I finally did it and picked a college! I’ve started declining my spots in the schools I’ve been accepted to and sending thank you emails to the admissions officers that went above and beyond to help me. However, I still can’t do it for my top 2 that I didn’t choose. I know that logically the one I picked makes sense, saves money, and I’m genuinely so excited to attend, but there’s a nagging feeling in my heart (I know I’m being a bit dramatic but it honestly does kinda tug) when I log in to decline these two. Is this a sign I’m making the wrong decision? Or is it normal?
Normal. But you can wait until a few more days.
It suggests you are a nice, caring person. I know the feeling. One of mine loved a university, and we did too. When the rep visited their high school, mine showed up in that university’s t-shirt, which we had bought on a visit. The school was not well known in our area, and they were the only student at their high school to talk to the rep. They sat around and talked for an hour and had a great time together. The rep later went to bat to get mine an extra few thousand $$$. But we had a better deal elsewhere, mine had a great admitted students’ experience there, and went that way. That hurt to say no. So we get it.
AND, the admissions reps will understand, and they really need the right number of accepted students to reject their offers. If 100% of accepted students accepted their offers, the school would be in big trouble. At a typical competitive university the “yield” might be 20-40% of accepted students accepting their offers. So a school wanting a freshman class of 4000 might accept 12,000 and really hope 8000 decide not to come, because if only 7000 said no, then there’s a big problem with classes, housing, etc. If that makes you feel better. And, yes, great advice, wait a couple of days.
Thank you! I’ve had similar experiences as your child, where the admissions officer has worked towards helping me with getting extra scholarships and opportunities. I guess I just feel like it makes the decision so final. It is hard, but it’s helpful to know that it’s normal so your advice was really helpful. I’ll wait a day or two to turn down my last one, but I’ll let one know today!
@bird2618, my daughter is going through the same thing. Wishing you the best!
I felt this way last year with a couple of my D’s choices – and it’s not even me going to college! Even though I knew she made the right choice, there were a couple colleges I didn’t want her to say goodbye to! And when the admissions officer is so helpful, it’s even harder.
It’s great you’re writing thank you notes – I’m sure most students don’t. Make it heartfelt and also know that at the end of the day this is their job and it’s your life so you have to go with what makes sense. Don’t worry too much about their feelings. AOs know not everyone who gets into attends – it’s the nature of the beast!
My daughter has paid her deposit at the school of her choice (that she’s happy with, by the way) but still can’t bring herself to officially reject the 3 reach schools she got into. It’s normal. I did comment to her that perhaps if she declined her acceptance it would open up a spot on the wait list for someone else. All that did was make her feel horribly guilty. Now I’m just letting her work through these feeling on her own.
Most schools aren’t offering one-for-one spots as they receive declines. They’ll work the waitlist next week, when the bulk of declines come in and they know their RD yield.
Normal! It’s called buyer’s remorse and it happens with a lot of big decisions (a big one is buying a house), and doesn’t mean that you made the wrong one.
I feel this way about my kid’s top favorites @bird2618. Many of those who really liked all their schools will feel this way especially if it was a close decision. It is normal. As others have said they are used to getting rejection in many ways. From in person visits, to high school presentations, to the college choice by their favorites when it isn’t them. They will be ok. Send your thank you notes and then move forward, look to where you picked and get excited