Horrendously offensive comment by @Center . I know you like to play the politically incorrect parent, but you crossed a significant line in this thread.
Looks like weâve heard the left-wing view, the moderate view, the right-wing viewâŠoh, and the Cro-magnon view. Are we missing any other opinions??
I have no view at all, but I feel like posting anyway. 
I know almost nothing about Deerfield, and canât comment on its culture. But if they told students that if they misbehaved, they wouldnât walk at graduation, then by golly those boys shouldnât have walked and if they were my kids I wouldnât have wanted them to.
I donât know much about Deerfield but I do know enough about kids to say it is naive not to acknowledge how much the culture and tone of an institution dictate the way boys and girls treat each other.
Because of my job I see the same group of boys and girls interact with each other doing the same activity both in school and in an environment controlled by me + the person I work with. The boys are much more respectful of the girls in the environment controlled by me. Far, far more so.
Are the various ways women are treated now or the opportunities for women better now than they were in the 50âs? Of course, I donât think anyone is arguing that point. Is there still a lot of disrespect in the way anyone who doesnât look like the people in power is treated? Yup.
@ThacherParent - I truly appreciate your post and kind words, but you never have to apologize to me. I know it can be hard to tell sometimes- especially with me , but I was ribbing you more than anything else. Iâve had nothing but admiration and respect for you- always . Iâm sorry I didnât see your post sooner because I had to log off and run out.
I still really like that sentence though⊠If you donât mind, Iâd like to hurl it at my husband sometime just for fun. 
Anyway- All the best and Happy New Year to you and your family.
There are much bigger issues @ BS even than those mentioned in the article or on this threadâŠmore to come :bz
Gonna pitch in here as a studentâdonât want to overstep my boundaries, so yell at me if I say anything bad lol
I attend a regular olâ high school, and I can say, in my anecdotal experience, wealthy white male students tend to be treated easier. Not that this is always the case, correlation does not always equal causation, but there seems to be a positive bias towards them. I can say with absolute positivity I have been treated better because of my race, but thatâs not really relevant to the gender discussion.
Looking at things such as Prepfessions (I know, the most reliable of informatio related to boarding school), I have noticed female-identified students are, in some cases, sexually objectified and almost held in an inferior light? Again, itâs Prepfessions, so like⊠obviously not representative of any sort of majority of prep students, but seeing senior students shaming impressional freshman girls about being curious, as all young teens are, definitely leaves a poor taste in my mouth.
I found something interesting from Phillips Andoverâs â2018 State of the Academyâ survey: a large, large majority of the school thinks students who are economically advantaged are punished less harshly. Again, not gender related, but something I found interesting, seeing how wealth has been mentioned frequently in this thread, and it backs up my personal experience.
Gonna get a little anecdotal hereâback in middle school, there was a nude photo ring in my class. A few girls (maybe 3) and eight or nine guys. Supposedly (Iâm not 100% sure of what happened, I very obviously didnât take part) the girls were HEAVILY badgered into sending the photos, and the boys spread them around the school. Two of the girls were expelled and threatened with legal action. One of the girls got hit with a suspension. ZERO of the boys were suspended or expelled (they did have to speak to a police officer of the importance of their actions). I was dumbfounded by what happened. Again, this is purely anecdotal, but it sort of showed me how, in some cases, educational discipline seems to favor males. This isnât always the case, as is seen in violent cases, of course, but I can absolutely see the sexual harassment case as very possible.
Women areâI donât want to say frequently, but it happens quite a bitâmistreated when reporting sexual harrassment cases: âShe was asking for it, did you see what she was wearing?â as has been reflected once in this thread. Aside just a little bit, but many times rape kits are not reported to law enforcement. Hell, even law enforcement sometimes takes the âneutral sideâ. I donât want to say guilty until proven innocent, but sometimes enough investigation is not taken for cases. Totally off-topic, sorry.
Administrators do not want to ruin a boyâs life, of course, but doing nothing but assigning an apology letter solves absolutely nothing when it comes to sexual harrassment. It is less than a slap on the wristâitâs a mist on the forehead. Maybe I misread the article, though.
I also want to say how disgusted I am with comment #37. I am not a woman, teen girl, whatever, but I audibly gasped. Teen girls expressing themselves isnât âdressing like a hookerâ. And, even if they were, how does this reflect self-worth at all? Whose business is it if a girl wishes to wear a crop top and a short skirt? Not mine, and not yours (unless itâs your child, then I mean do what you think your kid needs). And, if youâre an adult, I DEFINITELY think you shouldnât say teen girls look like hookers. Thatâs sort of creepy.
Okay, that was a lot of very emotionally fueled word jumble. If I offended anyone, or said anything not good, I non-sarcastically am asking you to tell me so. If I misread/misinterpreted anything, please tell me so.
@CavsFan2003 Thank you for sharing. We parents are often view the world through lenses shaped by our own experiences over decades past. You and others your age have the benefit of a fresh, untainted view. But in all cases, our âviewâ is our perception and we all benefit from checking those perceptions against the best objective evidence that we have at the time (i.e. the closest thing to reality).
A search for the rates of discipline by race, gender, etc. reveals that there are much higher (disproportionate) rates of suspension and expulsion among boys, African Americans, Native Americans and students with disabilities. The discussion in those sources is interesting, but I found no clear causal relationship(s). Are the students on the opposite side (whites, girls, asians, etc) protected? Or are there unfair and severe punishments being handed out to the groups effected? And if so, why and by whom (i.e. are they rooted in biases)? I donât know and canât find the answers at this time, but I donât feel the need to fill in the gaps with perceptions.
BTW - there is fantastic reading on the flaws of our perceptions and how they differ from reality in books like âPredictably Irrationalâ and âThinking Fast and Slowâ, written by behavioral economists, but relevant to all facets of life.
The faculty member involved in this case, reported by the Boston Globe, was a swim coach as well as a teacher. I am hoping that this case will bring to light many discrepancies and/or inconsistencies in private school athletics. The Womenâs Sports Foundation in 2016 published a paper on the need for gender neutral policies for coaching compensation, contracts, evaluation and certification. There are inconsistencies across states, as well, for certification or licensure. At some schools and colleges (I will not state here but you can look it up) male coaches for the same sport are given multi-year contracts, while the women are not. I am not talking about money (that is another issue), just contracts for job security. At some schools that I do know, there are trainers available for the boys during practice and games but not available for the girls teams. There may also be a âtiered programâ of athletics at schools, with inequities of compensation or support found within each tier. Nope, I do not expect the golf team to have the same resources as football! It is an interesting and tangled way that coaches are employed, compensated, and evaluated at the BS levelâŠalso multiple roles fulfilled by coaches at boarding schools ( eg dorm parent, teacher, advisor, AO, college counselor)âŠtough situation that I would not want to be in and I respect the dedication and hard work of BS coaches. All I am hoping is that maybe this lawsuit will lead to much needed reforms in private high school athleticsâŠor at the very least, get us talking about the issue.
Happy New Year and best wishes for you all in 2019! =D>
I have noticed a big discrepancy in the experience of coaches for boys and girls at the schools we have looked at: boys coach played the sport D1, girls coach had kids who went to the school. Slightly annoying as the parent of an athlete!
The incoming head of school spent most of his career at St Andrewâs School in DE, a school with a strong culture that emphasizes kindness, inclusion, and social responsibilityâŠ
Can be a good idea to find another parent whose same sex child plays the same sport as your child. I donât think this would be an unreasonable request once accepted. That parent might be able to answer questions concerning what the coach is REALLY like and what support/expectations the kids are under. Could also be a friend of a friend type thing if you know other families at the school. I looked the coach in the eye and spoke to them. I felt very comfortable with this person based on some of the things the coach asked. My kid was deciding between two schools and the coach said some things which resonated with my kid ( and our family). The coach also didnât disparage the other school ( bonus points). Coach turned out to be one of my kids teachers. Was exactly the same in the classroom as on the field. Work hard, be fair, be kind, donât give up, if you are wild successful help others. Yep.
I feel it is interesting that the Chairman of the Board of Trustees at the time was one of Harvey Weinsteinâs lawyers Rodgin Cohen. He retired last year but Deerfield gave him a big award. It should have been for the 28 Deerfield students that broke every school rule (and some plus a sexual assault allegation) in 2015 âswimgateâ faced NO disciplinary consequences. Cover up for Deerfield. Coverup for Harvey Weinstein.
H. Rodgin Cohen.
Chairman of Deerfieldâs Board of Trustees- retired last year as chairman
The New York Times reports that attorney H. Rodgin Cohen of prestigious New York firm Sullivan and Cromwell, examined Harvey Weinsteinâs personnel file and assured the board of The Weinstein Company that it was safe to keep Weinstein on because âthere were no unresolved complaints or threats of litigation against him.â The Times also notes, that in that file, Cohen discovered at least one sexual harassment allegation against Weinstein. This allegation was made in 2014 by Emily Nestor, a former employee of Weinsteinâs. According to the Times,