<p>Fineartsmajormom: I don’t know about the other stuff, but I know that a student with any major can end up “a bum” in 20 years. That has to do more with motivation and action that major, as far as I’m concerned. Daughter already makes money, takes commissions, etc. She’s not a sit around and make paintings sort of artist. She’s also the harder working and more entrepreneurial of my children, so I’m far less concerned about her being self-supporting than my “academic” child. </p>
<p>It occured to me after I posted that people might misunderstand my comment, though. My daughter is a Buddhist; her Buddhist values (the Eightfold path, particularly) are important to her. As a result, she strives for “right livelihood”, but also to make sure that her art itself is in line with those values. Even if she doesn’t do art, I expect she’ll probably find a way to incorporate that value set. She also hopes to spend time at some point later in her life as a Buddhist nun – but even if that’s not possible, there are all kinds of ways to incorporate compassion and the eightfold path into one’s livelihood. I’m not a Buddhist, but one of the reasons that I have done customer service work for years is that it’s a “positive” job that is about helping people and trying to create benefit for them. </p>
<p>Of course, almost everyone who asks about my daughter’s school plans (people who know her or know of her) know that she’s a Buddhist, so they’d know what I was talking about. I suppose it’s only my out of town relatives who would assume otherwise, because they don’t have any experience with her on an ongoing basis.</p>
<p>this is getting weird and weirder…
does she know that you are not supposed to touch can of spray paint or love Christmas lights ever?
have you read about the monk who had to use his puddle of tears only to make drawing with his toe because he was punished and tied up for his banal occupational mind as to " become artist" during his training?</p>
<p>I know people do what they believe and fine with it if any kids wanna do something that they want to do, but when mom start butting in without knowing what she is talking about or just love to be in your face, I have to say something ( I know because I’m the one)
Though I am glad you have intention of going back to help your kid’s $ or at least making sniff out of it, make every dollar counts as you told publicly, we (I and master Shsshu) are watching.</p>
<p>Sorry Trinf no offense intended…as BandD pointed out…I was trying to lighten the mood with an anecdote. Yes the kids were aware we were getting scammed but loved observing it.</p>
<p>The thread is…“dealing with disapproval” and you have to admit that many people who question our choice and kid’s choice to attend an expensive (in terms of time and/or money) art program have observed that the expected returns are low. People who don’t know your kid well but at the same time care about your kid may express disapproval or concern based on this observation. The question is…how to respond without being rude. Clearly we and people who know our kids will see that there really is no other choice for them – it is the best path for them given their interests and aptitudes. You suggest citing her religious values as a rebuttal to a questioning of her choice…you quite rightly point out that someone who doesn’t know your kid is a buddhist and/or knows nothing about buddhism will be puzzled and muzzled…I must say, I assumed your kid was a Born- Again-Christian from the tone of your post although what this may have to do with going to art school had me mystified…actually, your clarifying she is buddhist didn’t really enlighten me either…anyway, I think replying politely but effectively to the doubting-thomas’ is important because it allows them to know your kid better and shows support for your kid also. Even if I have my own doubts and concerns about my kid’s ability-work ethic-lifestyle in terms of achieving his dreams, I try to keep a supportive front. Unfortunately, the religious side is a no-go as a rebuttal for us–dogmatically atheist and non-spiritual despite the best efforts of a catholic grandmother and godmother-- </p>
<p>TrinF and all…what do you th ink of this idea?..S didn’t want me to send out traditional graduation announcements–hates senior picture…so I said “fine, draw me an announcement because you have to send something to the friends, neighbors and relatives that have helped raise you” …what better way to either reassure the doubting thomas’ than to awe them with a nifty design of a graduation announcement ? he sketched an odd little figure clutching a diploma and wearing a mortarboard–unlikely to reassure anyone but definitely will elicit some laughs. Will print and have him send this weekend…</p>
<p>My response (and what I actually think) is to look aghast and say “With the way the economy and the general world is moving it seems almost dangerous to me to zero in on a major because it might guarantee a “job” in finance or medicine or law. Better to follow your dreams and learn to be very very flexible otherwise your child may find that degree will lead to wasted years studying something because it supposedly will guarantee work while going towards your dreams can lead to a fruitful fulfilled life. I guess I’ve always thought the best goal for my child was having a fulfilled life and reaching for dreams. Why would you want otherwise for them?”</p>
<p>because after we are gone and bank account is emptied out, there is no $ to buy any fruit to be full about since they won’t know how to do things to survive being too busy chasing dreams and living in it. can’t use their beautiful hand that meant for creating art for changing old folks diapers or cutting up endless cantaloupes or delivering Sunday times…
all of which we used to do decades ago when there were no internet smart phone wi-fi I forgot what else, there are eight things that listed in the book that I saw today.
again, this one. smarty, you might have read it? published 2009. Is it any good?</p>
<p>Fineartsmajormom: Oh, she’s an atheist Buddhist. It’s possible, after all. She feels like she’s been a Buddhist her whole life, even before someone told her what that was. She says that she understood about life being suffering from a very young age, because of the abuse and trauma when she was little. One of my professors teased me that she must have been a monk in a past life, but that’s a little wifty for me. </p>
<p>WRT announcements, I think it’s a great idea! People on the west coast frequently don’t send out announcements, so when I try to discuss it here, they get all confused and don’t know what I’m talking about. They think I mean graduation invitations. We’re still trying to find a good announcement design that captures daughter. She didn’t want a photo announcement. I tried to interest her in doing a piece for the announcement or even using one of her existing works, but she wasn’t into it. Anyway, I’m glad your son was willing to do it; I bet they look very cool, and certain will get the attention of the recipients.</p>
<p>Bears…
I think one can follow one’s dreams and if you’re in a good school you learn to be flexible. There’s no field anymore that guarantees $$$ down the road to my mind, the key is to be flexible and realistic and understand that you must eat but still find a setting within which that works. Sure there must be some compromise but go towards what rewards you the most. I have a BFA, ended up being less of an “arteest” than I’d thought (had planned on teaching college level, graduated at a lousy time to do that but found a niche which was more commercial but I used to say that going to work was actually a pleasure, I loved the pace and found it fantastic to be paid for something that I actually enjoyed so much. It wasn’t the direction I thought I’d go in but I managed to keep taking the roads that felt right and good for me and it worked out just fine. I have lots of friends with more “practical” degrees who hated what they did and didn’t make those $$$ anyway. There’s a difference between totally living in a dream world and taking your dreams and making them work for you. </p>
<p>We didn’t do announcements, my kid’s take on it was “why should somebody send me money for finishing high school?” However, the smattering of checks that came anyway turned out to be greatly appreciated by same child!</p>
<p>Why is it all past tense? what happened to your job, or are you retired?
or that’s how English are to be written?</p>
<p>I’m not saying there is no way kids can make money to survive. It’s not that there are no jobs, just that nowadays there are enuff folks willing to do hard/ dirty jobs and educated, enlightened and helicoptered kids tend to think they are too good (or bad, skill wise. it is hard to lift obese grandma’s butt to clean between saggy cheeks) for that kind of stuff and keep mounting unpaid student loans or maxing out unemployment benefit, heaven forbid! get food stamps to buy fruit to be full, then wonder why economy is so bad they can not find any jobs. If all tax paying folks aren’t helping them, there should be more spending producing wasting economocky activity… wait, what do I know, fammom?</p>
<p>Also thanks for the book link bears…looks interesting although I admit to a sometimes knee-jerk anti- reaction to reading about art, gets a bit too dense for me at times, in a way that the density sucks the meaning out of the art…but then just a personal quirk I guess…I’m thinking that my approach to child going to art school is the idea of having experiences and exposure to new ideas being the key not the eye on the degree kind of thinking…fits in tidily with my personal “follow your dream in a flexible and rational manner” theory.</p>
<p>Oh so sorry
After being a major “helicopter” parent I’m trying to make up for the constant overhead whirrrrrrrrrr during childhood by respecting the statement that “the last thing I really want is my mother blogging all over the internet about my life” and trying to do as I promised and only blogging about my personal take as a parent. So that’s all I can give up bears!</p>
<p>I’m not working in the field I started out in anymore, as computers changed so did art production but the upside is that I’ve managed to segue that into a situation where I work for myself using all the same skills and still love what I do. Profit margin could be bigger but I love it and find it satisfying. And btw my helicoptered kid actually loves physical labor such as you describe, finds it rewarding so if the need comes to do the sort of work you’re mentioning I think all will be okay. But also I think the situations you’re describing (overindulged people, struggles for jobs) have always existed to a degree but the job situation in particular is so difficult right now.</p>
<p>Artsmarts! I love your saying “follow your dream in a flexible and rational manner.” That’s excellent and pretty much the way I feel about it, too. I think it’s an excellent way for art students to be thinking about their choices and goals. </p>
<p>PS: My daughter also loves doing physical work. She walks miles every day, spent the past weekend working 12-14 hour days lugging equipment and teaching people how to use shop tools and laser cutters and stuff. If nothing else, she likes the strength it gives her muscles so that she can carry more art stuff and work with bigger materials. She wants to weld big steel!</p>
<p>Im agreeing with all artsmarts wisdoms but I particularly like post #44. Its exactly how I feel but articulated so much better by artsmart.</p>
<p>Had a great day today. Drove my S to school to pick up all his work. He brought presents for the teachers who wrote him recommendations, and his two art teachers. It was fun going to the bookstore with him and seeing what he chose. He picked from books he loved. It was great stopping in for the last time at school (although I will probably volunteer next year. He made it through, and I am so glad!!!</p>
<p>For one art teacher (necklace, not from book store)
For other - Heart is a Lonely Hunter and Ballad of the Sad Cafe (Bears if you havent read Carson McCullers it is a must)
English teachers Ballad of Sad Cafe and Wally Lamb’s I Know This Much is True…</p>
<p>We arent sending out announcements. Also no graduation party. Trying to fit in a nice dinner with his best friend (since 1st grades) family, but they both got invited to other graduation parties so timing is difficult.</p>
<p>^ switters, that’s why you are my BFF
I have not read anything by her but that one partly because I don’t want to feel disappointed comparing to the hurdle set by her first book. It must have been hard for her, too, by the fact how she treated Capote once he was a big hit only shortly after she took him under her wing (or she thought she did.)
She predicted future… there will be one day, people could able to stick tiny thing in the ear and able to hear music! …don’t we now? but the author died before ipod, not even walkman.
The part I can not forget is the little pretty talented girl and what happened soon after.
I don’t own the book and can’t look up now but there was one thing I did not know what it was and none of my friend/ coworker could not help me either, I assumed it must be the South thing, Something to do with the prom that Mick host… do you know the word and tell me about it?</p>
<p>can’t sleep trying to remember…
could be “prom card”? ?
this remind me of the time catcher in the rye, I just could not imagine what the “skate key” was… Phoebe was roller skate skinny. You can see the girl in your head already.
we had central park program that was to follow Holden’s path. I knew then what skate key is already but wanted to test and asked 20 something tour guide. She did not know either.
I read in both japanese and English but what japanese won’t tell you is how old that story is.
They tried making mighty Murakami translate it but made it worse.</p>
<p>People! Murakami is a mere chick-lit writer. If anyone tells you otherwise, they have been fooled as many many many foreign intellectuals who likes reading about kinky sex and old fascism associating with bloody torture underneath of intellectualing front.</p>
<p>Skate Key
The old skates (circa 50s) were not shoes, they were flat on the bottom and fit under your shoes, held in place by little metal grips that extended between the shoe sole and upper body of shoe. The skate key turned the grips inward to fit onto your shoes and then turned outward releasing the grips so you could remove the skates.</p>
<p>how these kids are to keep the key while skaking? how big was it? hang around neck or put in the pocket? did one key fit all, like you could share with friends? Holden made it sound so easy.
our first rollerskate had straps that covered around shoes, like straightjacket. It was somewhat expandable and whole siblings could share and could grew with you.
noone wore helmet then there were very few traffics if any and kids knew how to fall without breaking bones because roads weren’t flat either.
I feel old but somewhat better knowing some of that Miyazaki-esque childhood that is non existence today.</p>
<p>almost sure the word was “prom card” Mick made then. It did not seem invitations, but some sort of game piece? what are they and how they are used? Anyone?</p>
<p>Search google for Metal Roller Skate Key and then hit images and you’ll see photos of the skates and the key which in some cases looks like a key, in some more like a “widgit”. We hung them around our necks and of course didn’t wear helmets at all, even when riding bikes.</p>
She feels like she’s been a Buddhist her whole life, even before someone told her what that was. She says that she understood about life being suffering from a very young age, because of the abuse and trauma when she was little. One of my professors teased me that she must have been a monk in a past life, but that’s a little wifty for me.