Deerfield - Gay Students targeted

<p>I think if your look a little more carefully at JustJoe's post he said...</p>

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Giving Deerfield the benefit of the doubt, they may be doing this, behind the scenes.

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<p>I don't think he is making judgement, but is concerned that Deerfield is not publicizing that they are taking steps. </p>

<p>There are more "audiences" to the action of a school than the parents, students, donating alum, and staff. There is the general public that the school needs to sell that they are taking appropriate actions. It helps to keep people from starting "sweep it under the rug" rumors.</p>

<p>While it is painful for an istitution to keep bringing these kinds of things up publically, if handled well, it can be much better than the alternative.</p>

<p>I do understand your being upset by the prodding, though. It is tough to be associated with any institution when such things happen. I hope that this is resolved in a manner that all parties can be at peace and life can move on.</p>

<p>Post #25 said it best when referring to these actions as "hurtful". We should all be beyond such mean spirited, demoralizing actions. Life is way too short to spend any amount of time or effort on hateful undertakings. That being written, I do, however, understand the cultures of both schools at which these dispicable deeds occurred. One school is quite conservative, and the other is a very caring, loving environment that may be pushing too hard, too fast to drastically increase diversity. Hopefully, both of these incidents are more a sign of "growing pains" and maturation than of ignorance. Each institutions' reactions to these events will be more telling than the inexcusable adolescent ignorance that prompted these truly hurtful actions.</p>

<p>Thanks Goaliedad, for helping clarify my post. Balto, I think you misunderstood me. I said Deerfield may have a reason why they are not addressing this publicly, but in my opinion, they would be best served to respond in a manner similar to the way St. Paul’s did. </p>

<p>Nonetheless, someone in Deerfield's PR department should rethink the message Deerfield’s sending by not addressing this in a public forum. The fact that this became known, not through the Deerfield organization, but rather through Exeter and Andover's newspapers, does not cast Deerfield in the best possible light. Silence leads to conjecture and rumor.</p>

<p>Geez, I said to was very wrong for them to do so, but very hard for them to proclaim the lord's word openly against immoral practice.</p>

<p>It is amazing that people on this board are defending the gays, but not as upset about the other events mentioned in the letter of kids at Exeter writing racial slurs on peoples doors. Or other threads in which the "harkness club" is celebrated.</p>

<p>I think all of these hate crimes are disturbing. But I feel it equally disturbing - and perhaps why the kids took the cowards way - that one is slammed for feeling that sex outside a marriage by a man and a woman is wrong!!!!! Obviously the Dean also felt so.</p>

<p>Biggest? said, "or the point is for those that were hesitant to send kids to the above schools (such as my dad) due to the immoral happenings"</p>

<p>I think you should get accepted prior to worrying about your dad being hesistant to send you.</p>

<p>Your circular moralizing is making me dizzy. Now the fact that you are against racism, makes your condemnation of gays ok?</p>

<p>Lets be frank about this, St. Pauls responded in a very public way because they had no choice. A felony was committed. It would appear that is not the case at DF. What I think is troubling is the posters here seem to think they are a constituency that DF should address. You are not. They are addressing the issue with students, parents, employees, etc - the constituency that matters to them most. To imply they were silent on this is just wrong and you should stop making that representation.</p>

<p>Balto55: don't you think that future applicants (not to mention accepted students who might attend in the fall) are a constituency that DF might want to address, along with all of the other ones that you rightly mention? I don't think anyone here is saying that DF is not doing anything to address the issue. What we ARE saying is that they are not being public about what they are doing. Thus, leading to speculation and rumors. It would have been beneficial for ALL concerned if DF had been more open about their actions.</p>

<p>BiggestFoot,
just because it's "immoral" in the Christian view doesn't make it wrong for anyone else. Like a lot of posters here said, it's unfair to just choose rules of the bible that you want to follow. The whole "any sex between anything but a married man and woman is wrong" is just one thing. If you followed all of the Bible's rules, you would end up also never doing any homework on Sundays (you're supposed to save the day for rest and/or help others. homework doesn't really help others, unless you're thinking about the school you go to and your wanting to raise its academic level so that more students will come and the bankrupt principal will be able to keep living in his apartment instead of living in the streets yadayadayada and so on. don't tell me you're doing that.) and you can never miss mass on Sundays, unless you go to the one on saturday instead or something.
have you never told a lie before? have you never told your mother/father that you've done your homework so that you can watch that show you'Ve been waiting for all week to watch? that's against the commandment that tells you to not "bear false witness against your neighbor" and also against the one that says "respect your mother and father"
hmph.</p>

<p>ick. short answer: no, I have not.
also, the bible does not say "sunday", it says the sabbath which technically is sat. And I go to Mass several times per week. I will add your salvation to my prayers.</p>

<p>plant. yes, accepted at thacher - and no they don't have a gay club but a united culture club. And my wait list card from deerfield and andover had a "please let us know if you change your mind" written on them and note I withdrew from several of the discussed schools for varied reasons. </p>

<p>If you will read my note, you will see that I said the hate and intolerance expressed as was done was wrong. Period. But, I added as the dean stated that their was probably no other way for beliefs that such sexual behavior is wrong to be openly said. I believe, as do the majority of Americans, that such behavior is immoral (note, gay marriages voted down almost every where).</p>

<p>If you all would study your Bible (which apprently you have not), it is not just the old testament which talks about the sins of non-marriage sex. Paul's writings repeatedly talk about it. Also look for the Greek words "pornea" (often translated "fornication") and akatharsia (often translated "uncleanness"). I do not follow alot of the rules of the Old Testament. I do, however, try to follow the rules of the New.</p>

<p>Finally, again it is interesting that the loudest voices decry the wrongs against the gays, but ignore the racial slurs or "sex on the tables" (harkness club". Other examples of this are more Chinese were killed by the Japenese than all killed by Hitler and Stalin together. A percentage of more Indians were slaughtered by Americans than all of the above. Where are the memorials to their holocaust in DC, etc.</p>

<p>sorry, then. :( didn't mean to be offensive or anything.
wow, I never knew that perfect people existed.</p>

<p>Ick, Not perfect. Just try to be a good Christian.</p>

<p>Now. I got asked to revisit Deerfield, Andover and Hotchkiss, so dad and I will do D on monday (7), H on tuesday and A on Wed. Would love to discuss above with any of you in person. Look for 5'10" skinny guy with dark brown/black skin.</p>

<p>This thread has taken an inappropriate turn to say the least. Enough is enough.</p>

<p>We should also remember that we are dealing with minors. Only so much can be stated publicly. This obviously is a difficult time for DA and until they investigate and understand everything that went on, not much should be said.</p>

<p>These kinds of acts unfortunately happen more often then they should in many schools. The kids involved in this and the student body as a whole will learn some very important life lessons. And they all need to be supported and educated about one another. That is how, I believe, they will grow and be able to move forward.</p>

<p>I hope people will not rush to judge one another so quickly. Very little good usually comes of it. Let's let the dust settle and see what transpires.</p>

<p>BiggestFoot: Certainly, we will disagree on many things, and neither of us is likely to change based on opinions expressed by anonymous posters on a message board. However, I do feel it is important for you to have all the information available to you as you choose your school. You may think that because marriage rights have been voted down in most states, that rights for LGBT people do not have a lot of support in this country. However, all public surveys show that large majorities of young people are in favor of equal marriage rights. You are certainly entitled to your opinions, but I believe that your views on LGBT rights will be in the minority among your peers at most of the schools you are looking at. Andover had one of the first Gay-Straight Alliances in the country, for example. Hotchkiss and Deerfield also have GSA. Also, Thacher seems supportive of LGBT rights as well:</p>

<p>The</a> Thacher School</p>

<p>And, even though other forms of hatred and discrimination have not been discussed, I think most of us find them equally abhorrent as well. Certainly, treatment of Native Americans in this country was terrible. Should you and my niece both attend Andover, it will be a great opportunity for each to learn about the other's experiences.</p>

<p>Good luck to you in finding the school that is the best for you and your family.</p>

<p>Balto, I am usually in agreement with you, but in this case, I must disagree. </p>

<p>Although it is true that Deerfield’s responsibility is primarily with their current students, they also have a responsibility to other constituents: students that have been offered admission for next year and future applicants. </p>

<p>How they handle this matter reflects back on them, either positively or negatively. We live in a global world, where information is disseminated in seconds. The fact that Deerfield has not publicly said anything about this incident gives one pause. I am confident that Deerfield is handling the matter appropriately internally, however, not to provide a statement to the public is just poor public relations. Toby Emerson was quoted in the Phillpian. Deerfield had to know that the story would get out. Why not release a simple statement acknowledging what happened and that they are currently investigating the incident? As others have said, to say nothing lends itself to supposition and gossip.</p>

<p>BF- Which Bible are you talking about? It is common academic knowledge that the bible has been altered, rewritten, edited over time by a host of folks. Lots of different versions and interpretations. Some gospels were rejected some kept by the original admissions committee. Christians don't even agree on whether Jesus was a spiritual, physical, literal or temporal symbol of God. Slavery can be justified by the bible should we bring that back?</p>

<p>BF, it's called Harkness Society, not Harkness Club.</p>

<p>Oh, and get off your high horse, the air's thin up there.</p>

<p>No, actually I think it is "harkness club"</p>

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Harkness Club - An unofficial 'society' of students who have engaged in illicit activity involving one of the school's many Harkness tables; considered a very elite and very dangerous designation.

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<p>Phillips</a> Exeter Academy - Exeter slang and jargon</p>

<p>Lax, I will add you to my prayers as well. Slavery cannot be justified by the NT.</p>

<p>Brooklyn, the polls i have seen differ from what you are stating. The South is totally against it, the NE is for it and the rest is evenly split. My minister believes that AIDs was sent by God as a punishment, I am not sure.</p>

<p>However, I agree that diversity is good. I have a muslim friend - whom i believe is not going to heaven even thought his God and mine are probably the same -- i believe that only though Jesus Christ can you go to heaven. I believe that gays and those that do premarital sex are not going to heaven, perhaps that is what percatory is for. </p>

<p>I strongly believe that those who send hateful messages re: gay or race or ... are also wrong. I do think the Deans should sort it out and then let us know what is happening. </p>

<p>Thacher believes in cultural diversity and discovery which is good; they do not support gay rights per my admission person - more like the us army, no tell policy.</p>

<p>Well, that's frankly horrifying. Even the people who created the military's "Don't ask, don't tell" policy say now that it was a horrible move. If the admission person at Thacher specifically stated that they do not support gay rights in their school, and that's the school policy, then they are off my family's list permanently. </p>

<p>BF, what you're missing, and what others are trying to explain to you is this: You will be meeting, interacting with, and living with gay students in the immediate future. There will be some at your school, no matter where you go. If your religion says that's a bad thing, then keep your mouth shut about the issue while you're at school. Unless it's in the spirit of honest discussion, no one will want to hear you spew what the rest of us see as hatred toward others. I realize you don't see it that way, but be aware that WE do. </p>

<p>I would suggest learning to be more open-minded, it'll serve you well in life, but that's up to your interpretation of your religious beliefs. Love the sinner, not the sin is fine---but stand by that. Or you will do more damage and emotional harm to innocent kids who are just trying to find their way in the world. As a student, you are not a missionary. Common courtesy is to ignore the behaviors of others that do not affect you---please remember that at school.</p>

<p>BiggestFoot: My review of past posts seems to indicate that you were waitlisted at both Andover and Deerfield? Yet you stated that they asked you to revisit? Can you please clarify? (And I am leaving it to others to respond to your other comments, as they have done so quite eloquently.)</p>