Deadbeat Parents... Any Options?

<p>Go to Social Security ASAP – date of filing is really, really important.</p>

<p>Breakfast is free for all NYC public school kids, even well-off ones. (it’s nothing more than yogurt, bagel, etc, not a hot meal)</p>

<p>^^ Yes, you may be able to get April payment if you do this now. That is if your father did not already apply, which is doubtful. And you should receive payments through July. Will take a while to process, but would be retroactive from date apply. You need Mother’s SS#. You may be able to find out if payments have been made on her SS# by a phone call.</p>

<p><a href=“it’s%20nothing%20more%20than%20yogurt,%20bagel,%20etc,%20not%20a%20hot%20meal”>quote</a>

[/quote]

That’s not true, it depends on the school. In any case, it’s still free and nutritious.</p>

<p>Regarding child support issue:</p>

<p>From what I understand sometimes in divorce proceedings there are emergency hearings that basically award temporary custody and support to one parent. I am not sure if your situation is qualified for emergency hearing, but it is something your attorney might pursue. </p>

<p>Basically, if you don’t qualify for dependency override, then judge may make your dad pay for some living expenses/college on temporary basis. I am not sure how generous that award will be, but it is worth pursuing.</p>

<p>One thing to keep in mind, is that while parents might be required to pay for college under New York law, it does not mean they are required to pay for private expensive education. I hope you have some SUNY or CUNY in your list of acceptances. The judge would be more inclined to issue emergency temporary financial support order if the amount is reasonable.</p>

<p>“You can go to the family court (manhattan if your dad lives in manhattan or brooklyn, if you live in brooklyn).”</p>

<p>Family Court jurisdiction is based exclusively where the child, not where either of the parents have lived, for the previous 6 months. It’s due to the Hague Convention. The CP can choose to go to the court where original custody/support determinations were heard if it is for modifications.</p>

<p>“From what I understand sometimes in divorce proceedings there are emergency hearings that basically award temporary custody and support to one parent.”</p>

<p>Divorce proceedings and child custody/support are two different things.
When one files a motion regarding the child, the hearings are within months, not years, and the judge orders an immediate temporary child support amount and also awards a temporary physical and legal custody so an opposing parent can not blackmail the other one into an agreement by dragging the proceedings. The child issue motions and proceedings are identical, regardless whether it is a divorce involved or not, or if the parents have never been married. When the two parties go for the hearings, they have to submit a financial statement because it is mandated by the court. The temporary child support is calculated from the financial info at these statements</p>

<p>Lerkin, you are right the the courts would be more amenable to pay for CUNY/SUNY vs paying full freight at a private school. Te advocate that I spoke with this morning who works with students going through the family courts said that OP would be better
be served going to the support collection unit, putting in her claim for child support. because college is on the horizion, they may give her an early court date for at least an emergency temporary support order.</p>

<p>Op needs to bring what ever she has, birth certificates, any proof of dads income, info about mom, etc.</p>

<p>From OP: </p>

<p>“I managed to get an outside scholarship…”</p>

<p>and</p>

<p>“And I did receive generous merit scholarships from most of the schools I applied to, but without my parents filing the FAFSA the gaps were way too big for me to even dream of filling with a job while in College.”</p>

<p>The dad might also be more amenable to support the child if there is an order because the NYS OTDA Child Suport Enforcement Unit has the right to suspend a professional license.
That’s the contact info: <a href=“Request Rejected”>Request Rejected;

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<p>I know that. I was just giving a point of reference: In divorce process (not proceedings) there are some urgent issues that are decided before divorce is done. </p>

<p>I was not sure however if this will apply to OP’s situation (since it is not a divorce).</p>

<p>Quite frankly I find it mind-boggling that kids can sue parents for college tuition. I was not even sure if I should chime in into this discussion, because I don’t support kids suing parents for college education. However, it appeared that OP was planning to proceed this way anyway and someone up-thread suggested that the issue might take 10 years to resolve. So, I decided to offer my opinion that at least some support can be obtained on emergency/temporary basis. </p>

<p>By the way, I find father and step-mother’s behavior offensive. I feel for the OP. I just wish there was some other way to resolve the issue without going through court.</p>

<p>You can have a court declare you as independent. And if your parents don’t show up to the hearing, they would send the police after them so I guess you can force your parents to show up and sign and declare that you are independent. If you’re not even 18 and forced to move out, you have a VERY strong case for the court to decide in your favor.</p>

<p>And I hear lots of stories about people that make quite a lot of money without degrees, perhaps you can look at a technical job to earn you money until you can pay for college? This is going to costs you some years either way</p>

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<p>Who is questioning the OP’s character? I didn’t see anything like that in CTTC’s posts. Maybe I missed something. Speaking for myself, I did suggest that the OP should evaluate his or her own behavior, which is what I would suggest to anyone on the “more than one side to every story” principle. The OP has said her father and stepmother are “terrible people.” They may be terrible, maybe irredeemably so. The truth may lie somewhere in between, however, as it so often does. </p>

<p>My siblings and I would have called my father and stepmother terrible people, with some justification, when we were teenagers. That didn’t mean we didn’t want to continue to be in a relationship with them. I realize that continuing a relationship with “terrible” parents is not always advisable or desired. But I would recommend exhausting all other options prior to pursuing legal action (or burning a bridge in some other way) unless the family is fractured beyond repair. I speak from the perspective of someone whose family was seriously broken.</p>

<p>OP, You may need to ask one or some of the colleges where you’ve been accepted if they will extend your deadline for deciding and depositing.</p>

<p>My Quote:
The parents earn $600k in NY and they send “his” kid to a public school…but send the child they have together to private. Sounds like a Cinderella story to me and they provided a roof and little else.</p>

<hr>

<p>Zooser Quote:
I would like to address this point. As some of you know, I have worked in top law firms for decades and this is just not true. There are many, many, many partners whose kids attend NYC public schools – some specialized, but many more not. For some it’s for religious reasons, for some it’s a deep commitment to public education (and these are the people who donate thousands of dollars to public schools to hire special teachers and provide amenities), for some it’s because they otherwise live above their means, and for many (more than you might think) the kids don’t get accepted at a private school and the family can’t/won’t move to the suburbs. Being upper middle class is no guarantee of admission to private school in NYC, and financially an income of $600k is just that, upper middle class and not in the ballpark of rich.</p>

<p>So the poster may be neglected and mistreated, but not necessarily because she attends public school. As a side note, I worked with a partner for years who lost his wife when his daughter was a toddler. There were all sorts of legal issues with the mother’s family and such, but I know for a fact that the social security check was deposited into an account for the daughter every month of her life. I think the D has the right to know what happened to that money."</p>

<p>I agree that simply sending a kid to public isn’t evidence. But, this smacks of that earlier situation where the mom posted about having saving money for college for HER KIDs, but not for the blended family step kids. </p>

<p>The OP’s younger sibling (product of the dad and SM) is attending private, so the family obviously has no “commitment” to public education. </p>

<p>Maybe I’m reading too much into this, but when parents were never married, the custodial mom dies, and “dad” suddenly is given custody, that isn’t a recipe for a devoted daddy. It’s often a recipe for a resentful dad with an even more resentful SM.</p>

<p>It could well be the case, that sounds right, but . . My oldest in NYC is in public school and my younger ones are in private. It’s not because I like my oldest the least, it’s because they are in the schools that best suit them. There are many more options here once a good student is in high school.</p>

<p>I also think 2 people earning over $600K in a household should have been able to save a substantial amount of OP’s survivor benefits for education. Do not think Father would have needed all to keep roof over head and food on table in this particular situation.</p>

<p>Well, yeah, OhioMom3000, but it doesn’t sound as if we’re talking about a typical $600K-earning household.</p>

<p>I don’t care what the issues are. A good portion of those funds should have been saved for her, regardless of the family dynamics.</p>

<p>^^^
Well, sure, that’s what *should *have happened. But there’s nothing to be done now if the dad reported to the IRS every year, “Yes, I used these funds to support my child.” That’s all the documentation he has to provide, as far as I know (I’ve filled out this same form once a year for the past 15 years). Indeed, you can “get by” on a household income of $600K, even in Manhattan, and it’s hard to believe the dad wouldn’t have salted away some of those benefits (assuming they were received). But if he didn’t, I don’t think there would be any consequences (other than alienating his daughter). Someone correct me if I’m wrong. But I know of no “means testing” for this benefit; as far as I know from my experience, the surviving parent’s word, as the minor’s custodian, is good enough for the IRS.</p>

<p>Considering all the various aspects of the OP’s situation, the time-table she’s facing right now with colleges, how long it can take legal aid etc. to act, and the dearth of options she has to consider, I’d suggest she try and see if a few schools are willing to defer her admission until at least spring semester… I mean just to take a breather.</p>

<p>I know requesting dependency overrides alone is an exhaustive and demanding endeavor, I couldn’t imagine negotiating SS and a lawsuit on top of that… It’s like a perfect storm of horrible bureaucracy; the welfare branch of govt (social security), financial aid, the courts, and HS guidance counselors–if the DMV were thrown in, I’d consider that a strong contender for my worst version of hell…</p>