<p>The “good people who have known me since I was 12” who lent, not gave her the deposit for a room in Brooklyn may have compromised any case the OP might have had. Giving advice and helping when you don’t know all of the facts in a situation like this can be dangerous. The OP goes to school. If there are signs of neglect/abuse, social services should have been alerted.That is a requirement, not a choice for those working in a school setting in NY. Some tenets of law have been given, here, but the OP needs to sit down and discuss the situation in full to a professional in this area in order to be able to take the best actions.</p>
<p>If I were OP I’d be curious as to where those SS survivor benefits went. The amount could have been over $14K per year since her mother’s passing, depending on her mother’s salary. He earns $500K per year and he can’t save money from her SS payments for her education? And a $500K a year attorney would not know enough to apply for these benefits? Come on. He sounds like someone who would take full economic advantage.</p>
<p>As an aside, how it upsets me when I hear a kid describe her stats of 700/650 as being “slightly above average”! This is where CC makes me crazy. I’m not blaming the OP either.</p>
<p>This story doesn’t add up for me. The OP is under no obligation to give us the full picture, but it’s unclear to me why he or she left a comfortable home to live in a rented room as a 17-year-old. If there was abuse, the OP should report it. If there are things about the OP’s own behavior that might be adjusted, the OP should consider those things. If the door is open to a reasonable conversation with the father and stepmother, the OP should walk through that door and start the conversation (not just because of the college money, but also because, IME, it is more satisfying in theory than in practice to be estranged from a parent, even one who is doing a poor job of parenting). In any case, the OP claims to have the wherewithal to attend community college for two years; perhaps after those two years he or she will have been able to save enough money to afford tuition at a CUNY.</p>
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<p>Absolutely true. However, being a mandated reporter, I can tell you first hand that for a person who is 17.5, this is really a screwed up age to be in high school. As I stated earlier, even if you contact ACS, there is little or anything that they will do with a student who is 17.5 especially in cases of ed neglect. If there is abuse, we will be advised to refer it to PD (because ACS will not go in and remove the child from the home), who will say that it is a domesitic issue that they reall don’t like to get involved with. If it was the other way and the child was doing something in the parents eyes that was so egregious, I wonder if the parent (especially a lawyer) ever put out a PINS petition on the child. Even then, once the child is 17.5, not a whole lot happens on this front either.</p>
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<p>These are the guidelines for free/reduced price school meals in NYC. Pg. 8 describes how to qualify homeless students, which it doesn’t seem as if you are if you are renting a room for $450/month. How exactly did your guidance counselor qualify you for free meals? It seems as if you don’t meet the guidelines…</p>
<p>Sybbie, I agree. This is a case where an attorney needs to be involved and I believe you gave the OP the name of those contacts. </p>
<p>In most cases like this, the kid usually puts a quash on any chance of getting anything by doing something stupid. With the dad an attorney, it will be a bear getting anything out of the case. In my experience, kids get a little info about how their parents are required to provide support till age 21 here in NY and make demands on that platform regarding college and other issues, only to find that it does not quite work that way. </p>
<p>These “final straw” showdowns are rarely,if ever, in isolation, and don’t occur with a bunch of rational people laying out what the situation is.</p>
<p>In many school setting, there are “fail safe” valves that allow school personale to override rules regarding free lunch or breakfast and other provisions where they can see a need.</p>
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I would like to address this point. As some of you know, I have worked in top law firms for decades and this is just not true. There are many, many, many partners whose kids attend NYC public schools – some specialized, but many more not. For some it’s for religious reasons, for some it’s a deep commitment to public education (and these are the people who donate thousands of dollars to public schools to hire special teachers and provide amenities), for some it’s because they otherwise live above their means, and for many (more than you might think) the kids don’t get accepted at a private school and the family can’t/won’t move to the suburbs. Being upper middle class is no guarantee of admission to private school in NYC, and financially an income of $600k is just that, upper middle class and not in the ballpark of rich.</p>
<p>So the poster may be neglected and mistreated, but not necessarily because she attends public school. As a side note, I worked with a partner for years who lost his wife when his daughter was a toddler. There were all sorts of legal issues with the mother’s family and such, but I know for a fact that the social security check was deposited into an account for the daughter every month of her life. I think the D has the right to know what happened to that money.</p>
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Well, yes, but I don’t see how the OP’s situation applies. There are very specific rules for the override, and her situation doesn’t appear to fit. She would have to be living at a homeless shelter, not paying for her own room. Don’t be so sure that the guidance counselor is following all the rules.</p>
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<p>As the parent of a child who has been receiving survivor benefits from social security since she was a toddler, I’ll tell you how I would answer that question if asked. The money was used to support expenses associated with providing a roof over my daughter’s head and caring for her all those years. Some of it I saved for college. The social security administration doesn’t require any more detail than that on the “tell us, dear custodian, how this money has been spent” form they send each year. Now, possibly the OP could demand an accounting of social security monies for the time she hasn’t been living at home, but I imagine that would be legally complex …</p>
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I don’t necessarily think she needs an accounting, but I do think the issue should be addressed. If it was used for living expenses, fine, nothing wrong with that. But she will wonder and fester about it if she doesn’t get an answer and that’s not fair. Assuming she did get benefits at all, of course.</p>
<p>Actually, the fail safe valves often have no rules, but allows for the discretion of designated administrator. </p>
<p>Zoosermom is right. There are a lot of kids from well to do families going to public schools in NYC.</p>
<p>Everyone thank you for all the advice and suggestions. It’s been difficult to research my options this year as time has been EXTREMELY limited, so I appreciate the advice.</p>
<p>So in summary, if I’ve understood most of you correctly, I plan to do the following (in order of importance time-wise):</p>
<ol>
<li>Investigate and file for social security benefits for at least april and may.</li>
<li>Immediatly beg and try and qualify for a dependency override where I was accepted. (I haven’t even withdrawn any of my acceptances yet, so I hope that helps things). </li>
<li>Contact the department of social services and follow their advice on how to claim child support benefits, if possible at all. And follow their advice on whether to try and move back in with my parents (as apparently he’s not allowed to kick me out when I turn 18, at least until I’m 21). </li>
<li>Try and contact the bar associate about free legal aid.</li>
</ol>
<p>If I’ve missed anything please correct me!</p>
<p>Does anyone know of any other legal aid I might be able to contact? It’s hard to find resources on it, and I’d prefer to try and contact as many as possible.</p>
<p>P.S. For those questioning my character(like you CTTC): No I’m not some terribly troubled arsonist or something–not that it would excuse my parents for being terrible people even if I were–and neither am I trying to somehow scam this online board out of advice…? I’ve provided you all with a large amount of personal details already, and there’s no reason for you to need more.</p>
<p>thanks for checking in. Let us know how it turns out.</p>
<p>for some of this stuff, you are really “under the gun” timewise, and at your age, that can make it feel as if you will “never be able to make it happen.”</p>
<p>It may take a while for you to sort through all of this, but if the thing with your father gets overly complicated and impossible to work out, take a deep breath, slow down and contact an attorney, as sybbie suggested.</p>
<p>Remember you have plenty of time to finish college and there is no race to the finish line, and good luck to you.</p>
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The rules seemed quite specific in the document I linked to.</p>
<p>CTTC-- cut it out.</p>
<p>read the TOS.</p>
<p>For #2, if you have documents relating to #3 and #4 as supporting evidence, you might have a better chance of convincing the schools. You might not agree but it might still be beneficial to still move forward with mediation stance. You are now armed with more information about the law and what you could be entitled to under the law and your father is a lawyer, he cannot be blind to the facts and figures of the situation. You might have a better chance of turning his thought around with the help of better mediator from the social services or legal aid. Make out a good summary of financial figures of what you are willing to do in terms of work, Stafford loan and the cost of the school. Showing initiative from your side coupled with the shadow of legal proceeding might be enough. I think it is important to have a good third party advocate who is knowledgeable at the table.</p>
<p>Earthsister, be aware that even if you have a valid lawsuit and can get someone to take your case and pursue it, it can take years for resolution. That is not a path that is recommended. I have several friends who put their lives on hold for some “sure things” in terms of law suits that are still pending for over 10 years. You need to look to the future as well as cover your steps for right now. Kind people giving you “off the top of the head” or “gut” advice is not going to help you. </p>
<p>CTTC, I’ve worked in schools and in certain cases, one can make decisions that are outside of the rules with impunity if the safety and welfare of children are involved. There is still some discretion left in the system.</p>
<p>Please remove my last post, as the poster above me modified his post. thank you.</p>
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<p>You can go to the family court (manhattan if your dad lives in manhattan or brooklyn, if you live in brooklyn). You want to go to the support collection unit and speak with them. I have reached out to some of the advocay groups that we work with and refer students to and Op’s situation is far from unsuaual (as yes, she can file for child support).</p>