Hi, i will be attending Princeton in the fall of 2015 as a freshman. I have a serious boyfriend who i love so much, and we have plans to continue our relationship in college (he is an athlete going to penn state), but i am scared that it 1. will not work out 2. is not the best way to have a full college experience (with partyng and hookingup) and 3. scared that if i do end things with him, will i find someone who i love so much and is as amazing as he is to me in college? And i know high school love sounds crazy because we are “too young”, but i have had relationships in the past and i can assure that this one is very sincere and true. I just do not know what to do this upcoming august, and i cannot stop thinking about our end. When we discussed college, he was 100% ready to continue this in college and after, and i know him well enough to the sincerity of his words (if there is anyone who will end our relationship, it will be me, honestly speaking–he never will). I don’t know if i will find someone at princeton who i connect to so deeply, are there sincere guys who are loyal, amazing and respectable to girls at Princeton that will date freshman girls sincerely? I am struggling because I see myself dating someone in college and continuing the relationship until possible marriage, yes I know this is not how love works and it is good to experiment, but i just am not that kind of person. Please help
You may or may not find someone at Princeton whom you connect with deeply–but a big part of that will depend on you. If you’re open to meeting new people, there’s a chance you will find that special someone; if you’re not, though, you definitely won’t. Your high school boyfriend may end up being the love of your life, but you really are too young to know. Why not continue the relationship but encourage each of you to meet and date other people too when you leave for college? That will give you both more experience, allow each of you to make the most of your college relationships, and be a good test of whether or not your high school romance should continue after college. Sometimes couples do this and end up with new partners in college, only to get back together again after college or graduate school. College really is a wonderful opportunity to meet people–there will probably never again be so many interesting people in one place, so take advantage of that.
thank you so much for your response. I was thinking of taking a break at the end of august, and if by the start of second semester we really cannot connect with others, that we should go back (considering he too feels the same way). Would this be a good plan? That we stay in contact (because we will be meeting at meets where Princeton and Penn state are both competing)? Also, do a lot of people at Princeton tend to date starting freshman year etc and do they continue the relationship after college?
it is just hard because i truly cannot imagine life without him, and it pains me to think that at the start of college i will not be with him. We do not go to the same school, but live relatively close to each other. We met each other through competitions, and we do not see each other everyday, but mostly once a week on Saturday due to our busy practice schedules. He plans to have us both go to NYC every weekend when in college to meet, but this is a major commitment and I do not know if i am making the right decison (halting a chance to meet new Princeton guys and experiment). He says he would do it for me and I said the same back because i do feel that way, but at the same time i am getting the blues because im not sure if i want to give up the social life of princeton on saturdays, give up an opportunity to meet new guys, but also i do not want to give up him
I can’t speak to the dating scene at Princeton in particular, but at any top college you’ll have the opportunity to meet lots of great people. Why preclude that at your age? There’s no harm in staying in touch with your boyfriend, but it just seems like you should both be able to meet new people. Promising to go to NYC every weekend seems a bit much and would definitely cut into your social life at Princeton. Why not just leave things open, with the possibility of meeting in NYC once in a while but no definite commitment to do so? You may find that you end up going there a lot at first but that after you acclimate to Princeton and start meeting more people, you no longer want to make the trek.
that is true. thank you so much. i think i will reassess in august, and say to take a break where we can both meet new people. it is just hard right now knowing there is an end to love like before. do you think, honestly speaking, i will find a guy i love as much as him and that treats me as well as him at princeton?
My hometown boyfriend and I have been doing long distance since we left for college in August. It sucks, but Skype and phone calls and Facebook mean that you can still feel connected even though you’re not physically together. Maybe one of you can visit the other once or twice per semester.
Meeting in NYC every weekend sounds…expensive. And you’ll have homework to do!
It almost sounds like you WANT to find someone “better” at Princeton. All I will say about that is – what happens if you dump your boyfriend preemptively and don’t end up meeting anyone else you like that way? I say go still attached. If things change, you can break it off later.
There are wonderful people to meet at Princeton, just as there are at Penn State. Usually, these HS relationships don’t last past Columbus Day. Sometimes you hear of people rekindling romances later in life.
It’s tough, and I feel for you.
There are plenty of “adult” relationships that are sincere and true, that involve being married for years, having kids… and divorcing. You’d think they’d be better judges of such things as adults, but half the time, … no.
The best advice I can give is for you two to have a mutual stopping point for your current relationship. You’ll both be young adults meeting all kinds of new people, and someone might click with one or both of you. And you’ll also have plenty of chances to find out what kinds of person work for each of you, and what kind doesn’t.
If you both happen to end up after college back where you grew up, and if you are both single then (or even coming off college relationships that ended for similar reasons as this one), then you can be open to starting up again together as adults. With NO guilt about that 4 year period of exploring and discovering young adulthood.
P.s. Congratulations on your admission to Princton!
" do you think, honestly speaking, i will find a guy i love as much as him and that treats me as well as him at princeton? " How can anyone answer this? But why is the answer so consuming you? What if you don’t? Will there be something missing that you currently have? Sure. But life doesn’t owe you this. You’ll likely live another seventy years. Between now and your college graduation is only a blip. Please please open your mind, emotions, and heart to every adventure and opportunity that presents itself. Maybe there’s a guy standing next to you. Maybe there’ll be several guys standing next to you throughout that journey. So what? Don’t allow your having or not having a relationship encompass such a large percentage of your identity or what you consider happiness or fulfillment.
I am not sure this thread even belongs on the Princeton College Confidential site since it has very little to do with Princeton and much more to do with you as a person. You’d honestly be advised to talk to someone whose opinion you respect and who actually knows you well. Taking dating advice from even well meaning strangers isn’t going to be much help and most likely as you grow and change through those first months of college you are going to need and appreciate a trusted friend’s insight on a regular basis.
Really this is more College Life fodder. Just enjoy your time now, you don’t have to decide anything. But NO to meeting in NY every weekend. That is too draining and time consuming and takes away from your bonding and meeting with new friends. Plan to see each other a couple times during the semester and on breaks, then assess. Better to decide once you are in new surroundings and have at least a semester of experience at college.
Just roll with it. Enjoy your senior year and deal with it later. Things work themselves out. My friend is also a freshman at Princeton and boyfriend goes to Lehigh. They have kept their relationship going just fine…with texting, face time etc you stay connected. BUT I have a feeling you may be a little busier than he. You will be studying A LOT!!! It may be nice to have a boyfriend somewhere else…you can focus on your studies and develop some really good female friendships that maybe you wouldnt have if you had a bf there! You should be so happy right now. You are going to Princeton!!! Go Tigers
I think everything important has been said, except that there is no way that you’ll have the time to take trips every weekend. 
<3
Whatever happens, I wish you the best. It’s hard, no matter how you slice it. I never in a million years thought I would be in this situation, but I MIGHT be facing being in a long distance relationship with a special someone depending on how things go over this summer. We are already kind of long distance (the person lives about an hour away, but we are in an organization and have gone to events and encampments and stuff together), but it will be longer distance.
I’m a fellow irrational 17, near 18, year old hoping this relationship will be “the one.” It’s in our DNA, I think, lol. Just whatever happens, stop and think before acting. Best of luck.
Awwn
Good luck xoxo
Please do not revive old threads! This one is a year-old.