Current Harvard students: are you HAPPY?

Colleges and Universities A-Z Harvard University
1

<p>What a day.
I was rejected at my top choice (Yale - please don't eat me!) and had given up all hope for the East coast when BAM - Harvard. Totally unexpected.
I preferred (and, right now, still do... sadface) Yale to Harvard because I've somehow gotten the impression that people are happier at Yale.
In fact, I've gotten the impression that people are UNhappy at Harvard. My Harvard interviewer basically told me to go to Stanford if I get in (which I did) - because the people there are so much happier.
I WANT to love Harvard. I love many aspects of it already. But happiness is always going to trump the prestige factor.</p>

<p>So.
Current students: Are you happy? If so, why? If not, why not? Is day to day life easy? Enjoyable? </p>

<p>ANY and ALL feedback is appreciated. I want the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Thanks.</p>

2

<p>You should PM me, and we can talk some more :slight_smile: but a quick answer to your, question… I love it here. No doubt, it can be challenging but I found that most of those challenges would have been the same if I went to the other schools I was accepted to.
As for the prestige factor, don’t worry, I was in the same boat. I didn’t want to “force” myself to like a school based on nothing but the name. In the end, I was between Yale, Harvard and my state school and I eventually realized that if I wanted to get over that hump, I would have to visit and live, for a weekend, like the students did. I would ignore all the fuss over the name and what not and just let nature take its course.
As for your interviewer saying that you should go to Stanford, which I also got into last year, that’s a decision only YOU can make. Really, I love 2013 at Harvard. I can tell that depending on the chemistry of the class and the connections, especially that FIRST connection, you make with people and friends, you can either hate it or love it here. It’s all pretty subjective and generalizations are NEVER what you should base your (life-changing, essentially) choice on. For some people, I am assuming that this is what happened to your interviewer, Harvard didn’t match up to expectations. That’s also something you, and the rest of you blessed to be admitted, should keep in mind. DON"T COME IN WITH EXPECTATIONS because those may be crushed (you’ll be disappointed) or maybe you’ll love it and never want to graduate because you love it that much. It’s funny because my Yale interviewer did a similar thing where she said people at Yale are too dramatic and I was too nice to be in a rude place. I was shocked, but I realized 1) I’m not like her and maybe I wouldn’t have that happen to me, 2) She can’t make my decisions 3) She graduated years (I mean YEARS) ago and things ALWAYS change. </p>

<p>Like I said, PM me and we can chat it up because this is honestly just the tip of the iceberg :slight_smile: </p>

<p>Good luck!!</p>

3

<p>Hi :)</p>

<p>In answer to your post, I’d say that so far, my year here has been AMAZING! I’m definitely happy here. I’ve found my niche, I’ve found groups of people I love being with, and I feel like I’ve found my place. Everyone has a different experience at ANY college. I feel like the cliche rings true: anywhere you go, you get what you make of it. If you are going to focus solely on academics and study all morning, day, and night, that will be your perception of Harvard. Limited to books and academics, although there’s nothing wrong with that: just different priorities. I found a delicate balance between having safe fun (I’m not much of an adventurous dare-devil ^^;; ) and being academically sound.</p>

<p>Granted, you will face things you might not have faced before. For me, it was an actual environment in which I felt like I fit in perfectly. Bias can change one’s view of Harvard, and each and every student will find their own pros and cons for Harvard. So far, for me, pros definitely heavily outweigh the cons.</p>

<p>That being sad, only you really know whether Harvard is a good fit. The only problem is, most of the prefrosh weekends are definitely not very good representations of what real college life is like, keep in mind. So when making your final decision, always consider what’s best for you :)</p>

<p>I feel like I haven’t answered the question very well, but hopefully I was some help! ^^</p>

<p>Congrats! :D</p>

4

<p>Yes I agree with the above posters. I don’t understand why this “Yale kids are happier” myth gets thrown around.</p>

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<p>Although this is old, my mom got into Harvard, Yale, and Princeton back in the 1970s (early '80s? It’s three a.m. and I don’t want to do math.) as a California kid who didn’t have any prior knowledge of the mythos for any of them. She visited, and this is the story she’s been telling me since I was way too young and college-aware to know that it was weird for my dad, applying as a 45±year-old ex-tenure-track-but-not-tenured-Stanford-professor to law school day programs, to be accepted to Georgetown and rejected from George Mason and American. (Dad says Stanford kids are very sheltered, and otherwise the same as Harvard etc. in competitiveness levels etc., but it comes across as way more casual and less competitive because people are always in shorts and casual clothing.)*
She visited Princeton first, and was like “Well, those people are very cliqueish preps. They seem the Animal House Sort.” (Was Animal House even out?)
Then she visited Yale, and thought that the Yale kids were very nice. She was having dinner with a bunch, and they were talking about why Yale was wonderful. Then they finished dinner, and mom, loving ice cream, was like “Let’s go get ice cream at the ice cream shop next door (literally)!” And then every Yalie in the group she was eating with disappeared back to the library because they had to study. No ice cream.
Visiting Harvard, she met kids who didn’t study all the time, but had lives and went out for ice cream and things. She went to Harvard. She always has attributed the difference to Harvard’s 4 mandatory classes per semester vs. Yale’s 5.</p>

<p>*Note on Lirazel’s college applications and legacy status. No, Lirazel did not apply to Stanford. She did not like it when she was a 4-year-old kid at her first “college visit” playing in piles of NASTY PRICKLY MEAN oak leaves while her father taught classes. She is also pale and unathletic (“weak” might be more accurate), and more than a little bit afraid of high concentrations of tan athletes. Probably false stereotyping. Whatever. She also grew up in the Silicon Valley, and while she loves parts of California (Tahoe! Big Sur! Carmel! MontereyBayAquariumAquariumAquariumAquariumAquarium!) has no wish to ever return to the Silicon Valley. Lirazel did apply to Harvard, despite a sophomore-early-junior-ish period of No I Am Not Going Where My Parents Went Because I Am A Rebel, and got in. :DDD</p>

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<p>This is my take from having two kids there right now. My kids adore Harvard. Their friends adore it. The vibe I get throughout the campus is rampantly enthusiastic.</p>

<p>But at Harvard, you may have 80% or so of the students who went to Harvard because they loved it. The rest may have loved Yale or Stanford or Brown or NYU and really wanted to go there, but eventually yielded to what they perceived to be pressure to accept the Harvard brand name - kind of like having to part with your true love to enter into the arranged marriage that your parents set up. I think that the 80% are just as happy with their college life as any students anywhere. The rest might come around or might go through all four years with the weight of “what might have been.”</p>

<p>Elanorci, given your disappointment with Yale, you have the potential to be in either the 80% or the 20%. I think you’ll need to be honest with yourself about whether you can enthusiastically embrace campus life at Harvard. FWIW, though I have no direct connection to Yale, my sense is that the two schools are about as similar as any two schools in the country. It seems to me that other than having a strong feeling about the difference in their settings, a student should be able to go from one to the other with about the same degree of familiarity as English speakers go back and forth between American English and British English.</p>

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<p>Great thread, it’s nice to know that the stereotypes are wrong :)</p>

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<p>“the two schools are about as similar as any two schools in the country.”</p>

<p>Strongly agree.</p>

9

<p>As the parent of a D at Harvard and a D at Yale, this is my impression:</p>

<p>D at Yale is almost “cultishly” in love with Yale and deliriously happy there - to a point that I don’t get it, but I’m thrilled for her. </p>

<p>As for D at Harvard, I wouldn’t describe her experience the same way. It has been just as (or even more) fulfilling, but “happy” is not the prominent adjective I would use. My adjective to describe her experience would be “awesome.” From a its historical setting to its academics, ECs and peer group, I don’t think she could have done better, and she is thrilled with her experience there.</p>

10

<p>I would describe my D’s experience at Harvard as an incredibly happy one. Awesome, too. She’s a senior and is very sad for her four years to be ending.</p>

11

<p>This place is so incredible words cannot even describe. Congrats on getting in. Feel free to PM if you want to ask anything specific.</p>

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<p>Bay, do you mind perhaps expanding on what you mean by the term “awesome”?</p>

<p>Is it in the sense of being “awed” - eg. by the history/peers/academics/rigour etc. </p>

<p>Or in the more ‘teenager’ sense of “awesome!” (ie. general fun-times-feel/cool etc).</p>

<p>Just trying to get a sense of the nuances of the place (much easier post-visit I know). :)</p>

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<p>I meant it in the former sense, and I think it can even be a bit intimidating, at least at first.</p>

<p>I didn’t mean to give the impression that D isn’t happy there. She loves it. She is a very social person, but not a “party girl” in the high school sense (altho she does go to parties pretty much every week at H) and has found the social life at H to be satisfying. She has visited her sister at Yale, and she did comment that she found Yale’s environment more relaxed, as compared to H’s competitive environment. But D is very competitive, so she fits right in at H.</p>

14

<p>Thank you Bay!</p>

<p>That definitely makes sense, and was sort of the impression I had gained as well. Harvard definitely seems like a very “heavy-weight” place (in that everything that is pursued is pursued to a very awe-inspiring level).</p>

15

<p>^^^ "Happy vs. Awesome. Very nice, Bay. That’s about the most on target, succinct summary of the dynamics that I’ve heard.</p>

<p>Bear in mind also, that there’s a certain rallying point generated by being broadly perceived as #2 in any hierarchy. (I’m not playing out the H vs. Y rivalry here; I’m just noting that H is clearly the more iconic name as in “The Harvard of the [blank].”) H students seem perfectly comfortable being blunt about aspects of campus life with which they don’t agree. I’d guess that there’d be a lesser inclination for Y students to criticize their school, for fear of appearing to give up any ground to their rival.</p>

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<p>When D1 was looking at colleges four years ago, I didn’t even have Harvard on the list because of my perception of certain off-putting stereotypes. Four years later, I’m not sure I can name any of those preconceived stereotypes that have turned out to be accurate.</p>

16

<p>I think it is hard to generalize about a big and diverse place like Harvard. I understand that you feel a need to simplify and even stereotype in order to make a decision.</p>

<p>Our daughter is very chill about things, doesn’t care much about grades, loves the courses at Harvard, and has made a lot of great friends who have similar attitudes. Wherever you go, you will find people who are compatible with your own personality and attitudes.</p>

<p>Harvard students seem very happy to me, and there is quite a bit of focus on undergrads these days (another myth is that undergrads do not get attention, but this goes back more than a decade now and things have changed).</p>

<p>Both Yale and Harvard have house systems, and you spend 3 years in that smaller community on the larger campus. At Yale, you find out your house in Freshman year, and at Harvard, you find out at the end of that year and choose roommates.</p>

<p>Harvard has fewer distribution requirements, and you take 4 classes/semester, which is not only manageable but seems enjoyable.</p>

<p>Our daughter felt that Yale was intense, and Harvard more relaxed. This was based on tour guides, frankly, and silly too.</p>

<p>Wherever you go, you have the potential to be happy.</p>

<p>Maybe you should just choose based on the differences in architecture! Seriously, look up courses in majors you might pursue, look at the distribution requirements, that kind of thing.</p>

17

<p>I was insanely happy at Harvard. My little brothers and sisters (i.e., the current members of my a cappella group) feel the same way I did. I wish I could show you the pictures!</p>

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<p>gadad’s post is very important imo. psychology plays tremendously into the whole stereotype environment. marketing for schools like yale or princeton, for example, very much centers on trying to leverage preconceived (albeit inaccurate) generalizations to attract students to go there. the classic “we pay more attention to undergrads” point is to me ridiculous. similarly, the “harvard students are unhappy/aren’t social” is completely untrue for the majority of students here.</p>

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<p>For a humorous take on the negative aspects of life at Harvard:</p>

<p>[■■■</a> Video Contest | HUTV | Harvard Undergraduate Television](<a href=“HUTV | Harvard Undergraduate Television | Turn us on”>HUTV | Harvard Undergraduate Television | Turn us on)</p>

20

<p>My daughter has had an incredible four years at Harvard - the best of which, I believe, has to to do with the amazing variety of people she has met. As a parent, one of the things that I have not liked (as compared with my son’s top LAC) is the competitive nature of extra curricular activities. I personally find the whole comping process ridiculous and think that people should be able to just join the activities/clubs that they like. (Obviously, I am not referring to musical or theater groups that require a certain talent.)</p>

<p>Harvard students are fiercely independent and competitive in their activities. Yet as far as academics, they are collaborative and study groups are always available. My daughter tells me that no one ever discusses a grade. </p>

<p>My daughter initially wanted to go to Yale because she thought its residential house system was better. Just recently she told me that she clearly was wrong. She has found the house system at Harvard to be nothing less than wonderful.</p>