Daughter accepted with scholarship yet does not want to visit

Colleges and Universities A-Z University of Alabama
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<p>"research on assistive devices), "</p>

<p>Then a MechE degree with a couple extra bio classes may be all that she needs. </p>

<p>“threads it seems as though bama has good pre-med career advising. Would they help DD get clinical hours/advising needed if she decides on a PT/PA track?”</p>

<p>The Pre-health advising office is often sending out emails with opportunities. Schools don’t “assign” kids to clinical hours or shadowing. Students need to be pro-active, read the emails, and avail themselves of the opportunities.</p>

<p>That said, it is also important that a pre-health student join the pre-health student group. Lots of info and opps are learned thru that. As for advising, a pre-health student makes his/her appt online on the website.</p>

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<p>visit scheduled!</p>

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<p>Yay!!!</p>

<p>Roll Tide!</p>

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<p>Sorry, 16apache, but no parent should be required to pay for an adult child’s college. That is the type of thing that makes people not like attorneys. That being said, the parent should WANT to help their child, but it is not always best for the student. We told all of our kids when they were very little that college was on them. We would prepare them as best we could, but they would need to get scholarships, work or join the military to pay for college. We did offer to let them live at home to save money if they wanted and also offered to help with the 1st semester of a local state school to get the ball rolling. College education is not a right. It is a priviledge. In my experience, students who pay their own way do better as they are more motivated to do well.</p>

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<p>“it is not always best for the student.”</p>

<p>I must admit, I can’t think of many circumstances where a hard-working student gets into highly selective schools out of state like UNC, and the parent can readily afford to pay, but it isn’t best for the student to go to UNC. Maybe if the student is in recovery from an addiction and the parents think it’s best that she stay home. Absent a settlement agreement, the parent has a right not to pay, and that may be best for the family as a whole, but I don’t see how it’s best for the student.</p>

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<p>16apache - as noted in numerous CC threads, the majority of states will not require the payment of tuition for anyone over the age of 18. Some states do, but they are definitely in the minority. Of those that do, most will not require the payment of anything more than in-state tuition. While anything can be negotiated, the divorcing spouse is not in position to make demands if the court is not allowed to compel tuition payments. Counsel would know whether such payments can be compelled. </p>

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<p>@twobeornot
Great news about the visit. </p>

<p>Alabama was not on DD’s radar after visiting many schools with great offers (none as good as Alabama’s). She’s NMF 800-M 800-CR 770-W & 35 ACT with a lot of options. </p>

<p>After some encouragement, she scheduled a visit not expecting to be impressed. She was so blown away by her visit with the Honors College and the campus tour she could hardly wait to get home and change her first choice with National Merit Corp to Alabama. DD is extremely excited about being at Alabama in the fall. </p>

<p>In the weeks that have passed, she has reached out to academic advisors in different areas of interest and we have been impressed at the outpouring of assistance that she has received from everyone she has communicated with since the visit. </p>

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<p>16apache </p>

<p>Most states don’t require ex-spouses to help fund college, but it would be nice if more did (if the ex-spouse is rather affluent and/or is college-eduacated) and would likely have helped pay if the marriage stayed together.</p>

<p>However, many marriages end when children are quite young and at that point, college isn’t on many people’s minds. And sometimes there’s a trade off…spousal support plus child support or something like that. </p>

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<p>Twobeornot, good luck with the visit! Please post back and let us know how it goes.</p>

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<p>If your daughter is interested in liberal arts, you may want to read up on the Blount Initiative program. The first year has a living-learning requirement that allows like minded students to bond. Their seminar classes seem really interesting.</p>

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<p>I’ve posted our story many times before, but perhaps it’s worth repeating in the context of this thread.</p>

<p>My son, a current senior at UA, is a NMF from Hawaii. He attended a prestigious private college prep academy (President Obama’s alma mater) that routinely sends kids to the Ivies, Stanford, MIT, and all the other usual suspects. He had his heart set on USC (left coast version) and Bama only came on our radar because of the huge NMF package and the insights of m2ck here on CC. His college guidance counselors (who are now full-on Bama converts) were aghast that he was considering UA.</p>

<p>I insisted on a visit (he was reluctant) and the Honors College tour (including an audience with Dean Sharpe, an audience with President Witt, participation in an Honors College seminar, time with an Honors College student ambassador, a tour of the campus, a tour of the spectacular dorms, and time with an academic advisor) knocked our socks off.</p>

<p>Still, he was reluctant to attend, but when USC, despite their offer of a Presidential Scholarship, left $36k annually on the table for us to pay, I put my foot down and said Bama’s where you’re going unless you want to foot the bill.</p>

<p>Within weeks of arrival at UA he was calling home regularly with glowing reports about how happy he was. He started with Outdoor Action, where he immediately made friends. He joined a fraternity, made more friends, became an officer, and performed tons of community service. He made it to the final round of the debate tournament in Moral Forum (an Honors College class) and won $2,500 cash for his accomplishment. </p>

<p>The generous application of AP credits has allowed him to double major with ease (Business and Telecommunication & Film). He’s served as a Moral Forum Scholar for two years, working as a teaching assistant in this Honors College course. Last summer he had a very well paid business internship with a national company, who offered him a well paying management position upon graduation. This year, he’s working (for pay) in film at the Center for Public Television at UA, where he’s independently produced pieces that air on TV. His short film, Wieder 'Zam, won the Best Picture award at the Campus MovieFest competition/festival a few weeks ago and will compete nationally at Campus MovieFest Hollywood in June. The Office of Student Affairs and the Honors College are sponsoring him financially so that he (and some of his crew) can attend, even though he will have already graduated.</p>

<p>He’s also currently making a documentary film with Billy Field, a UA professor who worked in Hollywood for years, and he is also making a music video with colleagues that they will enter in a commercial competition. This weekend he’s in Nashville with a bunch of his friends for life, enjoying the scene and interviewing for a position at a film/video production house.</p>

<p>He has a 4.0 GPA, has received unbelievable personal attention and support from the Honors College (and others), is academically challenged, is surrounded by true academic peers, leads a balanced life, has endless recreational opportunities in world-class facilities, spends his days on a drop-dead gorgeous campus, has learned how to dress and be a gentleman with manners, and is receiving every bit as good an education as I received at the University of California, Berkeley. Did I mention he’s also had the opportunity to watch the best collegiate football in the nation and be inspired by a program that strives to be nothing less than the very best?</p>

<p>In sum, he has had as good an undergraduate experience as could be imagined and is now positioned and blessed with so many opportunities for his future, debt-free. </p>

<p>Two years ago he spontaneously declared, “Knowing what I know now, if I had gotten into every college in the country, this is where I’d want to be.” When asked what’s the best thing about Bama, he says, “If there’s something you really want to do, UA will do everything in it’s power to help you make it happen.” </p>

<p>I still can’t believe this is a state university.</p>

<p>Nuff said. Seeing is believing. Get your kids down here for a visit and Roll Tide. :)</p>

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<p>Holy cow! That is amazing! I am so happy for your son! Things really do work out as they should. My daughter will be fine, and she will attend the right school for her, and excel wherever she goes - and who knows, even if funding for UNC was possible (doubtful), she may, after looking at a couple other schools, choose elsewhere. I’m glad she has the opportunity to consider a couple of other options, regardless of the reasons for looking further…and looking forward to the visit! </p>

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<p>twobeornot hope the visit ‘does its job’ as it did with so many other students.</p>

<p>My DD and our family are so pumped that she is attending UA and has the great scholarships (Presidential and Eng). MDB will be icing on the cake.</p>

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<p>Malani,</p>

<p>Thank you for sharing your ds’s story. My ds is convinced that he will have the same experience that you described. We are obviously hoping he is right! </p>

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<p>You are most welcome. And did I really write “it’s power” when I meant “its power?” Ah, the public mortification, lol.</p>

<p>That notwithstanding, it’s been a magical 4 year ride. :)</p>

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<p>Roll Tide!</p>

<p>:)</p>

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<p>We are from NOVA as well. Son was ready to ink with TAMU I said he owed it to himself to see Bama since the scholarship offer was better. He is the most dyed in the wool “Roll Tider” that you can find now (and I mean that in a nice way!). Active in fraternity life, business fraternity. The upside is he was made to feel welcome–50% plus of freshman class is OOS (some not too far from Bama, but still “new to the staters”. It has great support–if you take advantage of it, wide variety of majors, etc.</p>

<p>The only downside is it is far from home and friends who are in-state in VA. There is a train (overnighter) and regular flights out of BHM–if there isn’t a snowstorm! However, it is not a quick trip weekend trip home/to visit friends. </p>

<p>That being said–it was a great decision for him. Yes, he did hear the “really, Alabama” comments–but face it–UNC, UVA, VT, etc have as big a party scene as any major state universities. The school has numerous opportunities to be active–even outside of Greek life. </p>

<p>If you can get her to visit–and it is a good weather day–it is a beautiful campus (along the lines of UVA), great growing town, friendly. Maybe bring along a friend? Good luck. Second attending the Westin Reception just to get a feel for the type of kids interested in Bama. Also–if she decides to attend–move quickly on housing and attend the summer events in Nova sponsored by DC Bama alumni. </p>

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<p>Housing was mentioned upthread. Coming from the Mid-Atlantic region where so many $45k+/yr COA schools use double rooms as triples, I can say even the “worst” of the Bama housing is amazing. </p>

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<p>I hate to throw a monkey wrench in now twobeornot… Couple of things - I know that my daughter who fortunately came off the wait list and graduated from UVA, would have given her eye teeth to have been accepted at UNC Chapel Hill - as they take almost no one from out of state (and thus she was not accepted there.) So I imagine that your daughter must be a seriously strong academic to have been accepted there.
Given her strong interest in that school - have you approached the financial aid office to “beg them on your knees” for any help at all they can throw your way and actually write a letter (short) advising that her father has refused to assist her with costs?
Secondly, what does she think? If she is this strong academically - is she not in any way interested in taking some college loans to get herself through (along with whatever help yourself and your husband can provide)?
I have learned there are many ways to skin a cat in the college game, having had three kids graduated and gone now. One of them went to Gettysburg - a small private, and we initially laughed our head off at him that he was considering such a thing - given the tuition prices. But he insisted that the football coach indicated that the school would help a lot - which they did. Still that left us all with a price tag that was now “down to” the cost of an out of state public. We paid a lot all around, and he also took around 36000 in loans for the 4 years. Gettysburg delivered us a strong highly intellectual successful young man, and every penny of that particular investment was worth it because he was previously “just a jock.”
All I’m saying is that there are numerous ways to look at the equation including the absolute fact that your daughter must certainly visit those other schools (like Bama) because she may indeed fall in love with it. But she will have to weigh everything - cost/benefit analysis. A school like UNC Chapel Hill is quite prestigious and I would think that will have ramifications for her future.
And in terms of the partying (and your daughter not being a big partier) that got me laughing. I remember when my daughter almost “walked away” from UVA, because she was aggravated they hadn’t accepted her in the first place, and because she was already “set” to go to Va Tech - the “COOL SCHOOL” and told her father, UVA will be horrible - it won’t be any fun. (She wasn’t even a partier yet herself at that juncture.) And her father (my ex-husband) told her “trust me, honey. You have no idea - I promise you, if it’s a party you are looking for - you will find it at UVA just like everywhere else.” And sure enough, it was UVA who taught our girl how to party hard with the rest of them, but they were also a hard working crew there. Most all colleges offer every niche what they are seeking.
So don’t believe everything about the schools. I’m sure Bama is just as hard working as anywhere else. And we have a lot of happy friends who graduated from there… Good luck to you!</p>

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<p>Anyone knows how many NMF or NMSF in UA for 2013 or 2012 Yrs.</p>