Dark Past, Want to Pursue PhD - Please Read Without Judgement (LONG)

Graduate School
1

<p>I will try to summarize this as best as I can, however I already know there is going to be a lot of judgement thrown my way for this post but I am hoping for some sincere advice.</p>

<p>I am going to be starting my senior year of undergrad this coming fall and have to make the decision whether or not to pursue a graduate degree. Being a non-traditional student (aka old guy mid 20's) I don't have much time to sit around and think about it as I prefer to keep my momentum going and have already put myself years behind in my life compared to where I should be. More on that later...</p>

<p>Growing up I was always in advanced classes, learning came easy to me. My third grade teacher called me a "sponge". I was in the gifted program since elementary school. High school transcript full of honors courses. 31 act score first try. Graduated with honors.</p>

<p>Problem was I started hanging with the metaphorical "wrong crowd". I believe you all can see where this is going. Instead of being someone who no one cared about, who was picked on by neighborhood kids, who had a troubled family life with two parents who barely got their GED's I was now where I wanted to be. I was drinking, partying, surrounded by all kinds of people having fun.</p>

<p>Long story short I got in trouble just months after turning 18, serious trouble. Two felonies, arson and breaking and entering. I never spent any time in jail but a lot of probation.</p>

<p>During this time I spiraled downward even farther believing my life was over. I ended up broke and with another felony tampering with evidence, again no jail time.</p>

<p>The depression got worse and drugs and alcohol became the problem. 3 OVI's. Minimal jail time. 10 days, 15 days.</p>

<p>But I'm still cleaning up the mess and dealing with the consequences both in my life, and internally with myself. It has lead to a lot of soul searching, but I am dealing with my alcohol problem.</p>

<p>Anyways. Enough of the bad part of the story, on to the question. I know it's stupid to even ask. But how would I approach graduate school?</p>

<p>My most recent escapade did nothing but show me how I no longer want to live and what I should have been pursuing all along, the one thing that has always been important to me, knowledge. </p>

<p>Academically I am doing great. I'm on track to graduate with a B.S. in M.I.S. with around a 3.7 GPA. I'm confident if I take the GRE or GMAT I could score in the 80th or 90th percentile when studying. My confidence in my academic ability is unquestioned within myself.</p>

<p>I want a PhD. I don't think I've ever wanted something this much in my life. The idea of dedicating my life to research doesn't bother me. I welcome it. It would actually give me a purpose instead of going through life feeling like a worthless second class citizen. I could forsake friends, women, and a social life for a chance to prove myself in such a position.</p>

<p>I've even found the field I'd love to go into. Informatics, specifically Social Informatics or Informatics with a focus on Complex Systems.</p>

<p>Am I deluding myself into thinking someone with such a horrid past can come back to achieve something great? I firmly believe I could do it given the opportunity. </p>

<p>I've been very smart with my undergrad and will graduate with either zero debt or debt that can be paid off within a year.</p>

<p>Is it even worth trying to pursue? The money for testing and application is not a big deal to me.
How should I pursue it? Say no on the application to get an interview, then come clean in person of my own accord?</p>

<p>In all seriousness I would pursue life as a hobbit if I needed to.</p>

<p>Any sincere advice is welcome. I do not wish to be judged, I do that enough on my own.</p>

<p>Thank you.</p>

2

<p>Whatever you do, don’t lie on an application. That will simply lead to you being rejected or dismissed when you are found out and it reinforces the poor choices you have made in the past.</p>

<p>If you r academics are good and you have research experience and strong letters of reference then the doors are not necessarily closed to graduate school. You need to apply to a range of schools because not all of them will want to take a chance on you. However, if you are a strong applicant then someone will likely take the risk.</p>

<p>I do see one potential problem. It is questionable whether a university will want to give you a Teaching Assistant position with your record. They take their custodial responsibility for undergraduate seriously. You need to be looking for a Resaerch position right away or be prepared to self-fund a Masters degree first.</p>

3

<p>Nothing wrong with reinventing yourself at any age Phoenix. Go for it. </p>

<p>Seek out your professors during office hours and share your interest. You’ve got a decent GPA and must have impressed a few of them with your ability. Ask them what they think - which schools may have programs for you to consider. You’ll probably need some recommendations so work your connections now while you’re still finishing your BS. </p>

<p>(PS given that many members of this forum have kids in college or getting ready to enter college, you should realize we don’t consider 20’s to be old! So you might want to be a little more decorous when asking for feedback) :wink: </p>

4

<p>I don’t have much more to say than what xraymancs said, but I want to reiterate this point:</p>

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</p>

<p>No, no, no, no. This is quite possibly the worst thing you could do in this situation. Just… no.</p>

5

<p>I don’t think graduate school applications ask about that. I don’t remember my app asking if I’d ever been convicted of a felony, and I’m pretty sure they didn’t do a background check.</p>

<p>What they care about is</p>

<p>-Your fit with the program, i.e., whether any professors are doing work similar to what you want to pursue
-Your research experience. If you don’t have any, you need to get some. You need at least 2-3 years (part or full time) before you are competitive for top PhD programs.
-Your GPA, which is good, so don’t worry about that.
-Your GRE scores, to a certain extent. They need to be passable (around 70th percentile in verbal and probably higher in quant - at least 85th-90th - for your quantitative field) but once you pass the threshold how much higher they are won’t matter.</p>

<p>If they do ask on the app, though, no, definitely do not lie. Answer truthfully. You don’t want to get kicked out of the program 3 or 4 years in because they realized that you lied on your application.</p>

6

<p>Thank you all for the replies. </p>

<p>The one major problem I did see was any type of teaching position, and thus tuition reimbursement and a stipend. I would never endanger the school or do anything unethical. If offered something like this I would see it through to the end, no matter what, with full effort and focus solely on research and my education.</p>

<p>Funding myself for a masters is a possibility if I stay in state and get some type of scholarship. Not a possibility for a PhD. </p>

<p>The problem then becomes pursuing a dream, but not wanting to be burdened by lifelong debt with the end result being unemployability because of a my past.</p>

<p>I do however think this could become my greatest strength. If schools are looking for someone with 100% dedication, willing to do endless hours of research and focus on virtually nothing else besides school then I’m the man for that. To me getting my foot in the door while being honest is almost impossible, but I am totally willing to be honest.</p>

<p>When I read the descriptions and types of research conducted in the fields of social informatics and informatics with a focus on complex systems I knew right then either of those would be perfect for me. I have many ideas and run through many questions of my own that would be a perfect fit for those areas. Now it’s just a matter of hoping someone will take a chance on me.</p>

<p>Thanks again.</p>

7

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<p>I was not asked either when I applied to grad school, but this is changing. Recently I heard my advisor complaining that hiring students is take much longer than it used to because they are doing criminal background checks.</p>

<p>TP, what juillet said is basically right. Your background won’t come up in most cases. Grad Schools will care about the usual grades, experiences, and GRE scores. I see your background as something more you should be careful about. </p>

<p>You can ask for grad school applications, and apply to those places that do not ask about your background. It is not hard to simply download applications and look them over. You could also call grad coordinators and subtly ask about this type of thing…criminal background checks. This is one possibility. It is not lying.</p>

<p>Academics can have varying backgrounds too. I once heard a story from 10 or so years back about how a university wanted to do criminal background checks on faculty. The faculty had a fit. Many of them had criminal backgrounds because of protesting they did in the late 60’s</p>

<p>Another possibility is coming clean in an essay. Many grad school applications ask about what your greatest life challenges is and how you overcame it. This is risky. If you do this I’d recommend hiring some type of admissions consultant…Pay $100 an hour to read this over and make sure it helps and not hurts. This is something a grad school admissions consultant could actually help with.</p>

8

<p>I’ve worked at 2 hospitals under 4 different owners. The last 3 owners pulled criminal history files on every single employee and fired the ones that lied on their applications or had crimes of moral turpitude. They also required the background checks of their contractors (IT professionals too). So be prepared that your past may follow you. My state requires fingerprinting and background checks of some state employees (including faculty).</p>

<p>Absolutely go after your dreams. But develop a clear history that you are clean guy and have been rehabilitated. Volunteer in areas helping others like you or organizations where you can document a history of being a “good” citizen. Prepare your possible future defense soon. I routinely did online criminal, Facebook, court docket background checks on all applicants for my group. If anything came back suspicious, we wouldn’t interview the candidates. </p>

9

<p>Thanks for the extra input. I really can’t volunteer right now. I’m taking 15 credit hours and working part time.</p>

<p>It’s been about 6 years since any felony charges. The alcohol was more recent as turning 21 and living with party friends led to alcohol issues. They have been handled or are being currently handled (treatment to stay sober).</p>

<p>I’m fully aware and have realistic expectations about my place in the job market. That being said I think I could do some real research in my fields of interest to prove my worth and maybe get a chance in more liberal states, job arenas, or in the future as times and society change.</p>

<p>I truly appreciate the advice. I have a few ideas about trying to fund at least a masters.</p>

10

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<p>Some of my applications to grad school asked if I had any prior convictions or had ever been convicted of a misdemeanor or felony. It probably depends on the school, but it may depend on the field as well.</p>

<p>I know I had a background check as well, but I always assumed it was because of my field. But as other posters have said, it may not be field specific, it may depend on the school and the professor, and it may be changing.</p>

11

<p>I’m just sort of throwing this out there…Could you contact some organization like this one? <a href=“http://asistsigsi.■■■■■■■■■■■■■/”>http://asistsigsi.■■■■■■■■■■■■■/&lt;/a&gt; In other words, a professional group in the field you’re interested in and ask your questions there? You might be able to post your questions anonymously on bulletin board and get advice there. Maybe you could search old messages and see if anyone else has asked. Or maybe you could email an officer and ask. </p>

<p>If you haven’t already done so, I’d also post your question on the graduate school forum.</p>

12

<p>Thanks jonri for that link! I will definitely do that. The only other professional interest site I found was a bit dated.</p>

13

<p>As a follow-up, my university requires background checks for anyone teaching a class, tenure-track faculty, part-time instructors, and TAs. I suspect that most universities do that now.</p>

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<p>I am late to this party, but I just wanted to ask - how long since your last criminal activity? I have a misdemeanor on my record but there were 6-7 clean years between that conviction and applying to grad schools. If you have something in the last year or two you will have a much rougher time of it than if you have 4+ years without incident.</p>

15

<p>I’m sure a lot of universities do now, especially public universities. I had to do an annoying background check as part of the application process for a research assistantship at an outside non-profit. It was understandable in their case because they also provide clinical services to children, but they did before they even hired me (and they ended up going with someone else, so now they have personal information about me…somewhere).</p>

<p>My university didn’t do this before, but I think they may be doing it now for research and teaching positions. I also know that they started drug-testing ALL of their employees, which I think is unnecessarily invasive.</p>

16

<p>Good point Juillet. One owner of my hospital required a background check of physician, midlevel, and high paid professional applicants before we could interview them. If there were any serious issues, legal or ethical, found during that background check we could not interview those applicants.</p>

<p>I think the OP need to start a long process of establishing a clean record. I am hopeful you will find the opportunities and institutions who value your background and give you a chance.</p>

17

<p>Someone told me that some states, e.g. CA, doesn’t report a felony after 7 years.In my state, they do. </p>