<p>This is difficult to even type.
My freshman child failed every class in the fall semester at a very prestigious SUNY. He claims he was so unhappy the first month or so that he couldn't catch up and there may have been attendance issues that prevented him from receiving anything but F's
Will/should they expel him?</p>
<p>Hasn’t the spring semester started already? I would think that the issues you raise would have been addressed several weeks ago.</p>
<p>They will put him on academic probation, probably require conferences with an academic counselor, etc. The real question is if he is so unhappy there, why is he still there? What is making him so unhappy?</p>
<p>Almost impossible to flunk out of any college after only 1 semester, even with a 0.0 GPA.</p>
<p>However, your child has a difficult hill to climb to get back in decent shape. Most colleges allow grade replacement on some classes that they failed. Your child should be retaking the classes this semester to replace the old grades. Replacing 2 F’s with a B or A will make a considerable difference in their GPA, but they have some additional room to make up with the other F’s on their transcript.</p>
<p>Your child is probably on academic probation, meaning they need to get their GPA above 2.0 within the next semester or two. If they can’t get their GPA above 2.0, then they will likely be dismissed from school.</p>
<p>Honestly, I think there might be something going on that is well beyond not going to class or understanding the material. Probably partying too much, or doesn’t have a good work ethic to complete the work on their own. </p>
<p>It’s possible that the SUNY school they are at isn’t a good fit for them. Have you considered pulling your child out of that school and having them come home to attend a community college for the first two years? At this point, it might be your best option. Your child needs a little more structure and living at home and attending a CC would probably benefit them.</p>
<p>Hi LawnGuyLandDad: I know partially how you feel, and I completely understand how hard this is to acknowledge. </p>
<p>As the others have said, have you talked to him about what he thinks went wrong? Does he like the school but just not his major, or the other way around? </p>
<p>My DS was put on academic probation after only his first quarter of school, and we had some very serious discussions about going forward. </p>
<p>What are the boundaries/expectations you have set for the next semester? I imagine you would have heard by now whether he was dismissed, or what his academic probation status is.</p>
<p>Reaching out is a good thing, and you can count on lots of good input on this forum.</p>
<p>He had a very tumultuous relationship and wanted to attend the same school she did thus, he was very unhappy.
I’ll follow up repeating the courses to replace the grades but, as for GPA, even if he aces his classes this semester, he’d only have a 2.0 GPA at the end of the year.</p>
<p>He insists he’ll get all A’s this semester, he didn’t want to go the CC route and feels he can redeem himself this semester.</p>
<p>I was stunned they didn’t summarily bounce his butt!</p>
<p>LawnGuy, (should we call you LawnGuy or LI?) deepest sympathies. Fang Jr. did barely better than that his first quarter. It’s not at all uncommon, hard as it is for us to acknowledge. </p>
<p>I suggest you try to probe deeper. Most students with relationship difficulties don’t fail all their classes. I’m not saying that wasn’t a piece, just that it wasn’t the whole thing.</p>
<p>How did he do in high school? How much help/nagging/organizing did he need?</p>
<p>At the very least, he needs to learn to get academic help. He got in over his head the first month, but then he didn’t know how to extricate himself. I suggest you and he, over the phone or in person, go over all the academic help available to him: professors, tutoring centers, study groups, whatever.</p>
<p>They always say they can redeem themselves. And some do. But it’s best to give them all the tools you can.</p>
<p>What was LawnSon telling you during the fall semester about what was going on? Were you able to see this coming at all or was he giving you the impression everything was fine? If he was/is depressed, there are resources on campus for that. I would be very concerned that whatever factors there were last fall have not resolved and spring could be just as bad. Failing everything is a sign to me that something could be seriously wrong.</p>
<p>While he did more the stumble, many kids have rough first semesters. Encourage him to seek help if he gets behind or in over his head this semseter. And to set reasonable expectations for himself this semester. If he failed all his classes in the fall he should not expect to get all A’s this semester, that is a lot of pressure to put on himself. Encourage him to do his best possible</p>
<p>Are you sure he isn’t depressed? My son failed everything one semester because he sunk back into depression and along with his agoraphobia that especially comes out with his major depression, that sealed his fate. It wasn’t his first semester but there you have it. He has quit going to college, has been looking for a job , and all we are hoping is that he gets a job, moves out and then returns to a college (maybe online) to finish up his degree. Our son probably has less than a year to go.</p>
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<p>This may not be true. If the college actually lets him replace the new grade with the failing grade, rather than averaging, he could come out just fine. </p>
<p>DH dropped out (flunked out) of his second quarter at a UC school years ago, as the Vietnam war protests as well as our new relationship proved too much of a distraction for his 17 year-old brain. He left school and went to work rigging sailboats. We married two years later, and he went back to school full-time, pulled straight As, finished in six quarters and received a full fellowship to Princeton for graduate school. It’s amazing what a difference being in an emotionally stable place can make for one’s ability to focus.</p>
<p>Good luck to your son. I’d give him another chance next semester and keep very close tabs on his emotional state. If he isn’t able to handle it, encourage him to take a couple years off and work for awhile. When he does go back, he’ll be older, wiser, and he’ll know why he’s there.</p>
<p>And yeah, we married when DH was 19. :rolleyes: Still happily married, though, 41 years later.</p>
<p>He was very angry and by the time he was getting in gear, it was too late. Of course he blamed us and lied about his progress.</p>
<p>I BELIEVE he now understands his predicament and will excel. He knows he must do well if he wants to ultimately transfer elsewhere/anywhere!</p>
<p>He’s very bright but, not as bright as HE thinks he is</p>
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</p>
<p>A common teen/young adult ailment. Sometimes failure is the best motivator for success.</p>
<p>Be kind, patient, and keep believing. I have a feeling he won’t disappoint himself.</p>
<p>Other posters here have some sound advice, so I’ll adress a different issue. Why does Lawnguy tell us “a very prestigious SUNY”? Does that have some relevence that escapes me? Wouldn’t the situation be the same whether the school was the oldest in America, or the newest community college? Why does the OP think it necessary to add that to the orig post?
And what about “there may have been attendance issues”. There may have been?
I hope the OP has answers to that, the reasons, and the solutions.</p>
<p>I took the OP’s description of his SUNY as “prestigious” as an indicator of the frustration the father feels. ( My son blew his chance at this great college! What’s the matter with this kid??) It’s actually kind of refreshing for someone on this board to hold a state college in such esteem.
I also gather that he doesn’t know the details of why his kid flunked out, but was told that attendance issues were involved. Maybe the boy didn’t show up for a final or mid-term exam, which resulted in an automatic F. Just speculating.</p>
<p>yhoss,</p>
<p>LOL…I added prestigious because I thought they’d be the most likely to bounce his sorry butt. They ain’t clamoring for students to attend.
Attendance? Yeah, did he miss some quizzes/exams or is there a minimum attendance number after which it’s impossible to pass?
Solution? as said, encouragement. He’s not dead, in rehab or the hospital, always hope.
He’s my kid, I love him, unconditionally. I want him to accept the opportunities offered. When we brought him home from the hospital at birth they’d run out of user guides on parenting. We’ve had to “wing it” for the last 18 years</p>
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</p>
<p>Translating this from teenage boy to normal English: I skipped a lot of classes the first month, and then I was too ashamed to go to my professors or anyone else and try to salvage things.</p>
<p>As one in the same boat, I feel for you. It is very frustrating to have your nice kid struggle and fail and not tell you about it until the grades are out. I can see my son having the same issue. As someone else said, you’ve got to love him through this. He’s a good kid who screwed up in the time when a lot of kids don’t put forth their best effort. And it’s a touchy subject for him, which means your ability to guide him is limited. After trying to broach the subject for weeks and hearing “I don’t want to talk about it!” I finally got to ask “how did this happen?” (subtext: tell me you’ve learned how not to let it happen again) and encouragement (I love you/I’m proud of you/this isn’t like you/it’s very hard freshman year). So now her task is: don’t overstress “I have to get perfect grades to pull up my GPA” but stay focused (don’t party; seek/get help; pick classes you can do well in).</p>
<p>Good luck</p>
<p>cfang,</p>
<p>You may be right. Or, if you miss 10 classes automatic failure. Don’t know if there are such provisions</p>
<p>Many schools have everything online - grades, syllabus, etc. so you can check how your child is doing and what the expectations are for each class. Yes, as college students are generally considered adults, they have to grant you rights to see grades, etc. If it was my child, I’d make granting me access a requirement for paying for him to go back to school. That will allow you to stay on top of things better. Others have also offered great advice.
And as for prestigious SUNY schools, there are a couple. IMHO, Geneseo and Binghamton are extremely good schools and can be compared to private schools anywhere. Good luck.</p>