<p>Much ado about … nothing. Interviews have very little to do with admissions, if any. Pretty much none of the “information” culled by the interviewer ever finds its way to the file. It is mostly an exercise in futility. I always recommend to avoid all interviews, except for on campus interviews by real adcoms. There is nothing to gain, and considering past descriptions posted on CC by overzealous and confused about their role interviewers, lots to lose. </p>
<p>As far as the direct question, let you mom walk with you, introduce her as your mom and … driver. Let some chitchat develop, and then move away from her AFTER she sits down. </p>
<p>Either way, it is not worth fighting with your mother over this non-essential exercise.</p>
<p>The general consensus here is that most alum interviews have very little impact. I’m not sure that’s much debated. </p>
<p>I actually don’t think this thread is about interviews at all. Rather, it seems that it’s a parent-child issue, and the college interview is simply another (probably of many) situation where it’s manifesting. </p>
<p>I’m not sure I would tell the OP to ‘fight’ his or her mother; but I don’t think the relationship sounds particularly healthy. It’s probably something the OP has to to deal with at one point or another, if not over this issue, then something else. Otherwise, it may fester into some very longterm dysfunctional family dynamics. </p>
<p>[Disclaimer: I’m am not a professional therapist or psychologist of any kind. Just an anonymous poster on the web giving my opinion…probably opinion that’s not worth much if not completely worthless]</p>
<p>and my answer was about what to do, namely relax, not worry, and cancel the rest of the interviews if possible. Interviews are worthless and yet nerve-wracking exercises. With single digits admit rates, few students need to have cheerleaders to convince them to accept the admission. And that is about all the role of the alumni is.</p>
<p>They won’t make you or break you, but they can break ties. Given the competitiveness of getting in, I’d be looking for any advantage I could get, no matter how small. You never know when you’ll need that little extra.</p>
<p>Or provide a serious DISadvantage courtesy of the nosy interviewers a la Northstarmom who gleefully reported here on CC how they googled applicants to catch them telling fibs. </p>
<p>A negative about character -true or made up- might sink your application. A huge endorsement from an interviewer who is neither qualified nor trained to measure applicants does not amount to more than a bag of sour beans. </p>
<p>Pay attention to the true or made up comment. Interviewers are no more qualified investigators than they are adcoms. They are no more than involved alumni and cheerleaders of their alma mater. Their role is not to catch applicants nor … evaluate them. Despite pretending otherwise to flatter their ego. </p>
<p>Unless mandatory, the best practice is to avoid participating in this charade.</p>
<p>Thinking that interviews are also another way of demonstrating interest in the school. This seems more important these days and an interview is one more “contact point” with the school.</p>
<p>Last year my daughter had one college interview and it was in a city a little over an hour away by car. I drove her to the interview location (a Starbucks) and waited in the car during the interview. </p>
<p>The school was a huge reach for my daughter and I knew the interview wouldn’t really do much for her application but I really wanted her to go through the interview process BY HERSELF so she could get the experience of interviewing. She’s a little shy and the college interview was something that required her to come out of her shell a little. (No, she wasn’t accepted to the college but I’m sure the interview wasn’t what threw her into the rejection pile–she applied to a very competitive program with an extrememly low acceptance rate.)</p>
<p>My daughter is now in college on the other side of the country and she’s fairly well prepared to handle things on her own because she was allowed (and pushed) to do things outside of her comfort zone while she was in high school. While I realize the OP doesn’t consider the college interview outside his/her comfort zone, his/her mom needs to realize that he/she needs the experience of interviewing ALONE in order to succeed later in life.</p>
<p>To apply for the private school our kids attended, each kid had to have an interview, alone. After the interview, the parent could speak to the interviewer and ask/answer questions. I did talk with the interviewer who spoke with my kids. He wanted context from me about why my son was so reluctant to answer questions and some of the answers my son provided. The interviewer was grateful I was able to explain; S was admitted and enjoyed his years at that HS. </p>
<p>My S had one interview I know of for college, when he was applying. It took place at his HS, during the school day, and it was with the dean of engineering at the school he hoped to attend. He was accepted and received a significant merit award.</p>
<p>Fast forward to his SR year of college when he was home for Christmas break. He had an interview at a location about 25 miles from our house. I offered to let him use the car or drive him. He preferred that I drive so he could relax, as he wasn’t familiar with the area. I dropped him off at the coffee house and went to a nearby restaurant for breakfast. He called me to pick him up when he was done, about an hour later. </p>
<p>He did get a job offer, tho I don’t think he would have if I had been hovering during the interview. All his other interviews, he had in CA or DC, alone. </p>
<p>Agree no interviewer wants a parent around when interviewing someone. They need to speak to the person they came to interview. </p>
<p>Also agree that OP needs to have some backup financial safeties OP can afford if parent(s) refuse to provide $$$$ for college.</p>
<p>OP, although I don’t think you should sweat the issue of the interview as they aren’t make or break for your application (sorry not to have mentioned this earlier because it is a good point_, I think it would be a mistake to turn them down. I can see how that could looked at like lack of interest in the college. Like Brown, where you are applying, considers interest as an admissions factor, but they don’t track visits. So doing the interview is one way to show interest. The rest is in your application.</p>
<p>Wow…this sounds like more than Tiger Parenting. This sounds pathological. </p>
<p>If your mom won’t believe/accept what she’ll see in this thread, then can you get your father involved? What does he think? </p>
<p>What if you need your mom to get you to campus next fall? Will she think that means that she can attend class with you? Seriously, she sounds disordered and needs therapy…soon.</p>
<p>I agree that you need to apply to some schools that will give you free rides…just in case. For one thing, if your mom KNOWS that you have one or two of those in your pocket, it will take the wind out of her sails…because she’ll know that you do have a choice.</p>
<p>An amusing side note: S attended his medical school 1st year orientation and there, front and center, was a class-mate with his mother on the left and and father on the right. He was sunk down as low in his seat as he could go, with a baseball cap pulled as low over his face as possible. If he could have disappeared completely, he would have. I’m sure he was praying continuously that his folks wouldn’t raise their hands to ask questions. (Yes, they were Asian. As is S, for that matter.)</p>
<p>not to stray from the topic, but med schools are finding more and more parents showing up for interview day (which consists of interviews and tour). However, the parents do not get to go into the actual interviews, but do tag along for the tours. Very embarrassing for the applicants, I’m sure. Med schools will likely start setting up “parent tours” to divert these tag alongs. I did go on one med school interview trip with my son, but only to scope out apartments while he was on campus. I’m sure he would have bound and gagged and handcuffed me to a hotel room chair if I had ever dreamed of showing up at the med school.</p>
<p>I have never heard of parents showing up for med school orientation. Wow…you’d think that when the parents saw that they were the “only ones” they would have left. I guess some are just too dense.</p>
<p>Do you have a friend, sibling, or other relative who could help with transportation? I understand that this would not be ideal (in terms of solving the root relationship problem) but your mom may be more willing to listen if she sees that you are being proactive.</p>
<p>This would be interesting to do. However, I suspect that the mom would find ANOTHER reason why she has to go. The whole “I’m driving you so I get to be there” is just a red herring.</p>
<p>A successful applicant -DD of CC member-- to Whitman brought her beloved Great Dane to her college interview at the school. It seems that they could handle a TigerMom’s bark. :)</p>
<p>It already has, despite the wealth of amazing advice, so I’m going to shoot the thread in the head and say the following (just to vent a little :p):</p>
<p>When it comes to letting me interact with the opposite gender, or wearing clothing, my mom thinks/speaks/behaves like Carrie White’s mom (minus the religiousness). *</p>
<p>For everything else, she thinks/speaks/behaves like Vera Farmiga’s version of Norma Bates, especially in the S 1 Ep 5 scene where she kicks her kid out of her car over a disagreement. My mom was next to me when that part was on, but I’m not sure if she caught anything. **</p>
<ul>
<li>= exaggerated by ~30%
** = exaggerated by ~5%</li>
</ul>
**</p>