Dear parents: I'd like to take a college trip on my own.

Parents Forum
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Hello Parent Forum,

From what I’ve seen around other boards, you all are a friendly and helpful bunch. I’m venturing into your forum today to ask for a little advice.
I’m interested in attending Vanderbilt, and I’d like to go on a visit soon. I’m 16 (two months to 17) and I’m a junior this year. The plan was originally for my dad and I to drive down there for a day program on MLK Day, however, we waited too long to sign up and I am currently waitlisted. I accepted that we would not be able to go, however, the next time it would be possible would be late February. Knowing that this is a busy time, I doubt that even this would happen, leaving it until April.
I am currently working on narrowing down my college list, and visiting Vanderbilt would allow me not only to determine if it’s a good fit for me, but what qualities I actually look for in a college versus what I think I’m looking for. The only problem is now this won’t really be possible for another two months or more.
I thought about this for a while, and came up with an idea. I am hoping to convince my parents to let me drive to Nashville myself and visit on my own. I have had my license since I turned 16, and I have had no incidents, even minor ones such as parking tickets. The only issue is that I’ve never driven for longer than an hour. Not out of fear, or my parents’ restrictions, just that I’ve never really had a reason to. The trip to Vandy would be about eight hours. I know that this will be much different than I’ve ever driven before, but I enjoy it and it would be completely during the day.
There are several values for me visiting on my own and now, including getting a better idea of what I am looking for now, the ability to sit in on a class or shadow a student, and a feel (albeit extremely limited) for what going to college on my own a fair distance away would be like. I am willing to work to pay for all gas and accommodations, and if needed I think I could stay with my dad’s friend’s family, who live in Nashville.
I am planning to present this idea to my parents with a complete plan for the route, accommodations, what to do when I get to Vandy, and the reasons I stated above that it would be beneficial. However, my parents can be very protective, even though I honestly haven’t given them much reason to be, as I never go out late or go to parties, and I get straight As.

So my question to you all is what would you say, and what would be your advice to me in trying to convince my parents?

tl; dr - I’m trying to convince my parents to let me drive myself to Vanderbilt (eight hours away) for a college visit on my own. Any advice?

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you are 16… So you haven’t had your license for a year yet.

I would not allow you to drive eight hours each way for any purpose. Sorry…it’s just too long a drive.

In terms of accommodations…there are very few hotels that will even allow someone under 18 to stay there without a parent.

Sorry…but my answer would be no.

ETA…as a parent, I would offer to take you to Vandy if you get off the waitlist…and I would work to make that happen if you were still considering the school by that time.

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You are a junior, right? There is no reason to go on your own. Just because you “want” to narrow down your college list doesn’t mean you “have to” narrow it down right now. Assuming your parents are paying for a portion of your college education, they may want to see the school as well. I wouldn’t have let my kid drive 8 hours each way with a license for less than a year (or even somewhat more than a year). You can ask them, but don’t be surprised if they say no. And you really have no reason to be annoyed if they do.

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Sorry, I would say no. A few months will make no difference in your decision to apply.

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Oh. I see you mean you are waitlisted for a TOUR…and you are a HS junior.

In that case…the answer would be even a more resounding NO.

April is fine. You won’t be doing applications until late summer or early fall. Why in the world do,you need to make,that trip…now? You don’t.

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Lol I’m your age and I say NO WAY! That’s just a bad idea, your only 16/17. I don’t see why you should go there by yourself, especially if the drive is 8 hrs. That’s just dangerous.

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My advice? Don’t even try to convince your parents!

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There may be other ways to gather information that don’t require such a huge solo trip. I would put this idea on hold until you can try out some other options. Get more driving experience under your belt, where your parents are with you but you do all the driving. Show them you can stay alert, etc. My opinion is that if you can boost your credibility with them, like successfully visiting a college on your own that is 2 hours away, then later on you can use that in your reasoning for planning the longer trip.

Also, plan to visit colleges that are much closer to you. Doesn’t matter if you have any interest in them or not, this can still be a good learning experience. Pick different size colleges, pick public and private, Liberal Arts and Research universities, etc. My daughter toured a large university that had its own bus system. Like big, city bus size buses running all over campus. We walked on a tour for over an hour and didn’t see all of the campus. She was sure after that visit that she did not want to attend a large college. Do you like a college that is in the middle of a city, close to museums and art galleries and baseball stadium? Or do you prefer a rural setting, beautiful campus, lots of greenery? Do you plan to have a car on campus or not? The type of campus you choose may need to reflect your transportation needs. Maybe you just want a campus you can get around with a bike?

I would suggest that you visit Vanderbilt AFTER you are accepted anyway. Senior year your thoughts about college will be more focused, and might be a better time to make decisions.

Parents have experienced a lot more of life than you have, and they have valid reasons to be protective. Flat tires, interstate driving with lots of tractor trailer trucks, slick road during storms, etc. Not to mention the folks who might prey on a young girl traveling alone. You might also look at finding a travel buddy to come along, maybe an older cousin or grandparent.

What other colleges are you looking at? What are your stats ? GPA, test scores, etc. What is your intended major? There are many folks who can offer suggestions if you choose to give us more info.

Best of luck to you. It may seem that your entire college future depends on you getting to drive solo to Vanderbilt, but I encourage you to think of the bigger picture here.

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@thumper1 - Sorry for the confusion! I guess it was worded a little weirdly.
I definitely understand all of your views. However, *****update - I would have the opportunity to stay with people I know. I think this would be a more compelling factor in my argument, seeing as all I really would be doing independently would be driving. I consistently drive ten hours a week in increments of 30-40 minutes, so I do think that my parents at least trust me somewhat in the car. This is something that I’d like to do, and while I do hear your opinions do you see any benefits to this like I do? For me, it’s more about the ability to explore a college without my somewhat helicopter-y parents and take in what I really want to see. It’s also going to be hard for either of them to take off work to go with me.

There is another option here that I could consider. I have an aunt who works from home that may be willing to go with me. I’m not sure and I’ve never mentioned the possibility of taking a college trip to her but I think that she would be open to the idea.

@powercropper‌ I do love the way you ended your post. :slight_smile: Made me laugh a bit, as I suppose it might have come off that way, but I don’t place nearly that much importance on this one opportunity. While I see the value in your suggestion that I visit a college nearby, I think it would have the opposite of the desired effect on my parents, honestly. They know that I’m not interested in any of the surrounding schools, or even the state flagship that I spent three weeks at in a summer program last year.
As far as stats go, here’s a little overview:
4.0 UW, 4.42 W GPA
35 ACT (prev. 34)
Full IB Diploma with History, English, and Math HL
Class VP, NHS secretary, theatre association, tutoring at a middle school, part-time retail job, started a foreign exchange club, other stereotypical but less significant ECs

I’m looking to major in political science, with the goal of eventually going to law school. I’d like to go to school in the Northeast, and I’m going to apply to Northwestern, Vandy, Duke, Harvard, Georgetown, Brown, Mizzou, and probably Northeastern? I’m still looking for some match schools to fill out my list. Suggestions are definitely welcome! (And if any are closer, that’s a plus.)

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Again–if your parents are paying , they may prefer to visit instead of having your aunt go.

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@ndemazita and @Madison85 - Could you please tell me your reasoning as to why you would say no?

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Okay, I’m going to state the obvious here. “I’d like to go to school in the Northeast”…and then you list schools like Vandy, Duke, Mizzou that are not even in the Northeast. Why the need to solo drive to Vandy if you want to go to school in the Northeast?

I do like how you are thinking outside the box with your aunt.

I didn’t do a lot of long distance driving in high school, and it took a lot of road trips before I slowly worked my way up to longer periods of straight driving. Sleepiness sets in, and the constant driving wears you out. Work on taking a short 2 hour drive with your aunt to some fun destination that she would enjoy. That’s a good start.

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@intparent - Did you mean paying for college or the visit? I would be paying for this specific trip, they are partially paying for college. My mom has no interest in seeing any colleges, even if I would be attending. My dad is hardly ever available, those are my main challenges.

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It’s interesting to see the reaction of parents to this and, I have to admit, as a parent I’d be tempted to react the same way. However, when I was 16, my parents and the parents of one of my best friends allowed the two of us to do a week-long college visiting trip on our own over spring break of our junior year of high school. We planned out the itinerary and made all the arrangements with the schools ourselves, visiting seven or eight colleges, staying on campus at each stop, and driving over 1500 miles in total. We checked in with our parents once a day when we arrived at our next destination. It really was a fabulous trip and allowed us to get a great sense of the schools we visited. Driving 8 hours solo does seem like it might be too much, but if there were a friend with whom you could share the driving duties, and if you fully planned out the trip and could show your parents the plan, maybe they’d be more willing to consider it.

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@powercropper‌ - Yes, Mizzou is Missouri. Sorry, slang around here. :smile: I’d like to go to school in the northeast, yes, but I’m also open to more of the mid-atlantic region which for me is somewhat similar. This is why I’m also applying to Duke, which I have visited before with my dad on a road trip.

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@cosar - Thank you for staying open to the idea. I can try to get a friend to come with me, but I doubt that it would work, seeing as hardly any of my friends are even considering leaving the state for college, and I can only think of one or two that would be able to tell me what city Vanderbilt is in.

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My reasoning? It is not safe.

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@Madison85 - I’m sorry if I wasn’t clear, but would you mind explaining your reasoning? I’m only asking so that I can understand myself and then if I still decide to ask, how to lessen those potential dangers.

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Think Baby Steps here. (Old people will know the movie “What about Bob?” famous for Baby Steps…) Sorry, I digress. It’s what old people do… Find a way to do a small independent trip that gives you more driving experience, bringing along someone that your parents trust. Then try another baby step. If you go straight to the “can I drive solo for 8 hours to Vandy” I fear your parents will shoot down your idea cold and never take you seriously.

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If your aunt drives and you can take turns, I would say yes. If you could fly in and stay at the college or with family, I would say yes. Driving alone for 8 hours would not be okay. My opinion isn’t the one that matters. Talk with your parents.