<p>I have never seriously considered dating a black woman. I’m white, and I’m open to other races, I just never find myself attracted to black girls or Indian girls. Latina, Asian, etc. I’d be interested in.</p>
<p>I guess it’s all a matter of individual taste.</p>
<p>you got the wrong forum </p>
<p>Sent from my C5155 using CC</p>
<p>Wrong thread Nihility.</p>
<p>And the statement “I’m just not attracted to black women.” has always been really peculiar to me. Is it racist? I personally don’t think so- the same way no one is obligated to be attracted to certain aspects, cultures, or races. I don’t have to like you if I don’t want to.</p>
<p>But at the same time, it just sounds and feels awkward to hear “I’m sorry, I don’t find your race attractive.” so often. And why don’t people? Just because? Or is the color of someone’s skin and their ethnic features not considered to be pretty/beautiful/pleasant-looking? Or is it the social stigma that surrounds black people/black women? Typically, people who are not attracted to blacks usually are fine with East and South Asians, who have pretty different facial features from whites. </p>
<p>I think it boils down to society’s perception and projection of beauty, which tends to be Eurocentric, and can be, at times, racist. Makes me wonder what “pretty” would be if blacks were the majority and white people had gone through history in the place of blacks. Makes me wonder if “I’m not attracted to black girls” truly isn’t a racist statement. I don’t know. Can attraction be taught? Is the perception of beauty taught?</p>
<p>And seriously, yes- if someone’s cute, they’re cute! And that’s that!</p>
<p>@Nihility: There are Latinas who are black (LaLa Vasquez, Carmelo Anthony’s wife), and then there are those who look like Jennifer Lopez. So, what type of Latina were you talking about?</p>
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I’m always the one to bring this up when Latinos come up in a race discussion. Thanks for that. </p>
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<p>It’s the silky, straight hair and light skin. He’s probably attracted to some black girls who exhibit those features.</p>
<p>Meh. Many black women don’t find non black men attractive (completely ASININE, might I add), so I guess what we perceive as attractive is learned. I authored a research paper in my AP Lit class wherein I dissected the themes in The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison. It was a very interesting read. I learned about the damaging effects America’s beauty standards have on black women (black men as well, but to a FAR lesser extent) and it was eye opening. Just to be told your very skin tone is filth, well. Fascinating. </p>
<p>I guess Nihility is simply looking for features similar to those in his race. I’m unsure of what to make of this. In this day and age, I don’t know if shunning certain features is a result of preferences, or if it results from believing them to be inherently repulsive having been conditioned in this society.</p>
<p>If anyone has taken psychology, then you’d definitely know that preferences are learned.</p>
<p>[The</a> Clark Doll Experiment Abagond](<a href=“http://abagond.■■■■■■■■■■■■■/2009/05/29/the-clark-doll-experiment/]The”>The Clark Doll Experiment | Abagond)
The Clark Doll experiment anyone?
So I still wonder what “I’m not attracted to black women” really means, where it comes from, and what it says.
And a little personal anecdote- a classmate of mine (not a huge sample size I’ll admit, although double standards are a problem) admitted that when black people have colors and colorful weaves in their hair, it’s ghetto, but when when white females do it, it’s not “ghetto” and “works better.” But “black girls can’t do it.” Not to turn the thread into a race issues discussion, but the perception of beauty when race is involved is so interesting.</p>
<p>Preferences are learned. How they are learned or what is preferred isn’t necessarily racist at its root.</p>
<p>There is so much culture, upbringing, experience, history and psychology all mixed into this that it’s a minefield to discuss.</p>
<p>It makes sense to be attracted to your own race esp if thats who you grew up around and have friends that are mostly like you. End of story.</p>
<p>Tchao everyone. And Good Luck !</p>
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<p>ForeIN does that mean if you grew up mainly around people who are a different race it make sense if your attracted to them? Just wondering, I’ve never understood how race can factor into being attracted to someone in any way</p>
<p>Yes Summer that’s what im saying, because i have cousins who grew up mostly around non blacks & dont seem to prefer dating other blacks 
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<p>I mean, the real question OP is, are you a girl or a guy? If you are a guy, don’t worry, you can date in college easily, french girls, italian girls, any kinds, as long as you are willing to go to parties and be social,its really not too hard. But if you are a girl, hahahaha, dating, you probably will not date. Or you will have to fight really hard to find a guy willing to date you if you are a black girl. I go to Columbia and all my friends, even though many of them are pretty, are single and rarely, if ever, get asked out on dates. I’ve heard black guys hear say they just don’t want to date black girls and I’ve seen with my own eyes, how much less attention black girls get.My roommate first sem was white, and guys would come to her, ask her out, and even make her lunch because they liked her. I was the darker little sister by her side, pretty much invisible. I’ve kind of given up on trying to look attractive lately and wear exclusively sweat pants/shorts and sneakers with my ponytail back. Give up, you know. What’s the point?</p>
<p></3</p>
<p>I’m sorry. I wish I could hug you.</p>
<p>eh. its not sadness. its just me telling the truth. Sure, sometimes the truth doesn’t make us feel good but it is what it is. I’ve made my peace with it, but to claim to black girls, "don’t worry about husbands, the “perfect guy” will find you is a dangerous fallacy that can only lead to years of bitterness. Any black girl today, must prepare for the possibility that she may be single for her entire life or never get married. that is the way of things.</p>
<p>Census stats show this to be the case. Black women are the least likely of any race to marry outside of their race. Black women marry later than any other race, are more likely to be single parents than any other race and more likely to be single and alone in retirement than any other race. Because single females are the also the poorest category of people, black women are the poorer than any other race. Marriage is a economically advantageous to people and black women are lacking the most in that category.</p>
<p>Ugly stats but true. I don’t see this changing for the better anytime soon either.</p>
<p>The black girls I know who have good dating lives in college told me that they often date non blacks and let them know that they are interested. They tend to be at earthy colleges where interracial relationships are no big deal. They sometimes have to ask the guys out. Those dating black guys met them through a friend or family member with the intent on ‘dating’.
HS
(Others are at HBCUs. Those guys, obviously, are just fine with black girls…given their choice of college. The odds are in the guys’ favor (3-1 female to male ratio), but at least the guys there clearly will date black girls.)</p>
<p>I really like the point nil desperandum made. </p>
<p>My high school is about 50% black, and I’ve been told many times by the guys in my school that I’m “too intimidating” for anyone to ask me out on a date. Which leads me to believe that black women in higher education who are intelligent/successful, are seriously disadvantaged. They’re (we’re) seen as being too scary, and too intimidating, when all we’re trying to do is to make something of ourselves.</p>
<p>Is my assumption unfounded? Or does anyone else believe that a highly educated African American women are seen as “too intimidating” in the eyes of potential suitors?</p>
<p>I agree with you ladylikeliz. I think educated, intelligent, motivated African-American women are seen as intimidating. My guy friends have told me that I seem like I am “too smart” to ever like any of them like that.</p>
<p>I’ve seen my S have the hardest time in relationships with black females in high school. I don’t understand it but there is a tension there, maybe misguided expectations or deep emotional baggage/immaturity or an acting out on negative stereotypes.</p>