never be able to guess who had mothers that always worked and who didn't. It does not seem to have been the deciding factor. I'd say these kids had families with more in common than different. They all made their kids their top priority.</p>

<p>I don't know why these threads get off track so fast ;)
I live in the Northwest- & from my experience-households with one income&/or one stay at home parent, are generally higher/education income than the households with two incomes
Whomever stays home- is also likely to not ever * be * home, instead you will find them participating in their childrens schools and in the community
I also have met many couples with at least one child with special needs. If at all possible, even if that means their income has to take a significant drop, most couples I have met, eventually have one parent stay home and take on the role of managing the school- the district- the state- the dr appts- the therapists etc. It is quite exhausting and not for the timid of heart or mind.
This is perhaps more common in cities- although I wouldn't divide it between east and west.
Another thing I have noticed, is that in our area- many are new to the Northwest from * down south<a href="which%20would%20be%20San%20Diego%20lol">/i</a>, or other areas of the country- especially teh east coast.
My husband and I are a relative rarity in that we were both born in the city where we are now living. I can't even think of any other friends that we currently see who grew up in Seattle.
Several are from other parts of Washington, but most from out of state, so while they may come from areas where things are a little more formal- what we wear to the symphony here- people in Dallas wouldn't wear to the grocery store I hear, but they quickly acclimate- and soon have as big a yearly dividend from REI as anyone else :)</p>

<p>MotherofTwo: edvest's comments were expressing an opinion about what is best for kids. Agree or not, his or her post was not nasty & insulting, like wis75's.</p>

<p>In rereading wis75's post, I do agree that what she wrote is unwarranted and is "nasty and insulting" to mothers who stay at home. However, edvest's saying that mothers staying home is "the way it ought to be" as an absolute statement is also very offensive, at least to me. She did not say that, for her family, it is the best choice, but that her choice is the way it "ought to be" for everyone else.<br>
This is probably not a worthwhile discussion to continue, but I have worked the whole time my kids were growing up, and, like the working mothers shedevil knows, have always made my kids my top priority. I think my kids, for the most part, would be described by other parents as people who are "happy, polite, well adjusted, and know right from wrong." (As an aside, but since shedevil mentioned it in her post and this is a College discussion board, they were also accepted at some pretty good colleges :) ) My workplace is filled with mothers who have similar kids. That is why it upsets me to read that the way I have lived my life is not the way it "ought" to be.</p>

<p>SS, a datum: I found EdVest's post offensive and insulting but just gave it a pass. Resources are finite and one must pick and choose.</p>

<p>I would find TheDad’s and others being offended by someone who holds to the view that it is better--when raising children--to be hands on for education and love than not, to be offensive …if I was the easily offended type (I’m not).</p>

<p>But there is no accounting for hurt feelings.</p>

<p>I have no idea how it will work out for me since I’m gearing-up to have a wonderful career; but when I was young, I preferred having either of my parents at hand and close, to not having them near and involved…and both of my parents had careers when I was growing up. </p>

<p>Ask your kids what they’d prefer, and then ponder the meaning of their choice: whether they would prefer not to have more of you, or to have more of you in their lives.</p>

<p>These are, I suppose, hard choices to make.</p>

<p>You resourceful, intellectual, career types need to toughen-up a bit…</p>

<p>…easily offended for such educated, driven and career-wise women (and man)--at least in my book.</p>

<p>As to the OP, fwiw, I was born in Switzerland…raised in Toronto, Montreal, Annapolis and N. Jersey--now a student in rural New Hampshire. I don't even get the concept of culture shock in N America.</p>