Debating on transferring to USC or staying at Top 10 LAC

[merc81]

@roycroftmom introduced an alternative perspective, which this topic badly needed. I respect what she has written here.

[Publisher]

Whether intended or not, OP does not need any more insensitive or judgmental remarks.

This is a very tough situation for a human being during an unusually vulnerable & sensitive stage of life.

P.S. This post is not directed to any specific poster or posters.

[roycroftmom]

Since I have been requested to leave, I will do so, with a prediction-OP will look back in the years ahead with far greater appreciation for time at the LAC. Trans POC can have a hard time everywhere, including in the middle of cities, unfortunately, as they are no utopia for that situation, and can be quite dangerous. Hope the coping skills improve in the future while access to free counseling continues.

[gardenstategal]

@pineapplenarwhal , I don’t know you and all your details, but I think you have made the right choice. It was, unfortunately, between 2 suboptimal options. I feel for you and wish you strength!

For a whole different set of reasons, but ultimately ones that made me feel like I had not found my tribe, much of my college experience (not a LAC) was not what I had expected or hoped and I too considered transferring. It was hard bit I stayed because academically, there was no equal option… My son considered my Alma mater and just being back on campus touring made me feel ill. Decades later! But I did navigate my way to graduation – I had some strategies for that, including a junior year abroad – and I do have a handful of friends from then.

Hoping that with the resources available to you, you can find some peace and happiness in your next 2 years.

[ucbalumnus]

@roycroftmom

I just question whether there are really substantial numbers of trans POC on any college campus, as it is relatively uncommon statistically.

Even if there are not many, what also matters is acceptance among others who may otherwise be prospective friends or friend groups. I.e. the OP seeks to find friends and friend groups with similar interests, compatible personalities, etc. (the usual criteria) but also has the additional constraint that the other people have to be accepting of the OP being in multiple outgroups. In a small environment (small college with little community around it), the OP may have “used up” all possible candidate friends and friend groups, something that may be less likely in a large environment.

[pineapplenarwhal]

Thank you for the words of strength. Also, I’m hoping to make it 1.5 years by going abroad

[sevmom]

The study abroad gives you something to look forward to and should be a great experience. London is wonderful. Good plan!

Have you looked into any online support groups for transgender folks , POC? Maybe there’s one out there that would feel more supportive to you. Good luck!

[merc81]

For readers who may be uncertain as to what to imagine due to a lack of direct experience, I asked a 2020 graduate of this college if she had ever heard a racial slur in her nearly eight semesters on campus. By exact reply, she texted “No, I don’t think I did.” When I asked if she had ever heard anything homophobic, she texted “Not that I remember.” People can draw their own inferences, but, personally, I’m not surprised by these responses.

[itsgettingreal21]

I bet you asked a non person of color. What is this evidence of? Ridiculous.

[merc81]

There’s at least one CC member reading this thread who has a daughter who’s excited about attending this college in the fall. My comment was intended to offer another perspective for her and potentially other readers. “Ridiculous”? Of course we could discuss this privately if you would like.

[sevmom]

I think I missed somehow the school here . You are telling people to PM you. Your post history is private. I personally would not PM someone with a hidden profile , especially on a topic that has gone on for so long and has engendered strong feelings.

[compmom]

I hope this thread does not deepen the student’s despair. When young people come on here seeking help, I think we should stick to offering help.

[sushiritto]

I have no clue what college this thread is talking about, and I don’t care. It’s not important to me in order to help the OP.

But asking A person who graduated this unknown college if they had ever heard of anything homophobic and then posting that response is ridiculous IMO. I wouldn’t expect their “clutching pearls” response to be any different. Like a sample of 1 would ever sway me if I’m reading this thread as a prospective applicant.

The OP is pouring their heart out here about their experience and I’m appalled by the post. And if you want to PM me about this post, please proceed.

[Luckyjade2024]

OP asked for help and advice…not criticism. If you can’t be helpful or supportive, maybe don’t post at all!!!

[ucbalumnus]

@merc81

For readers who may be uncertain as to what to imagine due to a lack of direct experience, I asked a 2020 graduate of this college if she had ever heard a racial slur in her nearly eight semesters on campus. By exact reply, she texted “No, I don’t think I did.” When I asked if she had ever heard anything homophobic, she texted “Not that I remember.”

Racism or other bigotry does not always come with blatant use of slurs or bigotry insults. Sometimes, it is hidden from those whom it is directed against, like in the 2013 sorority scandal: The Final Barrier: 50 years later, segregation still exists – The Crimson White

[ssnicker638]

For readers who may be uncertain as to what to imagine due to a lack of direct experience, I asked a 2020 graduate of this college if she had ever heard a racial slur in her nearly eight semesters on campus. By exact reply, she texted “No, I don’t think I did.”

Girlboss! Gaslight! Gatekeep!

[skieurope]

Things which need to stop now :

• Guessing the LAC on a website called College Confidential

• Engaging in cancel culture against any member on this site.

I will also add, for the benefit of the OP, that they need to make the determination on what advice to accept vs ignore. While many users are experienced in a number of areas, none has been vetted by this site as a mental health professional.

[hifidelity]

OP: You are in a tough situation. Thankfully, you are not alone. Good thing that you are able to look for ways to make your situation better.
It sounds like you are going the London route not the Copenhagen route. In case this is not settled, or in case it is helpful for another reader, I just wanted to raise that Copenhagen is very dark in the winter time. You mentioned issues with light at your LAC, so just wanted to be sure that was on your radar. (The summers on the other hand are light-filled.)

[warblersrule]

@ucbalumnus

A few things to note:

1. The OP is simultaneously a member of multiple outgroups, so the experience with discrimination and social alienation may be significantly worse than for those who are members of one outgroup. Those who are members of one outgroup may not necessarily be accepting of those who members of an outgroup on a different dimension.
2. While LGB may be relatively well accepted these days among many younger people (including college students), acceptance of T and perhaps other categories represented by letters that may be part of LGBTQ… probably considerably lags that of LGB.

Excellent post as always. To be blunt, there is still a distressing amount of racism and racial stereotyping within the queer community. Though it may disproportionately affect queer students of color at small, rural colleges with correspondingly small LGBT communities, it is an issue everywhere.

[QballMom]

OP, I am rooting for you. I just want to urge you to reconsider antidepressant medicine and light therapy, at least over the next few years, until you graduate college. There is no shame in medication! As I am sure you know, transgender youth are at a much higher risk for suicide. There are many people that care about you and think you are brave and amazing, including your family, friends and professors. You can do this! Sending lots of virtual hugs.