Dad wants me to live at home & take BART to Berkeley every day

Colleges and Universities A-Z University of California - Berkeley
1

<p>So here's my situation, </p>

<p>I got into Berkeley (yay!) and I live in Fremont, CA, which is about 45-50 minutes away from UC Berkeley. </p>

<p>I was shocked when my dad told me that he preferred that I live at home and commute to Berkeley every day via BART (Bay Area Rapid Transit- it's kind of like a mix between a subway/train). It was so weird because my dad is all about independence, making your own mistakes, learning from your own experiences, venturing out into the real world, etc. However, he says that living at home would save him a lot of money (I think he said somewhere along the lines of $10,000 a year?) He mentioned that he and my mom lived at home and commuted to campus with no problem...but this was when they had just moved to America and didn't have the option or the money to live on campus.</p>

<p>Basically, I would wake up every day at around 6-7ish, drive to the BART station, park my car there, take the BART to Berkeley, go to class, do whatever I need to do there, get on the BART and go home at around...I'm not sure...6pm? </p>

<p>My dad says it's still totally up to me. And I really would like to live on campus just for the college experience, the convenience, the whole she-bang. I never even thought about living at home!</p>

<p>I've been applying to a lot of scholarships lately to help with the money issue and I think I have a good chance (crossing my fingers) at getting maybe at most, $10,000 total? </p>

<p>I would greatly appreciate any advice from any parents, Cal students...</p>

<p>What are the advantages/disadvantages to living on campus?</p>

<p>Parents, what advice can you give me from a parent's perspective?</p>

<p>Any other advice?</p>

<p>Thank you so much!!!</p>

2

<p>Uhh, you want "the college experience, the convenience, the whole she-bang" and it's entirely up to you? Why wouldn't you do dorms? Would your father not pay for your dorms or something?</p>

3

<p>just do the dorms, who cares! plus going to the bart station at night is kinda dangerous</p>

4

<p>No, you should not do that. Living on campus, in the dorms, your first year is highly recommended. You need to get adjusted to college life, meet people, make connections, etc. I use BART every once in a while going to SF, and it's a pain, I couldn't imagine using it every day. </p>

<p>If your stuck on a transit schedule, you'll miss out on study sessions, research opportunities, reviews, and making friends. You're social aspect at berkeley will certainly suffer. </p>

<p>Yes, living on campus can be a pain: sharing small rooms, sucky food, etc. But that's what college is all about! At least live on campus for the first year, than you can choose what to do.</p>

5

<p>You live in F-town too? What school? (Kennedy here)</p>

<p>My advice: Don't! You'll totally miss out on the college experience. Also, BART costs like 8 dollars every time.... 8 + 1 dollar parking x 5 x 40 = a lot of money! So really you don't save much!</p>

6

<p>Tell your dad that you want to live on campus for at least your 1st year.</p>

7

<p>The least expensive dorm is about $12,000. Fremont to Berkeley is quite some way... It might be stressful on your part to transit every. single. day. I live in San Francisco, but I'm opting to live on campus because it's simply easier to get around campus. I don't want to have to repeat high school when it comes to getting to school. Eugh.</p>

<p>I also had some Cal reps come to my school to talk about dorm life, and the best way to meet people is on campus, in dorms, etc. If you stay on campus, you're accessible to people. Likewise, other people are accessible to you. The only con I can think of for staying on campus is the cost, but with the cost of transportation now, wouldn't transportation cost more than its worth? You said you drive to a BART station (gas money; I don't know what kind of car you drive, but you know your own costs) and then you'll take the BART back ($8 a day). Just the fare alone will cost you $160 a month!</p>

<p>I don't know. I guess, in the end, it's up to you to make that decision. Good luck!</p>

8

<p>You don't have to dorm, either. There are other cheaper options, like the co-ops.</p>

9

<p>Check out the co-ops. They are markedly cheaper than the dorms. CAL has the most expensive dorms in the UC system (and IMO are not worth it)</p>

<p>I live 15 minutes from CAL and S1 is a student at CAL. He has lived at campus (dorm/coop) all 4 years.</p>

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<p>could someone explain more about what co-ops are?</p>

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<p>Academic</a> Year Housing : USCA Berkeley Student Co-op Housing Since 1933</p>

12

<p>I know someone who commuted via bart to berkeley from pleasanton.... so I guess from Fremont, it is doable. However, I think you should live on campus your first year at least as mentioned by lots of other ppl so you get used to the school and meet new ppl, etc etc. From my experience, it is very convenient to live in the dorms because you can run back to your room whenever you feel like it. However, if you live at home, you will basically live at the library between classes. It would be nice to live at home and the room costs here are evil but try the dorms your first year....maybe you can convince your parents to move to somewhere halfway between fremont and berkeley... haha. Maybe it would be a good investment.</p>

13

<p>It's not about money nor convenience, but rather about growing up.</p>

<p>The dorms are an invaluable part of social development, and you should do them in just about any situation. This even applies if your parents happen to live within a 15min walk to Berkeley.</p>

<p>Junior and senior years, maybe, but definitely not freshman year and hopefully not sophomore year.</p>

14

<p>Thanks everyone for your advice!! It's been extremely helpful.</p>

<p>To answer a couple of questions...</p>

<p>My dad would pay for it, but he's also paying for my tuition and my brother's tuition/off-campus housing at his college. Also, my mom is retiring soon, meaning there will only be one income. I want to try to help out with finances as much as I can.</p>

<p>I attend Irvington High School. Go Vikings!!</p>

<p>AND YES PLEASE, CAN SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN WHAT CO-OPS ARE?! I checked out their website but I'm still a little iffy about it. Their informational video seemed outdated. </p>

<p>Once again, thanks!!</p>

15

<p>It's EXTREMELY important that you live in the dorms your first year. Every year after that is whatever, you can even live at home and commute if you want, BUT YOUR FIRST YEAR YOU MUST LIVE IN THE DORMS!!!!</p>

<p>why??? because if you don't you're going to have one MISERABLE time at Berkeley.</p>

<p>look, you basically make your friends for the next four years in the dorms in your first year. and while this comment may be debated, it does have a lot of merit to it. sure, you pick up friends along the way, but your main core of people you know are established in the dorms.</p>

<p>you rarely meet people in class that you hang out with later. sure, this does happen, but people in class aren't all that happy to be there, and the last thing they need is some annoying kid trying to be friends with them. they already have friends, they don't need some creepy/clingy kid who they think just wants to be friends with them so they can steal notes later on during the year.</p>

<p>the few people i know who didn't live in the dorms their first year ended up having a miserable time at Cal. and again, while this may not be the case for you, if you're just commuting to campus and going back home after classes are over- you're going to get close to nothing from college. just....some random knowledge and a piece of paper saying you went here.</p>

<p>college is about so much more than class, heck, id say that class is one of the least important things ive taken away from college. the relationships you make, the memories you take away, the personal growth that happens through all the stuff that you experience-- THAT my friend is what college is about.</p>

16

<p>Well, I'm going to throw out a dissenting opinion here.</p>

<p>I think dorms are seriously overrated. You might make some friends, but it's generally hard to stay in touch with them except on a very superficial level (via social networking websites). This often applies even to the ones who are in your college or major.</p>

<p>Dorms also have their fair share of problems. The expensive, rip-off rates. Bundling meal points into the package when most students prefer to eat off-campus. Potential roommate conflicts. Substance abuse in public areas. Frat boys returning to their rooms 3 a.m. Saturday morning and making drunken rackets.</p>

<p>The problem with living in Berkeley your first year is that you'll get used to the convenience. I'm from the Bay Area, too. I seriously thought about commuting from home starting from my second year, but I never did, because I had already gotten used to returning to my room in between classes.</p>

<p>You can always make friends during classes; there's no need to shell out $15,000 a year for an extra 6-8 hours of "social time." Talk to your peers in your lab and discussion sections.</p>

17

<p>I agree the dorm experience can be a wonderful one, IF you can afford it. It's a lot of money to spend for socialization, as I've said before, but it IS socialization and it IS a great experience for most freshmen. It also depends on how social you are generally and how involved you are going to be in other activities. </p>

<p>That said, taking the BART from Fremont isn't nearly as bad as you make it out to be. There shouldn't be a need to transfer, the Berkeley BART station is right next to campus, and it's unlikely your schedule will require you to be at school every day as early or late as you suggest.</p>

18

<p>The dorms at Berkeley can cost (if you get assigned to Clark Kerr) nearly $16,000.00 per year (including meals). That means her father will probably have to earn at least $22,000.00 (depending on his tax bracket, it could be more than that) to make that payment. If I were the OP, I would make a couple of deals with my Dad. First, see if he can commit to letting her live the first year in the dorms so she can make friends and connections that will enhance her personal development and provide connections for future years. Second, agree to commute the second year or supplement the dorm payment through work or scholarships. With her mother retiring and her father presumably closer to retirement as well, the FAFSA EFC may change enough to get financial aid. (By the second year, you will have made many friends and will be able to bunk with them occasionally so you don't have to commute every single day.) Third: If you join a sorority, I believe living on campus gets A LOT cheaper. I know a few girls whose parents make them join/live at the sorority house for this reason. Fourth: Agree to commit to student loans to cover part or all of the cost of housing.
Lastly, if the OP does commute, she should immediately involve herself with one or more service groups on campus so she can meet new friends from all different walks of life.</p>

<p>Co-Ops are group living arrangements where people with similar interests agree to live together in off campus housing while sharing the responsibilities of running the house, such as weekly cooking and cleaning duties. They are much cheaper than the dorms. You can get more information about Co-Ops from the housing office. From my not very informed opinion, they are likely to be occupied by people who want to be social and enjoy group living, but are unlikely to be the type of students who find that by going into the greek system.</p>

<p>Anyway you decide to go, good luck and congratulations on your acceptance.</p>

19

<p>I would strongly recommend against co-ops freshman year. If you want the "freshman experience", live in the dorms. Later you could choose to live in a co-op if that is what you want.</p>

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<p>I am also from Fremont and I was deciding whether I should live at home or in the dorms too. The biggest factor for making me want to live at home was the money issue but I decided that I would live in the dorms for at least the first year. I think it would become annoying after awhile making a forty-five minute trip each way every day. I also want to get the real college experience and maybe it won't be all that its cracked up to be, but I'll never know until I try.</p>