Cutting down essay....

<p>Hi.</p>

<p>On my previous posts, various people have commented that I have utilized too much summary in my essays. I didn't see that post until after I wrote this essay. I was just wondering if anyone could grade this essay and tell me what unnecessary nonsense I could take out.</p>

<p>If you want to do some sort of exchange of service, put your essay up here, and we can peer review or something.</p>

<p>Assignment:</p>

<p>It is easy to make judgments about people and their actions when we do not know anything about their circumstances or what motivated them to take those actions. But we should look beyond a person's actions. When people do things that we consider outrageous, inconsiderate, or harmful, we should try to understand why they acted as they did.</p>

<p>Is it important to try to understand people's motivations before judging their actions?</p>

<p>Essay:</p>

<p>The saying "Don't judge a book by its cover." is an applicable phrase in regards to modern day society. It is important for society to look beyond the "cover" of one's actions to understand why those actions were carried out. Examples from literature show how jumping to conclusion in regards to another's actions can lead to negativity.</p>

<p>Take the novel Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain. The novel focuses on the adventure of the protagonist, Huck, as he escapes the wrath of his father by journeying to the Northern States. Huck is accompanied by a runaway slave named Jim, who helps Huck considerably. Just before reaching the free state of Illinois, Jim is recaptured and kept as a prisoner. Instead of forgetting about Jim and continuing to the Northern States Huck rescues Jim from his captors. Many Southerners were horrified at Huck's decision and denounced his actions. Because of their racial point of view, they were unable to understand Huck's motivation- helping a true friend. If society takes the time to determine motivations for an individual's actions, society will be able to make a more educated judgment between socially right and wrong.</p>

<p>A similar situation is presented in the novel In Dubious Battle by John Steinbeck. The novel centers upon the lives of apple pickers in Central California during the Great Depression. The apple pickers are aided by Communist revolutionaries, Jim and Marc, who launch a strike demanding higher wages. Many of the apple pickers are skeptical and denounce Jim and Marc, stating that they were Soviet spies who were trying to initiate a Bolshevik Revolution in the USA. Their paradigm changes when Jim and Marc announced their motives for helping the apple pickers. They both couldn't bear to see fellow countrymen live in poverty, despite the fact that they toiled on a daily basis. They simply wanted to improve the lives of the apple pickers so that the country would be more stable. If society takes the initiative to examine the motivations behind one's actions society will e able to better appreciate or denounce that action.</p>

<p>The play The Crucible by Arthur Miller also exhibits the same issue. In the play, a girl named Abbey exacts revenge upon her ex-lover, John Proctor, under the pretense of being "possessed" by spirits deployed by him. The extremely religious community falls for Abbey's acts and wrongly accuses Proctor of witchcraft and forging alliance with the Devil. Had society investigated the motivations behind Abbey's rants, society would have been able to prevent the arrest and execution of Proctor. If society is able to determine an individual's intentions, society will make the process of trial more accurate and just than it currently is.</p>

<p>It is a simple task to instantaneously judge one's actions at face value. However, it is more beneficial for society as a whole to look behind the "cover" of one's actions and understand the intentions and motivations driving that action.</p>

<p>Yeah there’s definitely the problem of summarizing. You don’t use enough of the essay to thoroughly explain the connection between the example and the prompt. The first sentence of your body paragraphs should be explaining the paragraph, correct? You give a title for the first sentence. Use some sort of an explanation as to why the example will eventually make sense, then explain the example. At the end of the example, loop back to the top and reiterate the connection. </p>

<p>Oh and that conclusion is pretty weak. But I guess criticizing that doesn’t make any sense given the time constraints. So kudos for actually having a conclusion.</p>

<p>Yes, looking back at the other essays, I think I have written a bit too much for sure. But the problem I face…i guess that it’s one w/ writing style, but I am not able to present an example without giving context…and I tend to give a lot of context.</p>