tranquilmind, did you let your child drive to Europe? No one is saying 16 year olds can’t travel alone, just that an 8 hour trek, in the winter, to another state, isn’t a good idea for a fairly new driver.
When I graduated from college, I drove cross country. Before cell phones, didn’t have AAA, it wasn’t my car. I look back and think how unsafe it was. In fact, I got a little twisted coming out of St. Louis and instead of staying on I-70 ended up on I-64, which took me through West Virginia in the dark. I remember driving through some city and I couldn’t read the big green highway signs because they were covered with coal dust. Not really a good idea overall.
My kids have been flying all over by themselves since they were 14, but someone always picks them up at the other end. Right now one is in NYC, but with an adult relative.
People will have all kinds of opinions on these things. I actually think all 3 of my boys are better overall drivers than I am. I think I’m a “good driver” with no at-fault accidents, never a ticket, but I think reflexively (if that’s a word) the kids are “better” responders in challenging conditions. They were driving easily right from the get-go and I think it really has to do with video games. When we learned how to drive the concept of maneuvering grabbing a wheel was a pretty alien concept unless you owned a boat (and we had a sailboat so no experience with a motorboat for me) and we weren’t conditioned to make snap decisions based on what our eyes were seeing. I know I certainly didn’t jump in a car and take off my very first time behind the wheel. We went to a parking lot and learned how to steer around cones. Now they plunk the kids in the car and off they go with the driving instructor. It took me hours to learn how to drive a stick and I hope I never really have to drive one, the kids about two stop signs and they had it down pat. One of mine still prefers and owns a stick shift vehicle.
Regarding last sentence in Post #58:@momofthreeboys However, note that the leading cause of death in teenagers is traffic crashes, and male and female drivers ages 16-19 have the highest average annual crash and traffic violation rate of any age group.
Why do you feel like you need to take a visit now? You’re only a junior and “no time” is not an excuse, you’ve got MONTHS between now and when you apply and even longer to where you have to make a decision if accepted. You can find time between now and then to visit. There’s so many things that could happen to you on a 8 hour drive and not letting your parents know about it is even worse, who will help you if something happens to you? Essentially, you would be breaking their trust as well.
Working with your parents, not against them here is the key. There would be loads of consequences if they discover this, and for good reason. If this really is of that importance to you, take a road trip in the summer where you can visit both Duke and Vandy. Arrange train/bus tickets, where a guardian can go with you. But whatever you do, driving down 8 hours by yourself sounds like a horrible idea. And this is coming from a student. Don’t do it man
Where are you going to stay? Some hotels don’t even let people under 21, let alone under 18, stay by themselves.
I would insist on public transportation if one of my children would want to do something like this. NO ONE be they adult or minor should be taking on an 8 hour car trip, by themselves, as if it were not an issue.
I’m feeling like maybe some of the posters here didn’t read particularly closely, as some of the details are a little off?
But I am mainly responding to say thank you all for your opinions. I will not be making the trip now but I did mention the abstract concept of making a drive on my own to my parents and was informed that my limit is five hours. Which won’t take me to any colleges that I am remotely interested in attending, but is good to know nonetheless.
Again no matter if you disagree with me thanks for posting. It’s interesting to see the different backgrounds coming into play here.
@PeytonMG it was refreshing to respond to and read your posts. You seem like a polite and mature young person, which can’t always be said for high school and college students asking for advice on CC!
@Madison85 Well thank you, I do appreciate you saying that. I try to realize that if I ask for advice, I’m going to get some and it’s not going to matter if I like what I’m hearing or not. I’m just thankful to have a way to ask, and I wish more people would realize that there’s no reason to be rude on an online forum.
I will apologize if this has already been said… one reason to do the trips with at least one parent is that you have someone who knows you well, who can help you process the information. When we did our college tours I found I picked up on very different things than DD. It gave her additional things to think about. More importantly, she also found that when it came time to talk through all of her impressions and research and pure gut instincts about schools - it really helped that she could talk about them with someone who had some basis for comparison.
I would also add, our trips were great fun. I cherished having so much time to spend with her given that she’ll be moving on to college in a mere 8 months! I think she enjoyed the time as well - and would encourage OP to figure out how to arrange the trip so that a parent could come.
BTW - DD sat in on classes, shadowed students, met kids for lunch, etc. I simply found other things to do in order to give her the flexibility to get as much out of the experience as possible. Be sure to set some boundaries and expectations so that you have a chance to participate in the programs offered.
Yep - D went to 2-3 classes, ate lunch with students and all kinds of things and I went to art museums, took photographs, people watched and whatnot and we met back at the end of the day.
I didn’t read the replies but this is my answer. No. And it’s not because of the driving.
Your parents should be part of this process, at least in early stages. Choosing a college is a complex process. On a college visit, four eyes are better than two. Afterward you have someone to “talk out” your impressions with. Im guessing neither of your parents attended college or you don’t feel close to them for some reason.
Id encourage you to sit down with mom or dad and calendar and plan some define dates over the next eight months.
By-the-way, you have the personality trademarks of an excellent lawyer. good luck.
I went on a college trips with S1 and S2 and S3 and it was fun. We had a pretty good time alone/together. Have to say ’ that I never stepped foot on the colleges all three of my boys chose until move-in day. Not sure if it was fate or irony but it’s true. I’ve visited over 30 colleges with 3 boys and they all chose one I hadn’t seen and they visited alone.
Gosh . . . one only needs to read the papers to hear about the HS girls who stay over at dorms and come to harm at college parties. That strikes me as a really good reason why not. Vandy is not exactly a cloisters. Driving aside, I would not send my unsupervised teen there for a 3 day weekend stay over.
My son is a Freshman at Vanderbilt. He did not have the chance to visit as it is far from our home in New England. He was originally wait listed and had put in a deposit towards another school. When he came off the wait list in June I asked him if he would like to fly down with me to Nashville to see it. He thought for a second and then said " I’ve seen the website and my friends say it’s beautiful. I’ll see it when I get there. When we got to Nashville there was one tense moment when we were driving in from the airport. He’s in a triple this year and one of his roommates arrived sight unseen as well. His family lives in Saudi Arabia and he was a boarding school student in New England. Sometimes you just can’t see them all.
Oh sorry, the tense moment was when we were driving through some congested honky tonk near the campus. He hates urban sprawl and for a second he thought we were on campus property.