Based o the title, you might have already identified my problem. I am a regular 10th grader.
I am a born dancer, not to brag, but really. My dance teachers have told me, i have the body, the flexibility, and the determination to become a prima ballerina, thats my dream.
I also want to be able to go to the New York City Ballet as a true career.
When you look at my parents POV wow there… slow down.
They believe that i was deemed to be a scientist, or a doctor. To help people and save lives. To go to Stanford or MIT.
I want to help people but that just not my thing.
I have been thinking over the last few months and came up with a plan, no, its not running away.
I looked on google maps and went to see how far was Columbia university from the NYCB, new york city ballet
I was so happy, they’re almost 5 minutes away from each other, but I’m so worried about my parents reaction.
Becoming a prima ballerina is literally dancing ALL DAY, thats what i love to do. So, how am i going to balance both?
So, i figured out that i would become a part time engineer and a part time ballerina, i know, it sounds pretty funny.
Please answer with your opinion on what i should and should not do based on my position, i am getting really short on time.And my parents are putting more and more pressure on me each day.
Great thanks to everyone who read this,
it means a lot to me.
You aren’t going to have time to do both. Going to be honest, if you were a candidate for NYCB, I think it would be really apparent by now. And no one can just assume they are going to get into Columbia. I think you should maybe see if you can double major in college, though – dance, and something that will pay the bills. It is a different problem that your parents want you to go to med school and you aren’t interested in that.
I have a good idea of exactly what you’re going through. When I was in 10th grade, my life revolved around music, and my dream was of having a career as a soloist. Just like your parents, my parents wanted me to pursue science, and I fought against the idea out of stubborness. Long story short, I got some more experience in scientific research and computer science, and realized that I loved the STEM fields as much as I loved music. Ironically, I will be attending MIT.
However, in your case, it really does sound like dancing is your passion, and I would encourage you to keep working towards it. I don’t think it’s worth going into engineering just because your parents want you to; it is hard to be successful in a field you’re not at least a little invested in. Keep dancing and hold on to your dreams. Just don’t completely shut down science as an option, because you may be surprised at what it has to offer, like I was.
@violingirl15 Thank you so much, you comment is exactly what i need, i am worried my passion for dance cannot override my parents wish to become a doctor. I play the violin for 8 years now too! Thanks again!!!
You are welcome! As a final piece of advice, remember that your parents really do want what’s best for you. Rather than treating the problem as a matter of overriding your parents’ will, try thinking about working collaboratively with them. I don’t know how good you are, but try to avoid straitjacketing yourself into one career goal too early, like I did! It can’t hurt to try job shadowing a doctor for a day, or self-studying the basics of engineering. Other than that, best of luck with your future!
If being a ballerina is “dancing all day,” you’re not going to have time for being a “part-time engineer” – a profession for which the schooling is rigorous and highly structured. It might be hard to double major in another subject period, let alone one that wants all of your time.
First of all, my daughter is also in 10th grade and training to become a ballerina. She trains for over 22 hours a week. She attends a PAHS for ballet and then goes to a pre-professional ballet training program in the afternoon/evenings. She also auditions for and attends Summer Intensives every summer for 5/6 weeks (plus shorter programs in August).
Most people who are professionals with NYCB enter through their school (SAB) and they enter through the school via the summer intensive. Have you auditioned for their SI or attended their SI? If not, it would be surprising for that to happen at this point. This is not to say you can’t or won’t become a ballerina in a professional company, just probably not NYCB. What is your training like? It would be unheard of to be a part time professional ballerina/part time engineer.
There are plenty of stellar college programs where you can work towards a BFA and receive pre-professional level training while also working towards a 2nd major or more likely a minor. One of my daughter’s plans it to attend college and attain her BFA and have a dual major or minor in PT or Kinesiology. Another option is to get into a college program and defer, with the idea that you will audition for trainee ships/second company spot with a company and see where that leads. Or, you can shoot straight for a company (first level is trainee/second company) auditions. Most of these positions are attained through attending the companies SI, where you are evaluated for the full time position.
We are constantly thinking about these options and doing research. The big hurdle is getting the quality and quantity of training that you need right now to even audition and be considered for this progression.
Please take a look at Ballet Talk for Dancers, which a Ballet focused forum moderated by adult ballet mistress/masters.
Engineering schedule will take your full focus, and although you might be able to fit in a workout at the gym or a dance class on campus, you would not be able to devote enough time to dance alongside engineering.
You are only in 10th grade, so you have some time. Show respect to your parents’ ideas by asking them to help you find ways to shadow some different kinds of medical professionals. Then, after you have followed through with those ideas, find some ways to get independent verification of your dance skills. In my hometown, I would have sent my D to an audition with our large metro area ballet company. Some of the girls in her local dance class did leave at age 11 to go on to study at the professional city ballet company.
If you really are a born dancer, then you need to put yourself in front of as many professionals as possible. Are there traveling dance weekend events that come through your town? Or can you travel to a summer intensive week long session somewhere? You need proof beyond your own dance classes (where you are paying them to take classes) to show to your parents how your talent is worthy of a full-time professional career.
First of all, thank you so much for responding to my question!
@ClassicRockerDad , i totally agree!!! Why aren’t we allowed to chose our own professions! @mom2girls , no, i have not attended their SI, talking about the NYCB. if i were to not go into NYBC, what other ballet schools in NY would you suggest? @violingirl15 , thanks again! and what you suggested is a great idea!
i will defiantly try shadowing for a day!
Columbia is an absolutely amazing school. I will actually be going there next fall.
What you need to do is plan out your next few years. I can see you have a great passion for dance, but you should really look at reality. First of all, you will most likely not have time for both. Engineering is hard. Like REALLY hard. It would be possible but near impossible to manage the time for both. And before that you need to focus on getting into Columbia (with its 6.1% acceptance rate out of about 36,000 of the smartest students around the world.
Will you be okay with a ballerina’s salary (max about $50,000)? How long are the hours? Will you travel a lot? What advice do current ballerina’s have for aspiring dancers? Do they love it? What do current ballerina’s not like about their current job? These are all questions you should look at. You’re only in 10th grade so I agree with @violingirl15 about how you shouldn’t completely shut down science as a choice. But in the end if you are happy with your decision then that’s all that matters. Just don’t regret it later in life. Time doesn’t flow backwards. Parents usually gravitate towards making their kids doctors because it’s generally the most stable living you can get and the pay is pretty high. Along with that, it also harbors a lot of respect and you’re literally saving lives.
The reality is that most dancers are not good enough to make a living performing. Another reality is that there are hundreds of careers besides being a doctor or a dancer. And another is that there may be careers that blend some aspects of the two. For example, a physical therapist who specializes in sports injuries. There are also other careers related to dance – teaching, choreography, or working on the business side. I think you and your parents are being equally close minded, and both are focused on career goals that are very difficult to accomplish.
Also, the parents of a dancer can speak to this, but I am not sure the truly elite ballerinas go to college, at least full time. Those college age years are prime years for an athlete. And you can’t just jump to a major ballet company – is there a local company in your city?
I was hoping that my daughter would take on dancing. We sent her to all sorts of dance lessons and performing art classes when she was younger. Nope, she is going to Columbia to study BME, wants nothing to do with dancing. There is no way you can force someone to dance if she doesn’t want to move. Same thing as becoming a doctor or an engineer if his/her heart is not in it for the grueling studying.
When I was in high school, I wanted to become a fashion designer and a model. My mother told me that I should go to college to “get a real degree” first so I could support myself. Of course, I wasn’t very happy about that advice so I randomly picked engineering just to show her, while dabbled in runway modeling on the side. My plan was to pursue what I want after college graduation. Well, I stayed with engineering ever since, never looked back to the fashion world after I realized how competitive and cut throat the it was. More importantly, I was really lacking talent comparing to all other creative minds in the industry. My mother knew that, I didn’t.
My son’s friend loves music, but his parents wanted him to become an engineer. So he did. But as soon as he graduated from college with an engineering degree, he went back to writing his music and study to become a conductor, never worked a day as an engineer. All four years of colleges and time was “wasted” on something he refused to pursue.
Sometimes the parents know best. Sometimes, the kid knows better. Do realize that the parents are always look out for their kids’ future. They meant well, but they should not force their desire on the children. Instead, talk it out, discuss the pros and cons of different career path. Find out if there is a way to get a marketable degree that you like, while continue to pursue your passion.
As a sports mom, what happens if you get injured to the point that you can’t dance?
(Just thinking aloud.) Pursue what you want, but you really need to be able to support yourself if you can’t, for some reason, become a professional dancer.
If I can be blunt, how good are you? Have you received scholarships for prestigious summer dance intensives? Have you participated in YAGP? Have you gotten offers to be a trainee at any companies? Are you a member of a ballet company? If you are nationally or regionally competitive, you should know by now, and/or should have sought out opportunities like these.
In case you haven’t guessed, I am the mother of a dancer and spend a lot of time around ballerinas.
There are a few ways of thinking about this
go for dance, give it your all, pursue your dream, and if it doesn’t work, there will be time for college later. That said, if you end up going to college at 25 or 30, you won’t have that residential college experience, your fellow students will look painfully young, and getting money for school may be challenging, especially if your parents aren’t willing to subsidize your education by that point.
Pursue a BFA at an accredited college or university. Fordham is an excellent NYC-based option, for example. If you are willing to look beyond NYC, there are many options. I know a number of young people who have pursued dance degrees at our state university, often double majoring in something dance related (exercise science, kinesiology, pre PT, etc). They have then gone on to get jobs in companies internationally. It is possible to pursue your dance dreams and get a college education at the same time.
(subset of #2) Look towards schools that have in house ballet companies that are well regarded. Princeton and Harvard come to mind.
Finally, I believe that Northeastern University has an outreach program with Boston Ballet that facilitates dancers getting their degrees part time. The two are very close to one another. That might be an option if you are of Boston Ballet caliber.
DD17 has been training in ballet since very young. We have discussed this same topics many times ever since she started dancing for a pre-professional ballet company starting when she was in middle school. Finally, last year, at 10th grade, she decided that she will choose academic and quit ballet company. Ballet is and will continue to be one of her top EC’s and she is still taking lessons 3-4x a week but just not be in the performing company.
This is absolutely the best decision she could’ve made as she isn’t the top of the top talent in ballet and she knew how competitive ballet is. I am very pleased that she came to that conclusion on her own without me leading her to it.
Since quitting ballet company last year, she has much more time to focus on school so able to maintain her 4.0 GPA and devote time to additional academic related EC’s. Ballet is now so much fun for her as it’s no longer a job but a hobby.
Oh my gosh!!! @mamaedefamilia thank you so so so so much! Recently i have been giving up on pursuing this dance company as a dream! What you said might be just what i need to tell my parents!!! God bless you! Thank you so much again!!!
