<p>I second University of Denver--my soph son is very happy and very challenged there--and he has the best of both a robust campus life and a fabulous city</p>
<p>Well, we did not succeed at the "love thy safety" after being deferred ED, she rec'd her acceptance yesterday to safety. No happiness, no stress relief, not even a smile.:(</p>
<p>4giggles, DS1 did not express the 'love thy safety' either, and he was admitted with $$ before an ed1 deferral. After ED1 Deferral, he flat out refused to do ED2, even though the ED2 school was slightly less selective. After a surprize 'yes' yesterday (really more of a reach than ED1 school) though, the sting of the deferral has worn off - maybe if your daughter gets an acceptance to another school she likes more than the safety, her spirits will be higher. I hope. No matter what, this process is hardly easy to observe. I - for one - would rather root canal.</p>
<p>I also read the first 10 pages-- and feel your pain. My DS refused to apply to a safety and has only applied to 4 schools saying he was a match. And he was right. Luckily, he got into one early, so I am relieved to say he has someplace to go in Sep. the others, we wait on....</p>
<p>One "love thy safety" argument that seemed to work here pretty well... with an anecdote for introduction.</p>
<p>geek_son applied ED to a Tier 1 he'd fallen in love with on a summer visit. He got in with some merit money, but not before getting admitted to the local state flagship on a full-ride-plus scholarship.</p>
<p>He had not been enthusiastic about the flagship, even after the special dinner they gave for NMSF and other high-caliber students. In fact, while walking to the dinner, he said, "Mom, I really don't like this campus!" The flagship has a small branch campus and a residential honors college, both of which appealed to him a little more (size was a big deal for him, coming from a very small HS).</p>
<p>While we waited for the ED decision, I went into full "love thy safety" mode. I told him about some research that faculty at the branch campus were working on, and I suggested we schedule an appointment with the dean of a program at that campus (knowing how their personalities would mesh, this would have been going in for the kill, but we didn't get this far).</p>
<p>Then I told him, Look, this school /really/ wants you. So, worst-case scenario, you don't get into your top choice and...</p>
<ol>
<li><p>You pay nothing, graduate debt-free, and get to keep all the tuition money we saved for you. In fact, you could buy a new computer every year with the scholarship money.</p></li>
<li><p>If you get really tired and need to get away from dorm life for a while, or eat home cooking or just do some laundry without scrounging quarters, you can drive 20 minutes to the house, get all caught up, and spend the night in your nice big bed in a quiet neighborhood.</p></li>
<li><p>Because they want your stats so bad, you get research ops, special events, individual attention, and priority registration... in short, you get treated like a god among mere mortals.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>When his ED acceptance letter came, there was absolutely no question as to which school he wanted to attend. BUT... as he was sharing the news with his friends, I overheard him say, "No, I wasn't really nervous. I figured, worst case, I'd get rejected and end up at the Big State U, where I'd get treated like a god!"</p>
<p>Safety schools have benefits that students don't always consider when they only view the world through Ivy-colored glasses!</p>
<p>geek_mom--funny--I told S a few tall tales about "talked with a woman today whose son is at (your safety) and he is really happy there...". It worked so well that although he is happy to be accepted at his #1, he now wants to visit the safety again. And I really was stretching to be happy with the safety.....ha on me</p>
<p>OK. Got some good news today.</p>
<p>She was admitted to College of Charleston. Don't know if it is to the Honors College or not; the letter doesn't say. I think they choose Honors College later, as it had a later app deadline?</p>
<p>Anyway, big sigh of relief. She won't be in the basement next September, we now know for sure.</p>
<p>She talked to the counselor today. I'll report if the woman had anything new to say . . .</p>
<p>Whew!!! Now she can sit back and wait for the other acceptances to roll in. Enjoy the holidays!!!</p>
<p>Congrats to your D, Cindy!</p>
<p>oregon101 -- ha is right! I worried that this would be geek_son's attitude too -- I was very relieved when he didn't start questioning his ED choice in favor of the safety. But you've done a great job in building your son's confidence; now he can choose from a position of strength. The safety hasn't changed, so a second visit with both acceptances in hand will almost certainly reinforce his original #1 choice. If not... schedule a visit to the #1! Or you could make up another story about the friend's son that wouldn't appeal to your son! :-D</p>
<p>Cindy -- Great news for your daughter and congratulations to her! Glad to hear she's bagged one she likes, and the good news should start rolling in pretty soon.</p>
<p>Cindysphinx: congrats to your D! Hopefully, she'll be able to visit the CofC soon and during a time when the weather there will feel balmy...</p>
<p>Whenever I'm asked advice about the college process, my first suggestion is to ALWAYS get an early safety admission in the bag. It's an enormous stress reliever for the student AND the parents. Significantly reduces the anxiety to more calmly embrace the rest of the process, whatever that becomes, for the rest of the senior year.</p>
<p>cindysphinx, Congrats on Charleston. So glad to hear that you won't have to redecorate the basement, after all! I was sorry to hear about the EA disappointment, but agree with people who said that she should take the third SAT II if she's still interested in Georgetown.</p>
<p>Got an acceptance to U MD today. Whew.</p>
<p>That's a big one for D. Her whole strategy was premised on the idea that she would only apply to schools that she thought better than MD, with the idea that she could always just go to MD if she struck out with the more selective schools. Failing to be admitted to MD would have undermined the strategy, big time. </p>
<p>Also encouraging is that her essays for MD weren't so hot because she did the application early in the season. Maybe the essays were "hotter" than I thought. This will be a real stress reducer for her, as most of her friends were already admitted ED to really good schools.</p>
<p>That makes her 2-0, with no rejections so far. Nowhere to go but up . . .</p>
<p>that's great news ... congrats to your daughter!</p>
<p>That's great, Cindy. Maryland would be an excellent option.</p>
<p>Cindy, I have several students who are interested in the College of Charleston. One already has sent in his deposit. A couple are going down for the admitted student weekend in March. They just love the school.</p>
<p>Congrats, Cindy, that must be a big load off your mind!</p>
<p>Congrats! U of MD is a great school!!</p>
<p>Just read this entire thread. Don't know how I missed it.</p>
<p>First things first: Cindy congrats. That is wonderful news.</p>
<p>I have a few general comments to make. Everyone handles stress differently. And everyone has a different strategy in dealing with college choices. There is no one right way.</p>
<p>I think the strategy of only wanting schools she liked better than UMD is fine, proivded she was accepted there. It was a bit risky not to have another safety option since U oc Charleston had not been visited. I am glad the risk did not have adverse effects.</p>
<p>The second thing is if a student has something very immature or negative about her/her attitude (Cindy, I am not saying your D did, you are on site and it's up to you to judge) it's a wonderful teaching experience for a parent. We don't have them for much longer than high school graduation. I think instilling construction thinking and decision making processes is part of our job and in the end more important than which college is attended. Again, that may not have been an issue here.</p>
<p>Third, some kids have more flexibility than others and there is just so much a parent can do to change a kid's basic approach but it is worth a concerted effort.</p>
<p>Last, and this goes back to the beginning of the thread, kids do have a better chance at some reaches than others. Not all reaches have the same criteria. Both my kids were accepted at their number one schools, a bit of a reach, Each with selectivity under 30%, one under 20%. Each one was also rejected and wait listed at matches and safeties. But each was basically the poster child for the colleges they were selected at. They so fit the profile of the kind of kid each school was looking for that each was accepted. Not HYP, though S had an Ivy choice.</p>
<p>Realistic ideas and aspiration are both important.</p>
<p>I will say that each also had a safety they adored and were actually sad to not attend.</p>
<p>Congrats, Cindi. Two great options. A friend of mine's son is waiting anxiously for CofC. I wonder if he got good news. It's a great school. I know a number of kids going there and we checked it out for S2.</p>