<p>Should we let our S return to school after making a 0.9 gpa his first semester? Our list of pros and cons is long and we have 2 more weeks to figure it all out. Any past experiences to pass on would be most appreciated!</p>
<p>Not if you’re paying for it.</p>
<p>if there were no special circumstances such as a bout with Mono, I would have my student stay home and go to community college. If he did well, then in the fall we would talk about returning. Or if you feel he was trying hard and just not getting it, vs out until 3 am partying and missing class, I would give him another chance for spring but help him seek out additional help and perhaps easier classes.</p>
<p>No experience, but an outside opinion at least… </p>
<p>I’m assuming there are no extenuating circumstances, like a major illness or the death of a close relative. If those are in the mix, then I might say that a do-over is appropriate.</p>
<p>Otherwise, I’d say either 1) live at home and go to community college or 2) get a job. I don’t see any point in continuing with something that failed unless you’re sure the problem is solved. If you/he does decide not to go back, get an official leave of absence from the school to make possible re-entry an option.</p>
<p>Good luck to all of you…</p>
<p>What was the reason behind the low grades? Was he having trouble adjusting to college life? Did he not take advantage of getting help from his professors? Did he not get a midterm report so that he knew this was coming or did he keep you in the dark? What does he intend to do to improve his grades? I think he needs to have a definite plan of action for you in order to make any decisions.</p>
<p>Are you my sister-in-law? Her son just blew a full ride.</p>
<p>What were the reasons for failing? Can he articulate them and suggest ways to do things differently? If academic, will he go for tutoring help or take less difficult classes? If partying, and you want to give him a second chance, I’d go to the extent of trying to move him to a different dorm since peer pressure is pretty brutal when trying to make major behavior changes and it would be tough to accomplish among the old dormies. I’d also make sure he answered his cell phone every time I called at night to get a sense of whether or not he’s drinking/using. </p>
<p>But staying home and doing CC, if he can still register, or working if it’s too late, might be the best idea.</p>
<p>WHY was it so low? Depression, parties, work too hard. Why didn’t he drop some courses so it wouldn’t be so low? Did he do well in anything? How much $ is it? Did he do decent in HS? Since I am a pushover and always want to think it will get better I might let him go back. I would make sure he has the maximum loans possible in his name and that he realizes it. Does he WANT to go back? As lenient as I am, I’d be inclined to pursue Community College I think, .9 is pretty bad…what is that straight D’s, maybe a few D’s, and F and one decent grade? </p>
<p>My S just transferred after first semester, but his school did say that since he was in good standing he could come back in the Fall if he changed his mind. He only has a C average (c+ counting transfer credit from a CC that he got in HS). Don’t know if your S will have that option with a .9. If he LOVES the school (or is it the parties he loves?) then you might let him go back if you think he will change. He should retake some classes to bring grades up. </p>
<p>See, I keep going back and forth! Listen to your gut. You know if it’s right to let him try again.</p>
<p>Most people here will tell you not to let him go back, unless he is paying. Only you know your financial situation and your son’s ability.</p>
<p>Can you get permission to contact the school to follow his performance? If his school has coursework posted online get his passwords for that. School 1 used something called Moodle and School 2 uses blackboard. Some profs post assignments and grades. If the school uses somehting like that you should DEMAND that your son gives you access. Forget privacy, this is his future and your money. If he needs you to nag him, help him, whatever then why not? Maybe he wasn’t quite ready to do it on his own. Did you ride him at home to do his work in HS?</p>
<p>Good luck. I will need some too. S is transferring and I think new school will have many more social opportunities. I am hoping that since he WILL like it there, he will want to do well (decent) so he can stay. I have deluded myself into beieving that if he likes it he will do better. He hated his old school. Complained a lot and I think got an attitude of “why bother? I’m not staying.” He was NOT happy.</p>
<p>Have you talked with the school/Dean of Students to see what your students options are? Can he take a semester off/leave of absence? Can he take classes during that time at a CC? The first thing I would do is talk to my student, as others have suggested, the second would be talk to his school to see what his options even are.</p>
<p>I agree, maybe change dorms…was it a freshman dorm? Some schools have different dorm programs. Some for honors, some for undecided, some for quieter students, etc. How did his roommate do? if he did badly as well then separate them FAST!</p>
<p>with a 0.9 gpa, your son is most likely on academic probation (which is bad). If he returns to school, unless he makes stellar progress, he will most likely be academically dismissed (which could be worse). </p>
<p>Does his school have grade replacement? If yes, the only way I would let him return is that if he retakes those courses for grade replacement, so that he will have a decent chance of attending school elsewhere if needed.</p>
<p>No matter where he goes, you need to get to the bottom of why he only has a .09 gpa and what is he going to do differently.</p>
<p>I believe in second and third chances, but I wouldn’t give him a second chance at the same college right now. Bring him home, let him work full-time or take classes full-time. After a year, let him return.</p>
<p>I’d also try to understand the reason for the failure. Was he skipping classes? Did he get behind early and not know how to catch up? Was alcohol involved? Could depression, alcoholism, ADHD or an undiagnosed autism spectrum disorder be the cause?</p>
<p>You must already sense that there are no legitimate excuses for having a GPA that low, short of spending the last month of the semester in a coma. Performance is based on capability, attendance, and focus. His GPA is low enough that he is probably skipping classes, not turning in assignments, and not spending any time on his school work. A four week winter break is not enough for your son to hit the reset button on his behavior and return to school with a new attitude.</p>
<p>My friend’s very bright son failed out because he stayed up late every night playing WOW online. He had all sorts of excuses for his bad grades and made all sorts of promises - typical of an 18 year-old - but went right back to the same behavior for 3 more semesters before finally being kicked out. It wasn’t until years later he admitted to his computer gaming because, at the time, he did not want to give it up.</p>
<p>Success in life is about commitment and effort. Until he has a grasp on that, college is a waste of time and money. He can still rebound from 1 bad semester, but a 2nd would be harder to ignore. If it were my son - apply for a LOA, move home, get a job that requires some hustle like commission sales, and take a CC course or two. Return when maturity improves.</p>
<p>I am assuming this isn’t the son that was in architecture school at Wash U?
Cause if it was i would say that, that major has a steep learning curve and students often drop.</p>
<p>Unless there was a major accident/illness that you were aware of- I can’t think of any good reasons for grades to be so low.
To get back on track he needs to probably not take so many courses- be able to identify when & where he is getting off track & ask for help to get back on track & preferably be able to set up resources & supports * beforehand* so that doesn’t happen.</p>
<p>If my student had alerted me to the fact that things weren’t going well- I would be a lot easier to deal with than if I just found out at break.</p>
<p>I would lean toward community college if you have good ones in your area, and reapply for next year- as well as considering if returning to the same school is the right decision.</p>
<p>Additionally- I find that working part time, can help students structure their time better, since that is a common problem.</p>
<p>I don’t think this is the WashU son…that student is probably a junior. I think this is the South Carolina son whose stats may not have been that strong to begin with. It appears that he was, at first, wait-listed for Fall admissions.</p>
<p>Since the mom is asking, I think we can rule out illness during the semerster or death in the family. Sounds more like…excessive socializing, partying, gaming, girls, etc. Or, depression. </p>
<p>He needs to come home. If he has depression, work on that first. If his grades were because of excessive partying/gaming/sleeping in, then he needs to start at a CC, prove himself, and then returen to a 4 year univ.</p>
<p>Is is possible that this child suffers in some way by having a “brainy big bro”? I ask this because my cousin is going thru this with her 2 sons. Older son is at Stanford (Val of his class, etc,). Second son was a modest student and is going to a CSU…and not doing well. He says that he feels like a failure next to his “Stanford brother”. He says that he hates telling people that he’s at a CSU while his bro is at Stanford.</p>
<p>Just a thought.</p>
<p>In a word, no. Don’t let him go back. It will be a waste of your money and a risk to future fin aid if he doesn’t make SAP (satisfactory academic progess).</p>
<p>Honestly, it doesn’t matter why the grades were so low. The issues that lead to the 0.9 GPA can’t be adequately addressed in the course of a semester break, no matter what they are. </p>
<p>If he has a mental illness, flare-up or new diagnosis, he needs to find treatment and be in a more supportive environment than a residential college as treatment begins. </p>
<p>If he parties/games/socializes too much, he needs to get away from the temptation. That he would simply return to his party-boy lifestyle is very likely, no matter how sincerely he wants to change right now.</p>
<p>If he’s got to work a lot and can’t study, he needs to find a cheaper school.</p>
<p>If school is too hard, that’s not going to change.</p>
<p>If he wants to try again and prove himself, have him do it at a community college. The kid screwed up, but it’s not like he has to give up on school completely.</p>
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<p>This. (ten char)</p>
<p>Where does his spring semester GPA to be in order to satisfy the school and or you? Is it attainable?</p>
<p>Does he genuinely want to improve and is asking for another chance? Does he know what, specifically, he needs to do to do better - and is he set to do that? If yes, I would allow the student to return, keep in touch with him closely, monitor if he in fact has changed his ways. If there is a significant improvement: good for both of you. If not, for whatever reason, that will be time to re-assess. </p>
<p>FWIW I have a son who struggled and probably did poorly in his first semester. (He hasn’t told us his grades.) He was sick for almost two weeks - which got him behind in all his classes, but mostly he was overwhelmed by two very demanding weed-out courses in a major he’s since abandoned. But he worked hard. He sought counseling. He got through it. I believe he deserves another shot at succeeding even though I’m quite sure his GPA is probably quite low.</p>
<p>If finances aren’t a concern you could allow him to go back with access to all his online grades & see how he is doing prior to the withdrawal period if that is possible. If finances are an issue that is another story. I would have him talk to his advisor as well.</p>
<p>My S had terrible grades at midterm, he was shocked at how low they were but shouldn’t have been based on the way he was preparing. We were furious. He was able to address the issues pretty quickly. All grades went up by 1 or 2 grades & he got A’s on all finals. But the damage had been done & he doesn’t have a great gpa. I am hopeful that he now knows what it takes but we will keep tabs on him next semester. He absolutely does not want to come home so that is a big motivator.</p>
<p>It is hard for kids to dig themselves out of these holes and the profs have seen it all before. But you know your son, what is he saying?</p>
<p>Also went through this with older S although it was soph year(fraternity pledging strikes again) & he turned it around by the next semester. He changed majors but didn’t need any extra time due to AP credits.</p>
<p>So, it can be done, but he has to really want it.</p>
<p>A couple of thoughts:</p>
<p>What does the student want to do? This is not-what does he expect will happen, this is, I can/cannot get my act together for next semester.</p>
<p>What does the school want at this point? Some places will want a semester break/suspension, some will place student on probation for the next semester.</p>
<p>What is the tenor of your relationship with the student? When our child had a horrific semester (almost to the point of the OPs kid), DH wanted to bring him home. I wasn’t sure our relationship could handle that. My take was let the school make the academic second chance decision; if they were willing to give the kid a chance, we should abide by that. If that second chance was blown, it wouldn’t be our doing.</p>
<p>It saved our relationship and the kid graduated on time.</p>