<p>The individual school prompts are relatively easy but, dang it, its so hard to decide what to do for the common app essay. She wants to write about the joy of coaching her youth hockey team. It has the potential of a nice essay. But it gives no sense of her academic enthusiasm....or her love of learning....or her experience within her field..... I mean, how self-serving should these essays be? She has compelling stories....for example, she worked at the U.S. Embassy in an African nation...and a few other items....but those essays aren't naturally flowing for her. She just sent me an email that simply said OMG HELP and then a smiley face. And she's usually all "mom, the last thing i need is your help on homework" so I can tell that she's really really in the grip of inaction. :) </p>
<p>The essay doesn’t have to be about academic enthusiasm. It should be whatever story she wants to tell that isn’t already reflected in her application- it should show her character, her voice. Sounds like she should write about coaching the hockey team.</p>
<p>I suggest that she write them both up. More work, but the thing with writing is, you often end up with a piece you never knew you had in you. So she should write away, maybe get some feedback, if desired, and then decide.</p>
<p>How self-serving? I think not at all. Have your daughter start by answering the question “what do I want them to know about me?” but that doesn’t mean to focus on “what I’ve done or accomplished.” There is plenty of space in the common app to address academic and related accomplishments, but nowhere, except the essay, to let them get to know her as a person. I suspect once she answers the first question, she will likely be able to identify a set of experiences that will tie together for the essay. </p>
<p>Grades and scores tell most of the academic story. I’ve always thought of the essays as a chance to show them something else. DD wrote about growing up an atheist in a close-knit Mormon community. It says a lot about who she is.</p>
<p>If it makes you feel any better, my D is also struggling with the Common App essay. She has tried a couple approaches that haven’t really worked, and is now on her 3rd attempt. She has done a bunch of her supplemental essays but is not “there” yet on the Common App essay. </p>
<p>Learning and teaching are not classroom-only activities; a hockey team can be as fine a venue to learn and to teach as a laboratory. From this perspective, a segue to “academic enthusiasm and love of learning” shouldn’t be inordinately difficult. </p>
<p>“But it gives no sense of her academic enthusiasm…or her love of learning…or her experience within her field.” It doesn’t have to. Think of it like an on-line first date: You want to tell your date something about you that’s not on your on-line profile. The rest of her application shows her academic enthusiasm, her love of learning, and her experience within her field. The essay is her chance to show them who she is. (I know a kid who got into a highly selective program having nothing to do with animals, using an essay about his childhood fascination with ducks.)</p>
<p>Just to give you an idea- i wrote mine last year to the failure prompt about how I learned the importance of self-advocacy when I got a C+ in physics (teacher problem). I got in 3/4 places I applied and got full tuition scholarships at 2 (for music). My brother, back when he was applying the “other” prompt still existed, wrote his about how he likes wearing sweater vests, he got in everywhere he applied, with substantial scholarships from all but his safety.</p>
<p>My D2 wrote about how she has tried to mimic Sherlock Holmes since she was in middle school… my other one wrote about her passion for her category in competitive speech. Neither was a big, flashy topic. I think you D can use her coaching topic, but the key is to make the essay show something about HER, not about her team or the sport. Specific anecdotes are good. Did she have a specific experience where she maybe lacked confidence but was trying to hide it? Took some advice from someone else that worked to improve her coaching? Gave up doing something else she wanted to do because of her coaching responsibilities? </p>
<p>Remember that her application isn’t just her common app essay. Her grades, recommendations, test scores, and ECs all tell a story as well. If she is short on space for her ECs, one tactic is to put “see additional information” in the description, and then bullet out additional facts/info in the additional info section. Not an extra essay, but something that lists her responsibilities at the Embassy, for example. That way the info gets into the app.</p>
<p>It is okay for the essay to show her personality, and let the rest of the app speak to her academic qualifications. </p>
<p>thanks to you all…great advice…and my D got a rough tonight on the hockey essay…so far, so good…</p>