<p>For whatever it's worth, I have known dads who decided to stay at home fulll-time to raise their kids. My hubby did stay home for 6 weeks working part-time & caring for our S when my maternity leave ended. He found it extremely challenging & was a much more aware and supportive husband & father because of it. Another friend took a leave of absence to raise her children but couldn't handle being home with the child/ren. Her hubby gladly swapped with her & she want back full-time while he worked part-time from home. Eventually, when they both decided to work full-time, they hired a live-in nanny.</p>
<p>Those who have the resources to choose among many desirable & good choices are indeed fortunate. Some families have very few resources and even fewer choices.</p>
<p>Back to the original thread:
I have never lived for any length of time in the East Coast. I find people from Hawaii have much deeper roots than most of the friends I made in OR & CA when I was in college & grad school. So far, my S hasn't meantioned much of an adjustment in moving from HI to LA.</p>
<p>I think I recognize Marite's day care center; lots of friends with kids there, and staff with degrees in early ed and psych. Persoanlly, I used au pairs because it fit my work hours. I often stayed with infant/toddler until 2 or 3 pm, then left him with othrs. Grandparents were the best, for me and mine.</p>
<p>So much research in this field. Basically, often amounts to people following the majority in their own community. I also found that the professional people were the most able to vary their hours of work. I am well aware that I could address the advantages of a flexible work schedule, a respected parent, a parent who is able to be efficient running home/work tasks, ease of $, etc. I could also write about how a child learns to socialize if involved with consistent child care, can attach to others, learns to share, etc. For sure, my child learned to care for himself and help around the house because mom was busy. oh well, mute points to someone who thinks working moms shortchange a child. Most important, i never felt guilty for my life style.</p>
<p>The decision to stay at home may be a decision to live differently, one way to solve logistical challenges of both parents working both time:</p>
<p>[ul]
[<em>]Your baby is a screamer, you are getting no sleep, you want to breastfeed and it is impossible where you are employed.
[</em>]You can only find a job that is an hour or more away, and you do not like being away from home from before 7am to after 7pm
[<em>]Your career choice requires travel, and you do not like to be away from your children and/or it is hard to find backup care while you are gone
[</em>]Your career is in an industry that is floundering, you are laid off and to retrain in order to remain employable is cost-prohibitive
[li]Your working hours would require a more than full-time nanny in your home and housecleaning services, and you do not want people in your house unsupervised[/li][/ul]</p>
<p>Certainly, there ARE solutions to these challenges, but if you do not love, love, love your work, if it is an option for you, you may prefer to stay home.</p>
<p>As a student, there are a few things that concern me if I were to move from the west to the east. </p>
<p>One thing is, yes, the weather is different. I live in So Cal, its hot during the summer. Frankly, I don't like the heat! So, I think I might want to move somewhere colder, but I don't want to freeze. Cold here is probably way different than cold there! But then again, do I really want to move that far? But I don't want to stay here. But I want to be able to come home for holidays without a $350 plane ticket!</p>
<p>Also what concerns me is the cultural difference. I have read that the east is alot preppier than the west. I've read on some forums what college students there wear. I think that maybe I could adjust, wear nicer clothes, but maybe not. All that name brand stuff, I can't afford any of it! I live in Cali, everyone I know wears jeans & a t-shirt. Is this just a teenager thing? Or do Cali college students dress nicer? I have worn a nice jacket & a polo shirt to a mother daughter social brunch, and I felt like a fool. That outfit is in the back of my closet never to be worn again! So, maybe I just can't adjust to that. </p>
<p>It may get warm in So Cal in the summer but it's generally much more pleasant in summer than in the east where it's not only hot, but the humidity is high.</p>
<p>At the UCs, I haven't seen much difference in the clothing people wear versus what the same people would have worn in HS.</p>
<p>My kid wears t-shirts too. He happens not to like jeans (too stiff), but wears cargo pants and the like - cargo shorts today even though I thought it was way too chilly! I never thought the heat in Pasadena in the summer was nearly as bad as the heat in NY except on the rare occassions when the Santa Anas blew in. The humidity here makes it seem much worse. There are certainly some preppy kids on the East Coast and some colleges and high schools with higher concentrations, but it isn't universal by any means.</p>
<p>Me personally I usually try to dress business casual at a minimum, but I'm one of those weird people who just loves dressing up. Since I'm starting to get into internships, and I know people who are now in positions where "business casual" is the standard, I've noticed how many different definitions there are of what several different styles of dress are. For whatever it's worth, I only just started buying name brand clothing, but only because I liked the style, not because I need a certain brand. I agree, it can be a VERY expensive way to dress. </p>
<p>My observation, the people who are from out west tend to be a lot more laid back in how they dress, no matter what the occasion is. That's just my observation though, and it's not universal. Nobody really notices it though, unless you join a sorority, and at least at Duquesne, even if girls didn't fit in with the fashion before, they quickly adjust. One of our favorite free time activities is seeing how many girls have a problem walking in those pointy-toed stilletto's.</p>
<p>Really? I haven't been to the east coast since we moved here, so I don't remember at all. I just assumed that east coast = snow = colder = better. :P For me, I was thinking, whats the difference between moving 3 hours away and a plane ride away? I won't know anyone, or where I am, so whats the difference? But reality is starting to kick in. For a few months now, I have only been looking out of state, but I might just have to give that up and start looking at Cali colleges too.</p>
<p>Oh we have lots of snow...definitely...and then we get into construction season, where it gets really really hot and you can never get comfortable. I actually find it worse in Pittsburgh than in Philly; don't know why because it's always so cold out here in the winter due to the mountains and rivers. The good thing is though that it's usually colder for most of the year. At least in Pittsburgh.</p>
<p>I'm in the mountains in Cali right now. It was very (haha ok my opinion) cold before we turned on the heat & lit the fireplaces. But its ok now, wearing a sweatshirt & jeans. LOL </p>
<p>We had some snow last year, which was fun :) But they do make snow up here too :P</p>
<p>I've read some of this by now very long thread, but not all of it.</p>
<p>I've lived in a few different places but then spend many years in the Pacific Northwest (where I did my undergrad degree). Not too long ago I moved out-of-state and live in the South now (came here for grad school). I like it so far, and there hasn't been much culture shock. </p>
<p>I've had an interest in living in California since I was 10 and passed through it with my folks. Years later, when visiting California again, this time with a good friend, I've had the same positive impression of it. I still think I'd like to live there eventually, at least for a year or two, maybe after finishing grad school.</p>
<p>For those of you who live or have lived in California, what cities would you especially recommend? I'd want to live in one where the cost of living is not too high, one that is relatively safe, and that is urban (not in the desert).</p>
<p>I would recommend Sacramento. While the weather is not as wonderful as closer to the coast, it is fairly affordable, near Tahoe for skiing and Yosemite for camping. The city itself is nice.</p>
<p>
[quote]
one where the cost of living is not too high, one that is relatively safe, and that is urban
[/quote]
This is tough since the cost of living tends to be high in any of the major population areas of California (San franciso bay area, LA area, San Diego area). Regarding what cities to consider, it really depends on what you're interested in. California is a large state with large differences in climate and geography which is one of the things I like so much about it. Regarding safety in an urban area (any urban area), there tend to be urban areas that are relatively safe and areas that aren't - you just need to do a bit of research beforehand.</p>
<p>If you like actually going into the ocean without a wetsuit and are picturing the typical California beach scene, you'll need to be in southern Cal since the water never gets close to warm from about mid-state up north and the air temp can be cold even in the summer due to the overcast/fog (I used to scuba dive in Monterey/Carmel - the water's cold there). </p>
<p>If you like skiing, you can do this in both southern and northern Cal but the Lake Tahoe area has many world-class ski areas within a 4 hour drive of the bay area. For southern Cal, Mammoth (an excellent ski area) is the closest really great area but the San Bernardino resorts are very close to LA and San Diego. </p>
<p>If you like mountains, all of Cal has them. The desert is actually very scenic and great for hiking or 4-wheeling but personally I'd rather visit it than live there. If you're in southern Cal, this is easy to do.</p>
<p>I've lived in both northern Cal and southern Cal and much prefer southern Cal but I know many people that prefer northern over southern. Some posters on CC have expressed a preference for northern Cal over southern. It really comes down to what your personal interests are.</p>
<p>I loved living in Pasadena, much to my surprise. Though as an east coaster I thought that even in Santa Monica the water was freezing. We were an easy drive to the beach, the mountains or the desert (gorgeous in the spring). I also loved hiking in the Sierras. The LA area has lots to do - museums, music, theater etc. However it's not cheap.</p>
<p>just to add to the culture shock...the north from the south. speaking as someone orignally from PA and now in LA (new orleans). completely different!</p>
<p>Grew up in the Great Northwest (Puget Sound). Like William O. Douglas, I headed east for college. Spent the first several months complaining how NYC and the northeast weren't as good as back home. Stuck it out and came to love NYC. In my time, I would say the greatest difference between the east and the Northwest are the racial attitudes and perceptions. There is far more residential integration in the Seattle region than in the rest of the country. Through undergraduate and law school on the eastern seaboard, I was always amused by the look on someone's face when I explained that my high school was about 50% Japanese-American and the most common surname was Anderson, as in Scandinavian.</p>
<p>i'm from boston, lived there for 8 years now, i live in portugal now though(since september), but i went to WISCONSIN, with my friend for 3 days last summer and i've never been more culture shocked in my entire life. it's just like, a backwards world there compared to boston. people you'd never seen before would just like, talk to you, and people just operate on like, a different beat i guess. all the stores are different, they're accents are hysterical and their the nicest people in the world. i've never seen so many happy and blonde people in the same place. haha. i love it though.
butterburgers
pfff
hahaha
funny isht.</p>
<p>the drivers there though drive me absolutely insane though! they stop for everything! people, signs, trees, views, food. and they go half the speed limit. not to mention how big those cars are...and the streets.</p>